After more than decade in the hospitality industry, you could produce belts from my skin. I’ve accepted my fate: to forever answer to an endless stream of douchebags.
Adult douchebags, that is.
Kids are another story entirely.
I was recently greeted at a room by a strong, powerful individual who knew exactly what he wanted from his bellman – total subservience. A seemingly endless list of commands rolled from his tongue as his mother just smiled and occasionally rolled her eyes.
Did mention the guest was eleven?
LITTLE NAPOLEON: Just take these bags here, here and there. Only take the things in this room. Put the cooler on the bottom, and leave the purse and gloves and jacket!
THE HOOK: All right… sir. Anything else?
At this pont he ignored me and began to order his mother around! She launched a series of weak protests, but with the father retrieving the car, she simply resigned herself to her fate. His Creator conquered, he turned his attention back to The Hook.
LP: (Picture little hands making descriptive gestures!) Okay, downstairs there is a round room (The Lobby) and outside, there is a road where they bring the cars in…
I had to look away for a moment in order to maintain my composure. All the while, my little thumbscrew continued…
LP: Our car is a tan Tahoe with four doors, the license plate is (obviously censored) and my father will be there waiting.
THE HOOK: And the vehicle’s mileage sir?
That shut him up and sent his mother into a fit of laughter.