I’m no expert but if a guy is planning on embarking on a March Break road trip with his family and several others, you’d think he’d want to pay close attention to the itinerary, right?
For example, if a middle-aged Bostonian D-Bag is told by his wife that Niagara Falls is on the agenda, and if that destination is one of the places said D-Bag regularly visits with his high school age mistress – and on occasion, some of her friends – you’d think he’d pipe up and say something like:
“I adore you and only you, honey… but I hear Niagara Falls is a focal point for that new zombie cat virus they just discovered.. and it may be jumping species to humans.”
Or something like that. Admittedly, I’m not well-versed in the art of marital deception. Let’s face it, even if I was, my luck would run our sooner or later and I’d be dead by now, and death by frying pan to the back of the skull does not appeal to me…
But back to the cheating bastard in question. This schmuck had the misfortune of encountering three separate individuals who recognized, and worse, acknowledged him in front of his spouse. (Travel Tip: Hotels will often program their reservation system to display a “Welcome The Guest Back To Our Property!” note for Front Desk Agents to utilize, so if you’re planning on ‘going undercover’ keep that in mind.)
As a bellman I’m well-versed in dealing with those who are well-versed in marital deception so I know better than to say, “Nice to see you again!” when I recognize a cheater. Sadly, I have yet to be charged with the task of creating a real world training program for new hires so this sort of thing is going to continue to happen.
But that works out well for all of you, doesn’t it?
As for the cheating bastard, I’ve no idea if his jig was up (which would seriously impair his chances of getting anything up again) but I know for certain his wife was not impressed when the Front Desk Agent recognized him and inquired where his “stunning daughter” was – especially when his spouse countered with, “We have two sons! Who’s he talking about Howard?”
Poor, poor, horny Howard. It’s tough to be a criminal mastermind when all the blood’s rushing away from your brain, isn’t it?
See you in the lobby, kids…