10 Things In 10 Days: #9.

More bellman bitchin’, served up hot and ready for your dining pleasure, friends.

#99: Travelers Who Develop Instantaneous Amnesia.

While I’m perfectly willing to acknowledge how difficult it can be to keep one’s head above water financially these days, if you’re going to travel, don’t do it halfway. If you can’t afford to travel, if your trip is going to put you in a debtor’s hole… stay home! But if you’re going to leave your driveway, have fun, don’t pinch those pennies until your fingers cramp up. Go for it, you cheap bastards!

Sorry about that. I deal with a lot of cheap brain dead people on a daily basis. People like this chick…

CHEAP CHICK:  Can we have a cart, buddy? We have too many luggages to carry!

ME: We’re a full-service hotel, miss. I can send a bellman out to your car to collect your bags if you like. 

At this point she began to twitch like a duck on a hot plate. Then she reevaluated her entire existence – or at least certain facts pertaining to her existence. All of the sudden, the mere notion of paying someone to assist her became more terrifying than the prospect of a Trump presidency.

CC:  Well… let me just see how many luggages we have…

ME:  But a moment ago, you had too many bags, I’m sorry, too many “luggages” to carry…

CC:  Uh…

She then spontaneously combusted. The fire department arrived. There was ash all over my desk so the lobby maid had to break out the Shop Vac. There was a formal investigation. It was a whole thing.

(Actually, she accepted my help in spite of my smartassery and even tipped me. But that’s a boring conclusion so forget I mentioned it.)

But at the end of the day – or rather, at the end of my shift – I accept that cheap people have a role to play in the world. I just wish that role didn’t exist in my story.

See you in the lobby, kids…

giphy

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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8 Responses to 10 Things In 10 Days: #9.

  1. List of X says:

    Actually, if you’re going to pinch pennies, it’s much more effective to pick a different hotel or a motel where you could get a room for less than half the price.

  2. Paul says:

    Fun post Hook. In fact I usually do just open up the wallet when on holiday. I’ll tell you what though, some hotels and some service establishments take advantage of this good will and will screw the traveler as often and as much as they can. For instance I made a long distance call from the Best Western ( a higher level brand in China) in Beijing to Ottawa one evening. I could have just dialed direct but instead had the switchboard route the call for me. I expected a reasonable service charge of as much as $10-$20 dollars for the service rendered. My wife was upset when i called and the call went on for an hour. When I got the bill it was $600 for a call for which I would have paid $200 if I had dialed direct. Yep, they charged me $400 to route the call. To avoid embarrassment at blatant gouging of visitors they structured the charge so they had phone rates of x dollars per minute for each area called – as if they were a phone company.

  3. Tara says:

    It’s the plight of many in hospitality. Sadly, there’s at least one every night.

  4. curvyroads says:

    I wish you had video of that spontaneous combustion… 🙂

  5. Archon's Den says:

    Lose all the money over at the Casino – no problem.
    Give a bit to a guy who’s working to support a family – then the tight assholery begins. 😳

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