She’s on a journey of self-discovery and she wants to tell you all about it.
In her own words:
I am a professional businesswoman living in a big city. I’ve just experienced a milestone birthday. The turbulence in the last 2 years in my life – involving open marriage, affairs, divorce, a sexual reawakening, and online dating – has inspired me to put some of my thoughts and experience on “paper”.
Unlike many recently divorced women, I am not bitter or angry at my ex. I’m not using a dating coach (yet). I’m not looking to replace my husband and get re-married. What I am, after a 15 year almost totally sexless relationship, is very keen on fulfilling every physical desire I have. So far, so good. I’m also a mom to a young child – and my ex and I share custody of him. So life is fun and quite messy and I’m just figuring it out as I go along.
Everything here is true and my first hand experience but the names of those I mention have been disguised to protect the guilty. Enjoy.
And I have so far. The truth is, I stumbled upon Ann’s blog (do yourself a favor, empty any and all fluids out of your system, and click on the link, gang), last week while I was moving across the blogosphere like a drunken frat boy looking for flapjacks at three am. She has since become my favorite mistake. So while I don’t know very much about her, I know she’s earned her place here.
And her blog header is pretty damn cool too…
But I’ll let you make the final judgement.
And since this 5×5 installment is centered on a lifestyle blogger who focuses on the wild ‘n wonderful world of dating, I thought I’d let Jessica Alba extend the official kick-off. (I stand by my decision. Shut up.)
1) Your blog is chock full of raw honesty about your love life; what’s the best part about sharing your ongoing sensual journey with the world?
Writing is therapy for me. I started to keep a diary when I was a little girl, and I stopped right at the point that my ex first broke my heart. It was at that point that my gut and my brain took different paths, and it was a long time for them to get back together again. So the best thing about sharing my journey is that it is helping me process what I’m going through. I’ve been trying to approach all of this with humor and humility, and some of the experiences I’ve had I find ridiculous. Writing them down helps keep me honest. I can stare at the words and know that “yup, I should dump that guy”. What I didn’t expect when I started writing was that anyone would pay attention – so hearing from other people, reading other stories, and feeling a sense of relief that I’m not overly crazy has also been awesome!
(As the saying goes, Ann, we’re all mad here.)
2) How do you lift your spirits when the world attempts to drag you under with its patented brand of madness?
I’m generally a pretty happy person. I’m exceedingly fortunate that I love my job and I’m financially secure and my ex isn’t a complete douchebag. Although he’s only with me every other week, my son is a constant reminder of how awesome life is. If I’m peeved when I go to sleep because some dude isn’t texting me back, but my small person crawled into my bed in the middle of the night, and wakes me up at 7am telling me that the quetzalcoatlus dinosaur was one of the largest flying animals of all time (true!), I mentally decide to forget the non-texting-dude and give all my mental time and energy to the person in my life that means more than anything else.
(All together now: Awww! Seriously, that was sweet and honest, right?)
But at times I need other spirit lifting methods. I like to drink and eat with friends. I write. I stay in touch with people who have known me a long time and who can remind me I am fine, and will be fine. I love to dance and I’m still looking for a guy who likes that as well. As you will know from reading my blog, I love to have sex. I occasionally lament to some close girlfriends and my Mom that my dating life sucks. Even the friend I’ve written about in my blog reminds me that by anyone’s measure, I’m getting laid a LOT. My married girlfriends tease me for saying I “only” have three guys in rotation. My Mom reminds me to be patient with myself and to enjoy the journey. She’s pretty smart about this stuff; she went through it as well.
3) If you could be any sci-fi character (of any gender or race), who would you choose?
(Yes, I’m a hopeless nerd, but I’ve had sex, so I don’t feel completely beyond hope.)
Assuming I can choose a “live action” character, it would be Dana Scully, no question. I am a huge X-Files fan (I have the whole series on DVD…but prior to that I taped every episode on VHS). She is fucking awesome. She got to hang out (and sleep with!) with Fox Mulder. I like her character because she’s smart and fit and can hold her own with all kinds of crazy characters – of this earth and not of this earth.
4) What’s the best thing about being a mom?
A bit of back story before I answer this. I never knew I wanted children. I wasn’t one of those people who talked about when I was having a child…it was always if. (It was the same with marriage as well). I wasn’t a women who, when seeing a baby, would immediately want to hold it. I could kinda take-or-leave other peoples children.
My ex wasn’t that different, but we decided together that we would like to have a child. We were lucky that it didn’t take very long for me to get pregnant, and I had a great pregnancy – I was in suits and heels until right before I left for my leave. All that to say, I didn’t have any of the emotional or physical scars that can come with a journey to have a child.
Best thing? That I can raise a child to do and be all the things that I was never able to do and be.
I see being a Mom as the ultimate responsibility as a person – to raise another person and send them off into the world armed with the skills and attitudes to survive, thrive, and make it a better place. I’m not raising my son in my image – I don’t see him as a vehicle to meet my unmet needs. What I’m really enjoying right now is watching his personality shine, seeing how he works out problems, and finding the ways I can encourage his development, his big brain, his curiosity, and his kindness. This age is an amazing time – he is still innocent and believes in magic. I’m still cool and a welcome companion, and it’s the best thing to see the world through his eyes.
Oh and it’s great to have a little kid to take on roller coasters for the first time, stop on the street to talk about the trees and worms, and teach how to twirl pasta.
5) What’s the perfect date movie? (A chick flick like Bridget Jones? A comedy? Pirates with Jesse Jane?)
I love all movies, so I will watch anything, really. It’s one of my favorite things to do if I’m alone at home at night (when I’m not writing). Wine and popcorn are must-haves, by the way. Last time I sat down to watch movies (not including porn), I watched Blue Jasmine, Vertigo, and The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. Eclectic, like my men.
The perfect date movie for me would be a movie I see in a theater. Preceded by dinner and drinks. With a man and no children in attendance. In other words, a real date. For some reason, real dates have been elusive. The kinds of movies I prefer to see in theaters are those that benefit from the big screen and great sound…things like action and sci-fi. Not horror… I don’t like those anymore. Definitely not a chick flick…I don’t need something romantic or sappy to get me in the mood.
I swear I won’t wipe out this year! Let me walk the red carpet!
So here’s what we’ve learned about Ann today, friends: She’s sweet, sassy, sexy, intelligent and a devoted mom. That’s good enough for me. Welcome to The Hook’s cyber-hotel, Ann. Allow me to take your bags and show you to your room.
As for the rest of you, see you in the lobby, kids…