Don’t Bother Trying To Bridge The Generation Gap….

You’ll miss out on all the fun!

Take my life for example: I deal with plenty of older folks and they never fail to amaze me with their resilience while simultaneously dismaying me with their stubbornness. I recently served an older couple (let’s call them Adam and Eve, they were that old!) who injected some sorely-needed humor into my day.

Our Front Desk seems to unintentionally place the most “weathered” guests in the tower that is farthest away from the parking area, which results in a journey akin to the one Moses led his people on lo those many years ago.

Seriously, there are times I regret not carrying a defibrillator with me as I trail behind some of these folks. The couple in question was a credit to their generation though; they made the trip without clutching their chests or hacking up a lung! I unloaded their suitcases, which appeared to be “Samsonite mark 1″s and when it came time to tip me, the fun really began…

ADAM: Here you go, Boss! (At least he was current with his lingo!) I know this is a big tip, but you earned it, pal!

I shoved the five Canadian dollars deep into my pocket as I stifled my urge to burst out laughing. Eve, however, refused to stay quiet.

EVE: Honey, that’s not a lot of money these days!

ADAM: Sure it is! Five dollars is a lot of money here in Canada, right, Boss?

I wanted no part of this battle, but life is too short to sit on the sidelines, right?

THE HOOK: Every dollar I make is appreciated, believe me. That having been said, five dollars is not a lot of money on either side of the border, sir. It used to be, you could buy a full dinner, two acres of land and a team of horses with five bucks, right?

Eve nearly passed out from the bout of laughter my comments brought on. Adam just shook his head, ate some crow and gave me another five dollars.

The perils of the generation gap became evident in my personal life as well when I sat down with my daughter for some “quality time”. For us, television provides some great moments – and conversations. In this case, the season premiere of Glee afforded me the opportunity to be one of the “cool Dads” who shares his child’s sensibilities and interests. Most fathers would kill for that opportunity.

Be careful what you wish for.

English: The title card for the musical comedy...

English: The title card for the musical comedy series Glee (Fox). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Here is a snippet of dialogue from the premiere that put me on the hot seat, to say the least. For the uninitiated, Glee is a drama about thirty-year-old high school students who dance and sing their way through life’s trials while having wild and crazy sex off-screen. Discussions concerning said sexual encounters, however, are definitely played out on-screen.

As one of the female leads laments her sadness at her girlfriend’s (Yes, there are two lesbian cheerleaders on Glee! Can you tell this is a Fox show?) departure from high school she also mentions her frustration with the limitations of cyber-sex:

BRITNEY: It’s hard making out over Skype.

After four seasons, this wasn’t enough to phase my daughter. But this was…

BRITNEY: You can’t scissor through a webcam.

I steeled myself for the inevitable question that soon followed.

MY DAUGHTER, SARAH: What did Britney mean by “scissor”?

In retrospect, my answer wasn’t enlightened or hip, but it was honest.

THE HOOK: I know, but I’m not telling you!

POSTSCRIPT:

For those of you who aren’t as enlightened as me – meaning, if you haven’t been a teenage boy with access to porn – here is a quick primer on the term “scissor”, courtesy of Answers.com:

The term scissor, which if often used as verb (scissoring), is a sex position between lesbians. It is generally shown as two partners interlocking their legs with their heads 180 degrees apart while their vaginas are touching. In practice, the torsos of the women are often closer together, to the point of being close enough to kiss.

You’ve Been Hooked!, your home for sexual education on the ‘net…

TIME FOR OTHER BUSINESS..

A shout-out to my newest blog buddy, Kristen Lamb and her best-selling tome, We Are Not Alone: The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. Give it a try, folks. You won’t be disappointed…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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61 Responses to Don’t Bother Trying To Bridge The Generation Gap….

  1. Tim Rueb says:

    You must have some great comebacks collected in your library now.

  2. wherethedaytakesme says:

    Oh is it that time of the season to have that kind of talk lol.

  3. mairedubhtx says:

    I have been enlightened.

  4. munchow says:

    Maybe if you used that defibrillator you don’t bring along, you would get old people to understand the value of today’s money. But seriously two acres of land for five dollars? Which part of the world are we talking about – no matter what time in history? Anyway, thanks for the sexual education, who knows it might come in handy one day?

  5. jlheuer says:

    I’m sure your daughter found the answer later from Mr. Google ( sex education made easy)

  6. raisingdaisy says:

    LOL Gotta love those old people – at least your aged gentleman was trying to be generous! My grandfather still swears that heating oil was 36-cents a gallon *last year*……. 😀

    I love that you have such wonderful bonding times with your daughter. Someday she’ll look back and realize just how great a dad you are to sit through Glee with her every single week. 🙂

  7. well I’ll be jiggered…I did not know that! it’s surprising what you learn on WordPress

  8. Jo Bryant says:

    Old people are wonderful even when they are a bit of a pain though aren’t they !

  9. jumpingpolarbear says:

    Those cold war generations are something else :).

  10. Jennifer says:

    And so they become the scissor sisters.. Lmao… Sorry, really bad pun, but i just had to do it. 😀

  11. I, too, have been enlightened. Thank you, Hook, for adding a new definition of “scissors” to my vocabulary. (although not knowing it until you explained it rather ruined the joke for me….)

  12. renxkyoko says:

    When I was in Europe, I actually thought of you, Mr. Hook. I wonder what Mr. Hook would think of this……I didn’t get to tip the hotel staff…. at the hotels we went to, there were no bellmen… and we didn’t even see the folks who brought our luggage to our rooms. But we did tip a lot… waiters, gondoliers, local tour guides,serenaders, etc. etc. In fact, it was kind of mandatory to tip our tour director and driver 10 Euros a day ( about $12.50 ) each person for 27 days. Even my 14 year old cousin had to set aside that amount everyday. I guess the tour director took care of everything at the hotel..

  13. leah says:

    You learn something new each and every day. I’m laughing so hard. You are a better person than me by watching Glee. I just can’t…seriously, no tv. But the thought of another show with 30 y/o high schoolers is so reminiscent of the old 90210.

  14. I must admit had my daughter asked, I would have explained the term. This may be why she doesn’t ask. I gues I am grateful that topics are out in the opena nd not he “closet” anymore, but I must admit that I’d like my kids to actually stay kids longer than society today allows them.

    Ahother great post Hook.

  15. Funny, my dear Hook… Sarah will ‘grow up’ soon enough..!
    And more’s the pity… They grow up too fast as it is…..
    Loved Adam and Eve… Old folks do the darnedest things… Too sweet.. 🙂

  16. Jennifer says:

    Oh, and my education is so much the richer for reading this. I asked my 16yr old if he knew… He read and went, “hmm” Now he says he has to look it up, to get a ‘visual’, Lol.

  17. LadyBlueRose's Thoughts Into Words says:

    I am going to enjoy following you through your thoughts
    Take Care….
    )0(
    ladybluerose

  18. TBM says:

    I’m looking forward to getting older so I can really start saying what I think. Not all of us are as brave as you dear Hook!

  19. becca3416 says:

    I recently started watching Dawson’s Creek (I know I am a little late to the party). It would be interesting to investigate how high school TV series have changes in ten years. But, I don’t watch Glee.

  20. susielindau says:

    Hahaha! How did I live without that important knowledge? Thanks for sharing Hook! 🙂

  21. Fiona says:

    Your elderly couple sound lovely but not like they get out a lot these days!
    And I wish I could undo being enlightened… never will see a pair of scissors the same again ..

  22. Yea, book. Yea, jolly remarks with old guys
    But the important questions: do you sing along with Glee? And how do you get those songs out of your head afterwards? ( Really great you take time to watch with daughter)

  23. Kat says:

    Entertained and educated 🙂

  24. Lol! I was wondering if you were actually going to be explain was scissoring was, but oh yea, you went there! As per usual, always a giggle when I come to visit.

  25. Madhu says:

    Lol! Thank you for enlightening me Hook 😆

  26. giselzitrone says:

    Lieber Gruss mal von mir wünsche dir eine gute glückliche Woche Gislinde

  27. valleygirl96 says:

    Yeah, I watched about 15 minutes of one Glee episode with my 12 year old daughter before shutting it off and suggesting we go finish reading her Nancy Drew mystery novel. Generation gap for sure!

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