Not my actual day at home, but my “labors” in the hospitality field.
It is five past eight in the morning as I peck these words out to you and I’ve already spent ten minutes wiping down the handrail leading down into the basement punch clock. I punched in and was noted by the hotel’s security staff with a nod. Then I headed to my locker, pulled it out (my uniform, you perverts) “suited up” and headed upstairs to the Bell Room, also known as the Back Room, the Luggage Room and That Place Where The Bellmen Hang Out And Do Nothin’.
From there I made my way to the lobby where I witnessed this little bit of family drama between an exhausted mother and a far-from-exhausted- six-year-old daughter.
EXHAUSTED MOM: I don’t care how many times you ask…. you’re not getting cotton candy before breakfast!
CRAZY KID: (In other words, a kid on vacation.) I WANT MY COTTON CANDY!
Then she began to cry. To be clear, it started out as a series of sobs then it became an intermittent cry and finally, a wail worthy of a Viking battle cry. All within a minute.
EM: I don’t care how much you cry, you’re not getting that cotton candy yet! And if you want I’ll really give you something to cry about!
Followed by another classic.
CK: But I’m already crying you stupid bitch!
There was half a dozen people in my section of the lobby, a dozen more including staff in the other lobby and a few folks milling about outside on the Valet Deck.
They all stopped.
Until I gave voice to what everyone was thinking.
“With all due respect, miss… that was awesome! I mean, you can’t see it now, but trust me… you’ll get it. Eventually. Maybe.”
From the look she gave me… I could tell she wasn’t going to get it in my lifetime. Which, by the way, looked it was going to end any second. I can’t wait to see what else the day has in store.
See you in the lobby, kids…