Author Archives: The Hook

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.

31 Things You Never Knew About Nigara Falls.

My hometown is many things to many people, perhaps moreso than any other city on the planet. To some Niagara Falls is a city constructed around one of Mother Nature’s most powerful works of art. To others it is a … Continue reading

Posted in Hotel Life | Tagged , , , , , | 18 Comments

“Boy, That Was Quick!”

And yes, that is what she said. And it’s also what you’re going top be thinking after reading this one, friends. Incidentally, assuming I’ve done my job correctly, you’ll also be thinking: “Well, at least that was so hilarious my … Continue reading

Posted in Hotel Life | Tagged , , , , , | 26 Comments

No, I Haven’t Been Fired Yet.

Anyone with even a passing familiarity with my “work” will agree that, while I’m wearing a bellman’s uniform at least, I’m a pretty outspoken guy. To say the least. Well, trust me, the best/worst is yet to come. In fact, … Continue reading

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Silent Sunday: Pet Shaming Done Right.

Well, friends, another week has burned away into ash, to be scattered across the sands of time. Yes, I am a upbeat devil, thank you for noticing. Passover hit Niagara Falls like a Sharknado times ten this year. I love … Continue reading

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More Fun On The Phone With The Hook.

Once again, I’ve decided to inspire a collective question among my readership. And not just, “Why the hell are we reading this blog? After all, there are literally a billion cat videos on YouTube, and there’s still some paint drying … Continue reading

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The Hook’s Guide To Parenting: What Not To Do.

Parents, for almost two decades I’ve been watching you and your kids. Yes, that is officially the creepiest sentence I have ever typed. With the possible exception of, “About last night… you were sleeping so soundly, I felt it best … Continue reading

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Things You Should Never Say To A Niagara Falls Hooker.

Certain marketing geniuses have tried – rather unsuccessfully, it should be noted – to market Niagara Falls as a”Little Vegas” in the past. While my hometown has two casinos, it is no Las Vegas – by any means. And by … Continue reading

Posted in Hotel Life | Tagged , , , , , , , | 24 Comments