The Hook Misses All The Good Stuff!

Feb. 24, 10 P.M.

A guest approaches the Bell Desk and presents an item to be placed in storage. Nothing out of the ordinary so far, right?

Wrong. So, so, wrong.

The gentleman stored a shotgun.

Yes, a shotgun. He walked through our lobby at ten o’clock on a Friday night carrying a shotgun without eliciting a reaction from anyone. Not only that, but our doorman directed the guest to one of my colleagues who simply gave him a tag and sent him on his way.

He never returned.

The worst part?

It was my day off!

Fate, thou art a fickle bitch, sometimes.


Some dillweed thought to himself, “Hey, I’m in a hotel room so why not conduct a little experiment: let’s see the effects of releasing the contents of a fire extinguisher in an enclosed space, namely, my room! Oh, and let’s conduct this experiment at 3 A.M.”

And so he did.

Then reality set in, the fire alarm activated, the authorities arrived and the nutty professor decided the honorable thing to do was run for the hills. Unfortunately he failed to remember a few penitent details…

  • Neighboring rooms heard the resulting racket emanate from his room.
  • The fire extinguisher was still in his room.
  • The room was in his name.
  • His car was still in valet parking.

And the most important detail of all…

  • He was too much of a douchebag to ever pull this experiment off in the first place.

Of course, this little episode occurred while I was tucked away in my bed and so once again, Fate denied me access to “the good stuff'”. However, I’m still able to share and so the whole sordid affair wasn’t wasted.

Oh, and two young, raunchy hookers just walked by…

HOOKER #1: (To #2) So how’d it go last night?

HOOKER #2: Lousy! He wanted me to do “you-know-what”! (Mouths words I couldn’t make out from my desk – unfortunately!)

HOOKER#1: So? I’ve seen you do that!

HOOKER #2: Yeah, sure… but not for him!

This was a subtle reminder of just how memorable my shifts are, regardless of their lack of shotgun-toting guests and mad scientists.

Maybe Fate isn’t so bad after all.


Niagara Falls Comic-Con 2012

June 9. 2012 10 A.M – 7 P.M.
Scotiabank Convention Centre
Niagara Falls. Ontario. Canada

For full details, click here, fan boys and girls!

Related articles

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
This entry was posted in Hotel Employees, Hotel Life, Humor, Life, Postaweek2012, Social Commentary, Travel, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

81 Responses to The Hook Misses All The Good Stuff!

  1. It amazes me the things people think they can just do in a hotel, sorry you missed much of it, but glad you were safe at home. Did you have a happy birthday?

  2. mairedubhtx says:

    You get some odd guests.

  3. sonsothunder says:

    As long as the guy with the shotgun wasn’t secretly looking for the “Hook”..
    Everything went well.

  4. El Guapo says:

    Not sure why you’re upset you weren’t there for these…
    Tucked in bed sounds like the best place to be when these folks come out.

  5. susielindau says:

    You were still able to tell the tale! The guy who bolted must have a screw loose. Oh hey, there is a Monday morning pun for you!

  6. Millie Ho says:

    You should make your life into a comic book. I’d collaborate!

  7. twindaddy says:

    It’s still sometimes amazing just how stupid people can be.

  8. The Hobbler says:

    Okay, now I’m suggesting it…you really need to start selling alcohol and hookers Hook. You know that is what most of your guests are either on or wanting to be on.

  9. Maybe the professor studies clowns? (and has been with them too long?) Where do all these people go when they aren’t checked in there? (scary thought)

  10. Melissa Cryder says:

    So this guy was really a professor? or simply a nut who decided to blow white foam all over the place? Thank heavens for hookers. Cheer up … soon they’re be more guns and ammo marching through the lobby (maybe on their own) to amuse the hook!

  11. jlheuer says:

    I see your tweetin’ too. Geez Hook, you do it all. I can barely keep up with the blogs I read.

    • The Hook says:

      I just started tweetin’ to help build a following for my upcoming (Hopefully0 book, The Book of Terrible!
      Hopefully it pays off!
      But you’re right, it’s hard to keep up a grueling blog readin’ schedule, isn’t it?

  12. ridafatima says:

    hehehe….a scientist can not choose hotel at least to perform experiments…. he was stupid one… but its good that you are safe…. hooki! 😉

  13. Lily says:

    Haha I love thinking of the thought process of the guy that pulled the fire extinguisher. What must it be like to just feel inclined to do whatever you want, whenever you want?! haha

  14. mizqui says:

    Wow! I think we should get a reality show going for you HOOK. I bet we could get a good viewer following on your daily tales alone. You are a hoot and your job is so befitting. Very interesting. I’m still HOOKed baby. I’m also filming, so…. Qui Films

  15. Jo Bryant says:

    OMG…I needed the total belly laugh this one gave me this morning…thank you Hook !!!!!!!

  16. ahhhh – terrible weekend to pick to decide I’m too busy to read my favorite blogs !
    Hookers, guns……that’s it, I’m never skipping a day again!

  17. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    ‘Fate thou art a fickle bitch’ – 🙂 That totally made me smile. I just can’t believe the things these people do! An extinguisher… and I so love the way you write it “and he decided to do this experiment at 3 am”. You’re so funny Hook. It’s always great visiting. My life aint so bad after all!

  18. Woman says:

    LOL!!!! But just imagine how many of your co-workers feel the same way when you talk about your nights and days working???

  19. dogear6 says:

    Wow, such timing you have! Don’t buy any lottery tickets.


  20. Why, oh why, would you think that emptying a fire extinguisher was going to be a good idea? That took some brains there. You sure he was not mixing some sort of illegal substance in his room and his disguise was “scientist”

  21. kewsmith says:

    So funny. Well the gun is a little disturbing. Thanks for a good laugh.

  22. Who got to keep the shotgun??? (Can you get it for the boys who will inevitably chase after your daughter?)

  23. Raven of Leyla says:

    Tell me it isn’t true, you didn’t miss all that good stuff LOL

  24. Smaktakula says:

    Nutty professor AND douchebag. Too awesome.

  25. Val says:

    I’m sure Fire Extinguisher Guy rocks in his world
    and it’s nice to see that hookers really are there for each other…
    just like in Pretty Woman!

  26. raisingdaisy says:

    Wow those are two wild stories! I can’t believe they actually let a guy carry a gun into a hotel – that’s scary crap, man!

  27. TBM says:

    I love hearing about stupid people. I don’t like interacting with them much, but I like hearing about them.

  28. 3guys1movie says:

    That bit about the fire extinguisher was funny. Same thing happened when I was an RA at college. I ended up actually pulling the fire alarm because I thought the building was on fire because their was so much smoke in the hall. Your job sounds like fun.

  29. Deborah the Closet Monster says:

    You know, I seriously don’t get how you don’t have that sitcom already. I guess it’s just a matter of your getting the book out first, eh? But this shit is gold. Seriously. I cannot wait to watch this all on a screen.

    And, OOOH! Comic Con! 4.5 months till SDCC! YES!

  30. I kinda sympathise with that guy who let off the fire extinguisher. I’ve always wanted to see what happens when you do that. Now at least, he knows.

  31. You have such a wonderful way with words… even the simplest things sound awesome under your fingers. Hope your birthday was great, I think I missed it in here somewhere.. 🙂

  32. Hilarious! I’m glad the gun was only stored and that you were miles away from it (even though I know you’d want to have been there)… Fire extinguisher man… duh!! Where did he run to, I wonder?? But, I think you got to hear the funniest conversation of all…”yeah, sure, but not for him!!” I wonder if she was talking about her husband??

  33. dinkerson says:

    I just can’t understand why the guy did that. I mean everybody’s heard that old mantra, “it’s all fun and games until somebody pulls a fire extinguisher”.

    Lol. Ah yes, the hookers. Your work is starting to remind me of my own. Strange, I know.

  34. jennygoth says:

    not bothered about the fire extinguisher id rather know what the hooker was up too lol have fun hook xxjen

  35. Androgoth says:

    Yes you have to watch out for some of those guests Hook,
    as some scream all night long I have heard them on my holidays
    you know? this isn’t right, that isn’t right… You know the type
    only too well I think? Oh… I bet you thought that I meant something
    else there? Well those types too 🙂 😉 lol

    Have a great rest
    of evening Hook 🙂


  36. Now this was a hilarious post, you describe it as in the comics, liked it very much!

  37. Pingback: #152: People Who Still Think Being A Geek Is A Bad Thing! | The Book of Terrible

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s