Previously on You’ve been Hooked!…
- It was the Holiest of Days and the Gates of Hell had been blown wide open.
- The inmates were running amok in the asylum, but they were tipping well so I kept my cool, although my wife would disagree with my assertion that I ever had any “cool” to begin with…
Moving on, as the morning wore on tempers began to flare, and while such meltdowns are par for the course, even I find myself amazed by how things sometimes pan out…
- There were over seven hundred check-outs on this particular day and six bellmen on duty; sooner or later, we were going to be overwhelmed. Again, this is par for the course. One gentleman took exception with the standard fifteen-minute wait; as he was voicing his frustration, however, I was able to arrange for his car to be delivered, race upstairs, load his bags and come back down before he was finished ranting! He was beside himself, which only served to raise my stress level as I now had two jackasses to deal with…
- My next guest had it all figured out: he was going to “load the trolley his way so his shit stays put!” After Shakespeare was finished I tried to caution him about disregarding the advice of a professional (and yes, I meant myself!) but he wasn’t listening. “I know the best way to pack my own shit! I could do this job blindfolded!” As we were unloading his bags into his F-150 (you knew this guy was a redneck, right?), Brainiac realized his laptop was missing; it soon turned up – underneath his cooler. My response? “For the record, sir, if I had loaded the cart that way, I’d probably be fired.” I took my $5 tip and headed out while his Southern-fried brain was still processing this turn of events.
- Continuity is important: you can always count on a drunken guy to drop a case of beer or wine at least once on a Sunday. As for the girls, they usually throw up in the closest garbage can – or behind their friend’s car. This week’s winners, Jane “I swear I’m not a drunken slut – usually” Doe and John “In my defense, she’s really great in the sack – when she’ s conscious, that is!” Doe. Jane began to dry heave on John who immediately dropped his case of beer – in front of his friend’s car. I have to give them points for originality, right?
And that was my latest Sunday. And yes, I’m still sober, nor do I pop anti-depressants like candy… Take care, folks.
TIME FOR OTHER BUSINESS..
A shout-out to my newest blog buddy, Kristen Lamb and her best-selling tome, We Are Not Alone: The Writer’s Guide to Social Media. Give it a try, folks. You won’t be disappointed…
CHECK IT OUT!!
My first foray into blogging minimalism, 1,001 Reasons Why Steve Sucks… is up and running. Give it a look-see, will you?
ONCE UPON A TIME… A NEW FAN PAGE WAS BORN!
It must run in the family. The Hook’s daughter has developed a taste for sci-fi/fantasy and so she has launched her own Facebook fan page for the ABC drama Once Upon A Time.
Fans of Once Upon A Time is a labor of love – and it shows. Check it out: fans of Tom Welling – and I know there are quite a few of you out there – will be pleased to see he’ll be making an appearance this season.
The bottom line is this: my daughter wants to rack up as many “likes” as she can, so help her out, okay?
- A Sunday For The Record Books… (youvebeenhooked.wordpress.com)
- Want To See The Hook on Steven and Chris? The Hook Does… (youvebeenhooked.wordpress.com)
- To All Things An Ending… (thebookofterrible.wordpress.com)