I have just spent the last seven hours slugging luggage for the traveling public… All the while, I’ve had to deal with their baggage as well. My efforts have led me to one conclusion: people are capable of reaching great heights.
But I don’t meet those people often enough. For example, a woman just approached my desk…
DISMAYED TRAVELER: Hi! Just wondering if there was trolley we could borrow to bring our stuff up! (She waves one of her arms back and forth to signify the movement of a cart.)
THE HOOK: We can come right out and help you. We’re a full-service property.
Her face contorted; it appeared as though I had just murdered a puppy before her eyes! Seriously, she almost wept. She slowly moved back and slithered away, the look of defeat etched into her eyes.
I weep for humanity….
TOP TEN REASONS TO BUY THE BELLMAN CHRONICLES
10. YOU WON’T HAVE TO LEAVE YOUR HOUSE TO LAUGH AT OTHER PEOPLE.
9. IT’S CHEAPER THAN BEER AND THE CHEAP GLUE BINDING WILL STILL GIVE YOU A BUZZ.
8. TWO WORDS: NO VAMPIRES!
7. THE AUTHOR IS SO POOR, THE PURCHASE COUNTS AS A CHARITABLE DONATION.
6. IT DOES NOT CONTAIN FIFTY SHADES OF ANYTHING.
5. IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF TO READ ABOUT SOMEONE WHO IS REALLY SUFFERING…
4. THERE IS NO MATH REQUIRED.
3. YOU DON’T HAVE TO TIP YOUR BELLMAN AFTERWARDS.
2. THERE ARE NO RACIAL OVERTONES…EVERYONE GETS MADE FUN OF.
1. ITS CHEAPER THAN TAKING AN ACTUAL VACATION.
- The Bellman Chronicles Goes “Live” – At Last! (youvebeenhooked.wordpress.com)
- #111: The Most Terrible Invention in Human History… (thebookofterrible.wordpress.com)