Travel Tips, ‘Cons, and Fun With Moms And Dads!

Let’s begin with a Travel Tip, shall we?


Always remember.. YOU’RE ON VACATION!

Be prepared to spend money on items like food, and I don’t mean dry goods like bags of chips or boxes of cookies to hold your kids over for the week! Unless you’re staying in a motel with a kitchenette, you’re going to have to purchase food for your family.

If you’re staying in an actual  hotel – with say, a thousand rooms – you’re not expected to bring copious amounts of food with you.

That having been said, let’s get to the heart of today’s matter.

I head out to a mini-van (Of course!) and meet up with Dennis the Menace‘s father (Get thee to Google children!) and he begins to bypass The Hook and attempts to load his cart himself. After a few plastic bags drop to the ground, he surrenders to his limits.   

I can’t really blame him, he had…

  • Five bags of food. Chips, cookies, bread, etc.
  • One cutting board!
  • A large “old-school” cooler with a metal clasp.
  • Several small appliances.
  • A bag of butane gas cartridges.
  • And even some actual luggage!

Finally, he asks one of those questions which, in my skilled hands, becomes a straight line…

CHEAP-ASS DAD: Where’s a good place for all this?

THE HOOK: (Without missing a beat.) Your home, sir.

Reeling from the sting of my dry Canadian wit, he simply stood there a moment, his hamster barely moving on the little wheel deep inside his Yankee brain.

CD: Oh, I get it! Yeah, the wife packed all this stuff, so you know….

THE HOOK: I understand, sir.

CD: Is this a record, though?

THE HOOK: Sadly, no it isn’t.

He chuckled some more, gave me the room number and sent me on my way. Without a tip, of course. I arrived at the room a minute later, where his wife and daughter took a good look at the cart and exclaimed in unison…



Niagara Falls Comic-Con 2012

June 9. 2012 10 A.M – 7 P.M.
Scotiabank Convention Centre
Niagara Falls. Ontario. Canada

For full details, click here, fan boys and girls!


About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
This entry was posted in Hotel Employees, Hotel Life, Humor, Life, Postaweek2012, Social Commentary, Travel, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

81 Responses to Travel Tips, ‘Cons, and Fun With Moms And Dads!

  1. susielindau says:

    It takes all kinds Hook and you get them all!

  2. ~mimo~ says:

    loved reading this! Your humor is phenomenal 🙂

  3. littlesundog says:

    I like these travel tips… you need to begin posting more of these since tourist season is just around the corner!

  4. Pingback: Travel Tips, 'Cons, and Fun With Moms And Dads! | You've Been … | travelBug

  5. raisingdaisy says:

    Well we can’t expect the guy to own up to his own stupidity now, can we? 😉

  6. Scriptor Obscura says:

    Ha! This is a great one, Hook, as always. Your sense of humor is impeccable, and your comedic timing is excellent. You always seem to come up with the most witty and appropriate lines at JUST the right moments. I guess its a well-developed sense that comes as a function of coping with the job, eh? 🙂

  7. Isn’t the purpose of a vacation to get away from all that? Eat out. Enjoy the regional food. Be waited on (and tip profusely in appreciation for the service). In other words, so spoil oneself and family.

  8. twindaddy says:

    Sounds about right. Stupidity is everywhere. There is no escape.

  9. Isn’t part of the fun of vacation not having to cook? Why bring the kitchen along? Might as well stay home and pretend you are at a hotel.

  10. mizqui says:

    He (C.A. Dad) was so busted. lol!

  11. sonsothunder says:

    Great post as usual…

  12. brainvomit40 says:

    Damn cheap Yankees.

  13. Hilarious!! I’m embarrassed to admit I also point my finger at my husband and blame him when he’s not around!

  14. Hook cracks me up everytime.

    Mr. Bricks

  15. Val says:

    Nice one Hook! I think DTM and Gnasher would have a field day with CAD!

  16. ridafatima says:

    uxorious man… 😉

  17. aFrankAngle says:

    LMAO …Great wit …. and I’m still laughing.

  18. iamnotshe says:

    Hook, you really said, “your home, sir”. Oh, c’mon, drop the sir!!!! The guy brought Star Market with him, or Stop and Shop, or Jewel … what do you guys have up in the Nor-east?

    HILARIOUS!!! Thank you for making me LMFAO!!! ok then.

  19. mairedubhtx says:

    When I go on vacation, cooking is the furthest thing from my mind. I don’t understand people who bring their entire kitchens with them to try to save a few bucks and have mom still cooking a poor dinner in the hotel room. I go on vacation to be pampered. That means to have someone else cook food for me and make up my room and park my car, realizing that I will pay for those services. Some people have no sense.

  20. TBM says:

    I always forget my cutting board.

  21. El Guapo says:

    At least the guy was smart enough to get the joke…eventually…

  22. Ok, so I have a confession, I take boxes of pop tarts and bags of chips and fruit snacks galore whenever we travel because no matter how many times we stop to eat, these dang kids are ALWAYS hungry! 🙂

  23. renxkyoko says:

    ” Where’s a good place for all of this ? …The home , sir .”

    Ahahahaha !

    Just like my Mom ! ! She brings coffee pitchers, throws ( just in case ), chips, sandwiches ( 3 different fillings ) bags of Snickers, peanuts, water, sodas, homemade cookies and muffins, macaroni salad ! ! !, Veggies with dips,, etc …. these are what I remember the last time we went on a long trip, ( an 8 hr. drive )

  24. Jo Bryant says:

    Hahahahah…your butane comment reminded me of spending time in transit in Libya and watching people trying to load all manner of things at check in…butant included. Yes on an aircraft…I had forgotten that episode. Thanks for reminding me.

  25. I’m betting they spent just as much “stocking up for vacation” as they would have otherwise. The butane is a bit un-nerving…

  26. The Guat says:

    This was awesome! “Your home, sir.” Classic Hook 😉

    Although I have a confession…as a mom I bring snacks with me whenever we travel, but maximum two bags. However we have shame…we leave them in the car and bring them up ourselves in the dark of night 😉

  27. Blaming the wife for bringing stuff from home, not a good move.Getting busted for it…priceless!

  28. Smaktakula says:

    Another winner!

  29. giselzitrone says:

    Wünsche dir ein schönes weekend lieber Gruss und einen schönen Tag Gislinde.

  30. jlheuer says:

    Hey, what’s with the shameless promotion of Comic-con? You just going or are you part of the madness? I will have to send the link to my brother-in-law who lives across the border in North Tonawanda.

  31. Woman says:

    You’re a nut!!!!!

    My sister travels the same way. When she travels she brings so much stuff because, “just in case the power goes out we have something to cook our food with”. Hilarious Mister The Hook!

  32. Blaming it on his wife…of course! I have been known to pack a hefty snack pack in my time though, so I would get blamed on our vacation.

  33. munchow says:

    The slow-moving hamster brain actually brought butane gas cartridges? Was he suppose to cook his meals in the room? And, yes, blaming the misery on his wife, that’s a low one. Hopefully he got your dry Canadian sarcasm and will do so next time…

  34. if im on your blogroll list try clicking there . always as somehow wp has messed up and got deleted old site tied in with new one can you let me know if it works from your blogroll xxjen

  35. Kim says:

    Are you going to the comicon? 😀

  36. I’m always stunned by your answers. It’s exactly the kind of humour I like and want to have myself. (Some claim I do have it, but maybe they are not very reliable 🙂 )
    You rock, Hook.

  37. lol! im definitely going to keep these in mind next time I travel 🙂

    thanks for the share

  38. Smaktakula says:

    Nice to know that Clan Hook travels light!

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