Selena Gomez (Soft) Rocked Hamilton!

After years of denying her requests, VampireLover and I acquiesced and granted our daughter access to the wild and wonderful world of rock concerts.

She found it quite enlightening to see watch Ms. Gomez on television in the morning and see her take the stage in the evening. I found it enlightening as well, although my take on the whole affair obviously differed from hers. Just getting to the venue alone was an experience!

First we had to wage an internet battle to snap up decent seats that didn’t require a second mortgage. The credit goes to Glee Girl – as she likes to be called – for this one, as she logged onto Disney’s Family Channel website and snagged her seats days before the general teenybopper public and at a price dear old dad could live with.

I love that kid.

So we headed out on a Saturday night, tickets in hand and fought the snarl of traffic in front of the venue to secure our plum spot in the underground parking garage. Fortunately, VampireLover was in charge of our itinerary and her sense of timing allowed us to avoid waiting outside in the cold. We did, however, spend some time in line throughout the night.

First there was the line to the swag table, where we decided to divide our forces, with the girls fighting for a t-shirt, while The Hook hit the concession line. But first I had to snag a program. Easier said than done, considering every vendor was sold out, except for the guy positioned at the entrance, which was one floor below my position and flanked by hundreds of arriving kids and shell-shocked parents!

Did I mention I love my kid?

• $160 for 3 tickets. (Actually a great price! Seriously.)
• $100 for dinner before the show.
• $20 for parking.
• $25 for a program.
• $40 for a t-shirt.
• $65 for a hoodie.
• $10 for a flashing light stick. (I guess lighters are really old school!)
• $9 for 1 Pepsi and some cotton candy.

Don’t get me wrong, seeing Sarah’s face light up before the show even started made it all worthwhile. Still, I don’t intend to revisit the whole financial aspect of the event. Ever. VampireLover was still in line when the show started and this little wisp of a girl ran out onto the stage to perform a Rhianna cover.

GLEE GIRL: Who the heck is this?

THE HOOK: You’re asking me?

Christina Grimmie is a product of the YouTube Pop Singer Factory, although she doesn’t bring anything new to the table, she did inspire a great exchange between father and daughter. After finally introducing herself, Grimmie shared her bio with the crowd, including the fact she’s been posting on YouTube for two years.

GG: Two years?

THE HOOK: Does that seem like a long time to you?

GG: Oh yeah!

Instant fame is a product of the times; we have that screeching horror known as Rebecca Black to thank for that.  Grimmie was followed by Shawn Desman who encouraged the crowd to hug their parents, no doubt to thank them for sacrificing their hearing and financial well-being. It was strange to see the really young kids singing along as Desman as sang of “sexy girls and rockin’ the club’ but he put on a great performance, so I think I’ll save my criticism for the headliner.

The lights dimmed, the screaming rose to a fevered pitch. and the singer who is currently more famous for letting Justin Bieber jump up and down on her than her own body of work, took the stage. Right off the bat you could see Gomez is an “artist” in transition; her performance and background scream J.Lo, her outfits scream Shakira, and her fans just scream.

Speaking of her outfits, Sarah’s only critiques were purely fashion-focused.

GG: Do you see her outfit?

THE HOOK: I’m trying not to!

Honestly, Gomez’s breasts are such a prominent fixture on the stage I can only assume they have their own dressing room. Nevertheless, she sounded perfect – too perfect, in fact – and she worked the crowd like a seasoned Disney-trained pro. She even paused the show to deliver a “heartfelt” show of gratitude for her fans’ devotion. “I remember being the little girl in the nosebleeds.” she says, her words accompanied by a teary-eyed expression. She then recalled her first concert as a spectator and the profound impression it left. The emotional outpouring concluded with a tribute to the headliner of that first concert, Ms. Britney Spears.

I have to admit, I was extremely shocked that a Disney-owned product – and make no mistake, Selena Gomez has a “Property of Disney” stamp somewhere on her form – would be allowed to pay tribute to a fallen pop idol. Then again Spears started as a Mouseketeer, so they probably share the same tattoo.

Bucking expectations, there was no “surprise appearance” by Justin Bieber – they’ve been traveling Canada in true rock star style –  although eagle-eyed fans could spot the pop sensation with the lesbian haircut whenever the back curtain was drawn open. Still, no one appeared to be disappointed by the final product. It was cute to see Sarah’s expression when Selena left the stage without performing two of her biggest hits, “Who Says” and “Magic”.

VAMPIRELOVER: She’ll be back. It’s called an “encore”.

GG: Are you sure?

Sure enough, Gomez returned and gave her audience one last thrill, complete with confetti cannons. She actually enlightened The Hook in the process. Even though some critics have labelled the song unoriginal and tepid, “Who Says” has become an anthem for kids who feel weak and unloved by the world at large, specifically by their peers. You could actually feel the pure joy emanating from these children as they sang along and danced their little hearts out.

Selena Gomez may be as artificial as NutraSweet, but anyone who can make my daughter smile so hard her face hurts is making a positive mark in the world, and you can’t ask for more than that.

Related articles

• PHOTO: Selena Shows Off Sexy Abs During Concert (huffingtonpost.com)
• Justin Bieber Talks Love With Selena Gomez Shows Off Shorter Haircut Video – Watch Now! (binsidetv.net)