Ever Wonder How The Hook’s Day Begins?

Not my actual day at home, but my “labors” in the hospitality field.

It is five past eight in the morning as I peck these words out to you and I’ve already spent ten minutes wiping down the handrail leading down into the basement punch clock. I punched in and was noted by the hotel’s security staff with a nod. Then I headed to my locker, pulled it out (my uniform, you perverts) “suited up” and headed upstairs to the Bell Room, also known as the Back Room, the Luggage Room and That Place Where The Bellmen Hang Out And Do Nothin’.

From there I made my way to the lobby where I witnessed this little bit of family drama between an exhausted mother and a far-from-exhausted- six-year-old daughter. 

EXHAUSTED MOM:  I don’t care how many times you ask…. you’re not getting cotton candy before breakfast!

CRAZY KID:  (In other words, a kid on vacation.)  I WANT MY COTTON CANDY!

Then she began to cry. To be clear, it started out as a series of sobs then it became an intermittent cry and finally, a wail worthy of a Viking battle cry. All within a minute.

EM:  I don’t care how much you cry, you’re not getting that cotton candy yet! And if you want I’ll really give you something to cry about!

A classic.

Followed by another classic.

CK:  But I’m already crying you stupid bitch!

There was half a dozen people in my section of the lobby, a dozen more including staff in the other lobby and a few folks milling about outside on the Valet Deck.

They all stopped.

Silence reigned.

Until I gave voice to what everyone was thinking.

“With all due respect, miss… that was awesome! I mean, you can’t see it now, but trust me… you’ll get it. Eventually. Maybe.”

From the look she gave me… I could tell she wasn’t going to get it in my lifetime. Which, by the way, looked it was going to end any second. I can’t wait to see what else the day has in store.

See you in the lobby, kids…

giphyMy apologies, but this was too good not to share.

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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29 Responses to Ever Wonder How The Hook’s Day Begins?

  1. I believe I will stick to starting my day at home with coffee, while I meandering around the house deciding whether or not I should dust.

  2. Paul says:

    Jumped right into the day, you did.

  3. lisaorchard1 says:

    That poor mother! I feel her pain, and I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with that with my kids! Phew! They’re older now and past the point of screaming in lobbies. 🙂

  4. I think the child had it right. That classic threat actually holds no terrors, does it? Mind you, any child of mine demanding candyfloss before brekkie? They might never find the body

  5. robincoyle says:

    “I’ll give you something to cry about” is a parental classic. I am happy to say that even tho my mom used it, those words never came out of my mouth while parenting our girls. Such restraint!

  6. Allie P. says:

    That poor mom. So many witnesses…

  7. Tara says:

    Sorry, not sorry. That poor mom just got served. I have learned (the HARD way) that to continue to engage with said child is a recipe for disaster. Learning to say no once, and mean it so that the child never asks a second time – is an art form that is lost on so many of us today. (And to be honest – I’m still learning.)

    As for “taking it out” – your uniform is waiting for you at work? Or are you responsible for the cleaning and care? (These are the little questions that keep me awake at night.)

    • The Hook says:

      I have two uniforms that I take home to clean when they begin to move about on their own, Tara. In the meantime, I leave them in my locker.
      Sleep well…

  8. Marion Hardy says:

    You know me as a MM fanatic and we tweet on Twitter. I have been following you but if you would please follow back because I love your tweets and miss a lot of them. I know you are busy but if you get a chance to do this I would really love it!! Thanks for always being so encouraging. Hope Chelsea is or ogres sing well.

  9. Hysterical. Loved the gif. (scared me)

  10. I’m with Tara. The monster-child is screaming for her cotton candy because Mom has succumbed to her tantrums many times before. Ugh, bad parenting hurts everyone: the child, the parent, and most especially, the bell hop and onlookers. But as your child/monster photo shows, there is NOTHING scarier than a spoiled unhappy child….

  11. curvyroads says:

    Oh. Em. Gee. Future serial killer…

  12. Snort.
    Maybe they have a cat carrier they can stuff that lovely child into for the ride home….

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