Category Archives: Hotel Life

Tales of the modern (douchebag) traveler

Yes, This Really Happened.

It was a day like any other. Which, in Niagara Falls, meant anything could, and probably would, happen. And it sure did. One of my hotel’s most popular features is the pool, a chlorine-filled hole in the ground brimming with … Continue reading

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Meet The Greatest Parents Ever.

The tale you are about to read is the unvarnished, chillingly-real truth. The participants are far too stupid to be anything but non-fictional. Saturday, May 23, 8:20 am.  The hallway of an unnamed Niagara Falls luxury hotel. I arrived, cart … Continue reading

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The Hook On… Tipping.

The worst tippers of ’em all? Dead guys. Not only are they terrible conversationalists, all they have to offer is “wisdom from beyond the grave.” Like I’d ever have any use for “wisdom”… Pharmaceutical reps pretty much suck too. What … Continue reading

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The Hook’s Mini-Guide To Hotel Sex.

In retrospect, using the words “mini” and “sex” in the same title may have been an error in judgement on my part… At any rate, now that I’ve covered the general rules of travel, the next logical step is to … Continue reading

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The Hook’s Definitive Rules of Travel.

I’m going to keep this brief, because let’s face facts, our society has become conditioned to switch our focus every ten seconds… I’ve already lost you, haven’t I? Oh well, for those of you who are still here, we’ll jump … Continue reading

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Overheard In The Hallway…

Sometimes all you need to do is cut to the chase… And let the blogging chips fall where they may. Here’s a snippet of dialogue I was privy to this week as I made my way past a room with … Continue reading

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Monday Morning Wisdom From The Hook.

Yes, technically, it’s Tuesday. No, you aren’t so hungover that you slept through Monday. Again. And no, you haven’t fallen into an alternate dimension where super-intelligent dolphin overlords keep a restless human populace calm by eradicating things they hate, like … Continue reading

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