Brain-Teasers, Cougars, Wattpad and Bankers…

Another Sunday morning battle has come and gone and the bellmen have emerged relatively unscathed.

Not that we didn’t have our share of scraps, though; there were cougars everywhere today and for some reason they were nuttier than ever…

TODAY’S BRAIN TEASER: “HOW MANY BAGS WOULD YOU LIKE TO STORE, LADIES?”

The question is only exceeded in simplicity by “Are you breathing, ladies?”. And yet, every single group of ladies – whether they had two bags or twenty – simply couldn’t grasp it. These women could recite the contents of every single sex article published in Cosmopolitan since 1985 but they couldn’t take an accurate count while examining their own luggage.

Exposed Nipple on Cosmopolitan Magazine cover from 1976 (Photo credit: DBarefoot)

To be fair, the question seemed to stump everyone (one gentleman was so confused he had to go back upstairs to his room and bring his wife back with him!), but the “crazy cougs” seemed to be especially dumbfounded today.

“Do we really need to tell you that, hon?” was my favorite cougar query of the day.

My response put things in perspective: “I’m not asking your ages or if you’ve remained faithful during your stay, ladies. You’re getting off easy.”

“Not usually!” was the response from another cougar.

The resulting laughter defused the ticking time-bomb of estrogen that was threatening to explode at my desk.

My buddy, Rockin’ Ronnie (a bass player extraordinaire), found himself face-to-wrinkled-face with an especially nutty cougar: she simply couldn’t grasp the check-in process:

• When staying at a full-service property, ask for a bellman.
• Accompany the bellman to your car.
• Tell the bellman which bags you would like brought to the room.
• Give the bellman your room number.
• Go to your room and wait for said bellman.

In case you missed it, “bellman” is the key word here; if this cougar has simply let Ronnie take over, she would have been in her room and rifling though her bags for that “special massage device” in no time. But no. she had to stare at him like a deer caught in headlights. When all was said and done – and it took a while, trust me – she floored Ronnie with this nugget of info: “I’ve stayed here twenty-six times!”

Twenty-six times? And she still couldn’t even grasp the concept of a full-service hotel?

And people wonder why my hair is falling out….

One last thing – as Columbo used to say – Niagara Fall is playing host to hundreds of bankers this week. I wonder what will happen when I get a priest to bless the bottled water in the rooms? Just for fun, of course.

TIME FOR OTHER BUSINESS..

A shout-out to my blog buddy, Kristen Lamb and her best-selling tome, We Are Not Alone: The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. Give it a try, folks. You won’t be disappointed…

CHECK IT OUT!!

ONE LAST BIT OF NEWS…

Some of you have already read this, but my first foray into fiction is now available on Wattpad. If you’re not familiar with this site, it allows writers to post pieces they want to share with the world free-of-charge – feedback is the currency of choice at Wattpad – so although my story is extremely short, I’m hoping people will let me know if I’m on the right track. You can click here or scroll over the pic below…

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