I have just spent the last seven hours slugging luggage for the traveling public… All the while, I’ve had to deal with their baggage as well. My efforts have led me to one conclusion: people are capable of reaching great heights.
But I don’t meet those people often enough. For example, a woman just approached my desk…
DISMAYED TRAVELER: Hi! Just wondering if there was trolley we could borrow to bring our stuff up! (She waves one of her arms back and forth to signify the movement of a cart.)
THE HOOK: We can come right out and help you. We’re a full-service property.
Her face contorted; it appeared as though I had just murdered a puppy before her eyes! Seriously, she almost wept. She slowly moved back and slithered away, the look of defeat etched into her eyes.
I weep for humanity….
TOP TEN REASONS TO BUY THE BELLMAN CHRONICLES
10. YOU WON’T HAVE TO LEAVE YOUR HOUSE TO LAUGH AT OTHER PEOPLE.
9. IT’S CHEAPER THAN BEER AND THE CHEAP GLUE BINDING WILL STILL GIVE YOU A BUZZ.
8. TWO WORDS: NO VAMPIRES!
7. THE AUTHOR IS SO POOR, THE PURCHASE COUNTS AS A CHARITABLE DONATION.
6. IT DOES NOT CONTAIN FIFTY SHADES OF ANYTHING.
5. IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF TO READ ABOUT SOMEONE WHO IS REALLY SUFFERING…
4. THERE IS NO MATH REQUIRED.
3. YOU DON’T HAVE TO TIP YOUR BELLMAN AFTERWARDS.
2. THERE ARE NO RACIAL OVERTONES…EVERYONE GETS MADE FUN OF.
1. ITS CHEAPER THAN TAKING AN ACTUAL VACATION.
Related articles
- The Bellman Chronicles Goes “Live” – At Last! (youvebeenhooked.wordpress.com)
- #111: The Most Terrible Invention in Human History… (thebookofterrible.wordpress.com)
You've Been Hooked! 
Now that’s great marketing, my friend. 🙂
Let’s hope so! I’m drowning here people!
But some people are capable of obtaining great light: light and humorous reading!
(PLEASE: it’s a puppy – He’s holding the puppy, people! Buy the book and make him put it down!)
Good advice, folks…
Ummm…. maybe it is that the coffee hasn’t kicked in yet, or that I am just naturally slow. But why did she look defeated? I’m confuzzled!!!
I still think that “50 shades of grey” book are based on the various shades the human body turns when it dies.
She was defeated because she couldn’t get her own bell cart; she wanted a cart NOT a bellman? Can you imagine?
Buy the book people…. if only to keep this man in the comfort that he has become accustomed to. And please make a donation to the dogs of the world – there’s probably one in that Dismayed Traveler’s room being tied up with masking tape to elude the Bellman as he wheels it out in his thingamajig, trolley, you know, one of the wheelie things…!
Scary… but probably true!
Ok, I ordered the ebook for my iPad. Reasons #10 and #4 hooked me right away… no pun intended.
No problem! I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
You won me over with number 6
I had a feeling…
Huh. Strange woman. I don’t even want to know what’s going on in her head.
LOVE your Top Ten list! David Letterman’s got NOTHING on you! LOL! 😉
I’m no Dave, but thanks!
No. 11 It’s a good read.
You’re right, I missed that one!
YOU ARE SO FUNNY! I wish i hadn’t missed ONE DAY of your posts. Alas, i am a slithering human … one who WANTS her own little, rolly, trolly, thingy FOR FREE! (Arms flapping … sobbing as i watch another puppy bite the dust) … AAAAAAAAAAA!
Thanks for giving all your readers great laughs.
You’re welcome! Thanks for reading!
This has some good ideas…especially about youtube
http://publicityhound.net/promote-an-ebook-26-ways/
and check this one too…you do need to look at getting more reviews for it…good reviews drive a lot of traffic…especially if you pick the right reviewers who have large audiences
http://www.stepbystepselfpublishing.net/index.html
Thanks again Jo! You’ve been an invaluable ally – and friend!
She is indeed!!! When I get closer to finishing my book, I think I’ll be seeking out advice from Jo. Good luck with the book Hook!
A cart over a bellman…unbelievable. I have to think, though, when I last stayed at a hotel that was full service. Hmmmm. I suppose I am missing out. Although, I never need a cart. I travel light, even with kids. My kids would love to ride the cart, though. Do you give rides to children? I would tip for that. 😉
I’ve let a few kids relive “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody”, its true… Kids feel like royalty when they ride the cart!
LOL. What a drama queen.
Indeed…
Don’t you know that for certain women a bellboy offering full-service is their worst nightmare?
I do now!
Best (and hilarious) top ten list I’ve seen in a while! I may have to make my first charitable donation ever. No, wait, I totally gave those car wash kids on the side of the road a dollar. Go me!
You’re such a humanitarian, Becca…
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