She’s a side-splittingly funny gal and she’s bursting at the seams with life.
What else is there to say, really?
Okay, so there are a few more things, I suppose. Let’s get to them, shall we?
For me, her comedic brilliance is best encapsulated in a single paragraph from her award-winning blog. (It’s at the top of the FBI cyber division’s “Blogs to Watch” list.)
I started What would Nadia do? after a night of dry humping champagne bottles and sweet talking a hat stand. As I make the best decisions when my liver is in a state of decomposition, I visited WordPress, ready to rehash tales of expat loneliness and my search for identity. It would be a deep and meaningful blog, brought together by just the right combination of margarita misery, Celine Dion facial expressions and toilet bowl wisdom.
But as with most writers of quality, Nadia has her dark days…
But these last two months, I’ve been fighting another bipolar depressive episode, which sadly renders my mind as empty as Martha Stewart’s sex toy collection. My depressive episode has also inspired me to create a new mental health blog, Heavy Mental.
WWND’s big sister was born out of a need to live and blog authentically. I have never openly talked about how mental illness has deeply affected my life, both positively and negatively. I want to give the silence around mental illnesses the finger, help others and kick stigma where it hurts. I hope you love it as hard and repeatedly as I do.
Told you she was brilliant. And she’s human. I like that. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wish depression on anyone (well, okay, the Kardashians and Bieber, but that’s it), but Nadia has taken her challenges and used them to help others, while maintaining her upbeat outlook and continuing to make others shoot milk out their nose. (She did it to me and I wasn’t even drinking milk at the time. Weird, right?)
But enough of this sappy shit, I work for a living so I’m knackered. Take over, Nadia, won’t you?
1) If you had to pick an action star to be your spirit guide, who would you choose?
I’d rather do a cavity search on Dick Cheney than sit through an action movie, but I’d channel Anton Chigurh in No Country for Old Men when the impulse strikes to go all Cell Block H inmate on that guy in the Volvo’s ass. Instead of frothing at the mouth and head-butting the steering wheel, Anton would flip a coin, deciding whether to splatter his victim’s remains over the interstate without ever changing facial expression.
And did I mention that Anton is played by Javier Bardem? Sigh.
I’m gong to give Nadia a moment to compose herself before we continue…
2) This feature exists to shine a positive light across the blogosphere, Nadia: What do you turn to when the darkness becomes to dense to ignore? (Ice cream? Friends/family? Blogging?)
Ten years ago my post-dump prescription included Alanis Morissette, three-for-ten-dollar Shiraz Cabernet and cheese on everything. For days when I’d rather be toiling in my feather-lined queen-sized home office, these are still my go-tos, except that I sometimes drink from a glass and prefer a hit of Patti Smith or The Rolling Stones these days. Throw in a couple of friends and some serious booty clapping, and my ladyballs are swinging again.
I love this Stones cover from Patti – the best of both worlds.
Oh, and also this.
Let’s take a shower together.
3) Pretend you’re in a hardboiled detective novel/film: What would your character’s name be? (For some reason I can picture you as an old-time gangster’s moll. Although, you’re no one’s possession, I bet you’d look good done up in an outfit from that period. Yes, my mind is a strange place.)
Hook, you know me too well. As I drooled over Boardwalk Empire like I would over my third cheesecake or a pantless Javier Bardem, I would be a 1920s gun moll solely for the outfits. But because I’m not afraid of getting my flapper dress dirty or ruffling my Marcel wave, I’d join my gangster man as Penelope Pistol Pumper.
4) What’s the best thing about being Nadia? (’cause you seem pretty cool to me.)
Look at you making me blush like an 11-year-old in sex ed.
Besides the fact that I can guzzle five gallons of Häagen-Dazs in under five minutes? Most of the marriage proposals waxed lyrical about my way with cuss words and jerky twerk, but being Nadia means there’s always an excuse to grab a bottle of Discount Liquor’s finest, round up a few friends, grab my crotch to a cheesy 90s number and stuff my cakehole with trans fats. I like to lighten the mood and make people laugh. Can you tell?
5) Your favorite fairy tale character is…
My brother-from-another-mother is Dopey from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
On a good day, the most balanced thing about me are my hormone levels. Some days I’m surprised that I haven’t worn my crotchless panties as a crop top or tripped over my balcony railing. Even my couch has more wine stains than Lindsay Lohan’s liver, and I once nearly called a locksmith to open my neighbor’s front door after an hour’s key-turning and my best police kicks.
I blame all of this on medication.
I want to thank today’s
victim guest for being such a cool, insightful subject and for being a pleasure to “interview”. I don’t know about you, but Nadia’s given me plenty to think about, so you’re on your own.
See you in the lobby, kids…
Doesn’t like action movies, shame! But I can handle the rest, especially showering with that monster jar of Nutella, hmm. And Nadia is one of my all time favourite names, (so bonus points).
Yay for bonus points! Do I get Nutella?
Absolutely! As much as you like.
Hook, you are on a roll. Nadia is one of the best, and a great commentor (did I spell that right?). Look forward to more posts from her. I don’t fully get the Javier Bardem love though…. I think Old Country has me freaked out for life now. I mean, he’s ok and all… Nadia, if you’re reading, you should really talk to Art at PMAO about Dick Cheney and cavity searches, I think he would have a lot to say on the topic.
By the way, that Discount Liquors lines… this is why Nadia rocks. Who says that stuff????
Trent, my ego has just splattered all over keyboard. Seriously, thank you.
And having a convo about Dick Cheney’s cavities? I’ll get another med prescription first.
You can just borrow one of Dick’s pills. He’s got a wicked good stash, or so I hear.
I’ll definitely have some of the backdoor crack he’s having.
I love Nadia! I’ll be the Clyde to her Bonnie any day.
Rachel, I love you too, and not just because you have bacon.
PATTI FUCKING SMITH
That is all.
Hell FUCKING yes.
That video popped up in my reader and I jizzed all over myself.
Again, that is all.
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Thank you Nadia, for the much better picture of Javier that is on my front reader page.
And ditto Samara: Patti Fucking Smith! ❤
You are so welcome, my lady.
Here’s another one: http://movies.mxdwn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/javier-bardem-pic-ap-675784209.jpg
I’ll give you two some time alone…
Muchas gracias, mi amiga!
Hook, I feel honoured to be at your posse for the day. You are one of the first bloggers I followed, and hell FUCKING yes. Thanks so much for the shout-out to the new blog as well. Your support means much, my friend. Now I’ll celebrate with a bit of Nutella. Excuse me for a while…
Have fun, you two!
We did. He wants to have another round this morning. Insatiable.
I suddenly feel exhausted and in need of. Cigarette. I used to want to fantasy fuck Alanis Morissette! Why so angry, Alanis?? Anyway, Nadia rocked balls already, but this has put her over the top for me. Love getting to learn more about these people like this. Lazy man’s stalking. Maybe.
Thank you, Don. You can stalk me any day.
Here’s something to keep you busy in the meantime: http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/OOgpT5rEKIU/hqdefault.jpg
Nadia is one of my favorites and you captured her so perfectly, Hook! Any girl that guzzles ice cream and showers with Nutella is a friend of mine 🙂
I would like to leave a deep, heartfelt comment about Nadia’s wisdom, her sense of humor, and how my life has changed more from reading her blog then from seven years of studying Tom Vu’s real estate system.
But instead I’m going to figure out how to make showering in Nutella a reality.
And? How did it go?
But oh so rewarding…
It is. Every single time.
Hahaha brilliant stuff! Great post, love you my awesome friendy ♡ Hey we should catch up soon and have a few giggles sipping on my mango cocktails 🙂 Best interview I’ve read in a while… whooza!
Heart you hard, my dear. Hook is an excellent blogger, and I feel humbled to stain one of his blog pages.
Fabulous interview of the twistedest blog sister of them all.
I love Nadia because, well…Penelope Pistol Pumper
Nadia gives me a serious girl boner. Her writing is sexy, crass and honest. I may be a new fan but I will definitely be a loyal one. And this is kind of weird but I always assumed Javier was Denny in Grey’s Anatomy and he was one of my all time favorite characters but it’s some other guy! Now I don’t know what to do. My day is ripped at the seams.
Hilarious! Not an action flick fan? That’s too bad. We will help her save her soul one day though. As for a Nutella bath, well, that may be a little sticky…
Have a good day today you two! I’m off to a running start myself.
Javier Bardem and Patti Smith? Nadia has impeccable taste. I have a “Gun Moll” outfit she can borrow.
I might take you up on that offer… And anyone who is a fan of Patti and Javier shoots the shit in my book. Nice to meet you!
Totally impossible to be that funny in that few words. Seriously. I feel like you may have worked some Long Island Medium on my aura.
You go, blog grrl.
(P.S. I’ll never see Javier Bardem in the same way. Ever.)
Long Island Medium. Now you’ve made me laugh so hard I accidentally farted.
Nadia, I salute your:
a) Alliteration – “Penelope Pistol Pumper”
b) Fashion sense – “I’m surprised that I haven’t worn my crotchless panties as a crop top”
c) Unification of interior design, popular culture, and biology – “Even my couch has more wine stains than Lindsay Lohan’s liver”
This was a fun one. Thanks for the smiles.
And thank you! So good to meet new peeps here at Hook’s.
It is indeed a fine meeting place here at Chez Hook.
Nadia. Whyyyy you no post? It’s mean. It is!
Do you remember when they tried to market Nutella as a “healthy” snack spread? It’s a jar of chocolate frosting.
So you’re telling me it’s not a health snack? Oh. Oh boy.
Soon, I promise. And thank you, I need these kicks up my arse once in a while. Blogging is so much fun, and I don’t make enough time for it.
Well, that’s the rub, innit? Blogging IS fun, but it’s terribly time consuming. Between posting, reading and commenting, it’s a wonder I get anything done. It can suck the joy out of it.
Great post Hook! Nadia sounds amazing and now I have to go check out her blog 🙂
I recently discovered Nadia myself. With one of my empty champaign bottles (which you can keep now, Nadia.) I still consider it a great day because, as you so thoughtfully pointed out: Her writing voice is unique and truly hilarious. Plus she eats Nutella out of the jar, which is always the sign of genius in my book.
Beautiful AND funny – a dangerous combination Nadia. You can crotch grab to 90’s music and stuff your cake hole around me anytime x
We would be a deadly duo, you and I.
We should catch up for a wine soon x
Most definitely!! Drop me a line when you’re keen. xxx
“Na-Na-Na-Nadia’s Nutella” should be Ben & Jerry’s next special ice cream flavor.
I’m officially in love with you Nadia. 🙂
Good stuff, Hook! Nadia is awesome!
Christy, I would wife you and then some. Now you’ve made me think of that naughty Nutella – it can never get enough of me.
You know just the right questions to get to the core of these bloggers you interview! Another wonderful read and a recommendation that I will be enthusiastically taking to heart!
Nadia and I have recently been getting to know each other, but I should add that she’s also an awesome commenter in the heat of expat controversy and haters. You know what I’m referring to right, Nadia? 🙂
I got you, gurl. Can’t wait to read more of you! I discovered you because of this very feature of Hook’s…
This was a piece of work, Nadiaaaa?!! Thanks for being there.
Thank YOU! With every compliment my ego grows bigger wings.
Good, hope the wings don´t get to heavy and you can keep on flying.
It is a tribute to Javier’s intense desirability that his role in No Country didn’t make me want to quit him.
I agree with my entire vagina. Even as a raging serialkillerlunatic, Javier still makes my heart pump.
You have inspired my vagina to start agreeing with things, too. Consider your life’s work complete.
Hi Nadia! Nice ot meet you – Hook’s good at introductions. I’ll bop over and check out your site. Great interview!
Nice to meet you too, Paul! This was a fun one to answer…
Your medication – you’re referring to Nutella, right? Be careful, though, those 400 gram pills are really easy to overdose on.
Of course. By the sounds of it I need my stomach pumped…