A young man died this week.
That’s the cold, hard truth. On the surface, he was simply a name and a picture in a newspaper notice to some, and a statistic and a number to others. But to those who loved him, he was a bright light whose glow can never be offset by comforting words or cherished memories. Their light will be forever dimmed by his loss.
The grieving process is endlessly fascinating to me; the devastation that death brings unravels our lives in an instant and sends us scrambling to comfort one another. We spout the same lines over and over, “He’s in a better place. He looks so peaceful. He’d want us to carry on.”, they’re all a part of the social convention we’ve been programmed to adopt.
Life is a raging river, and if we stop and stand still we may be able to feel it coursing by us, but by failing to flow with it we negate its majesty.
If the dead could speak to the living one final time, I like to believe one word would resonate the loudest…
What a touching post and gives us something to think about.
Thank you, young lady.
I’m scared of death 😦
I don’t blame you, but don’t let your fear get in the way of living.
We were all born dying. All we can do is live in between.
Interesting view. Well said, sir.
Your post s incredibly moving and you write with such eloquent emotive power.
That is one of the greatest compliments of my life! Thank you, young lady.
The clichés irritate the hell out of me too.. and I would agree that ‘live’ is pretty high up on the list…
Since my mom died, I’ve been careful to say only, “I am so sorry” when someone tells me of a loss. I understood people were coming from a place of kindness when they’d say, “She’s at peace now” or “She’s in a better place,” but it was still hard to calm my instantaneous face-punch reflex. Say something real, not scripted, I’d will folks to say.
This post and its conclusion are both excellent reminders that, sometimes, the greatest truths are expressed in few words. Living that truth is what I’ve striven toward in the wake of my mom’s death. I can’t undo what she suffered, but I can continue making her dreams come true by seizing my own dreams and making them reality.
I’m sure your Mom is very proud.
Pure. Simple. Elegant. Beautiful.
Beautiful words to think over. Even though the topic is a tough one. Bravo.
At the moment… this post is my favourite post of yours.
What a great compliment! Thanks, Woman.
WOW….Such a beautiful post…..I have no words.
You found more than enough!
I concur. But even the trite, tried and true responses are really just the way uncomfortable bystanders do their best to communicate that they care for you… but nauseatingly uninspired, I agree…Live. It’s really all we’ve got in this life.
You’re absolutely right.
It’s a funny thing about scripted lines. Some people actually do take comfort from them, though they do often invoke the “face-punch reflex,” as DtCM said above. I agree that “I’m sorry for your loss” is probably the safest thing one can say. Let the mourner fill in the rest.
Losing a loved one is always hard; when the person lost is young, the grief compounds. May his family find comfort in the love of family and friends.
That’s my wish as well.
Yeah…it really is important to make the most of each day, because you never know what could happen.
Absolutely, young lady.
True words Hook, live, for you never know when your last day will come. and your last ever thought shouldn’t be a regret… xPenx
No, it shouldn’t.
Beautiful post, mr. hook. Really makes you appreciate and love those still living, and of course, those who are no longer with us. Thanks for sharing. x
You’re most certainly welcome, Caroline.
“Whenever someone dies, a part of the universe dies too. Everything a person felt, experienced and saw dies with them, like tears in the rain.”
Read it somewhere…your post strongly reminded me of these words, Hook.
Thank you very much, young lady.
Absolutely profound, Hook! I need not say more.
That’s more than enough. Thank you.
Well, I am glad to you have never experienced anybody dying young in your family. I might be wrong, but the way you wrote this post made me believe that you probably have not.
The reason behind platitudes people say when expressing their condolences is very simple. Nobody gives a f@#& about anybody else’s grief.
Well, you got a post out of it.
Well, there is that!
You know, I stop in every once awhile for amusing anecdotes about nightmare customers and then you hit me with this sucker punch!
Well said and movingly expressed.