An Elevator Ride With The Hook…

You never know what you’ll overhear…

A prototypical middle-aged couple recently decided an elevator – filled with departing guests – was the perfect place to discuss their child’s artistic leanings:

BEWILDERED DAD: I just don’t get it, (long sigh) what’s wrong with him?

MOM IN DENIAL: Nothing at all! He merely has a vivid imagination!

BEWILDERED DAD: It’s those damn movies you let him watch! Everything’s filled with blood and guts these days!

MOM IN DENIAL: He watches those on his computer when we aren’t watching, dear. All the kids are like him, dear. They all have the same ideas.

Dad was waving one of Junior’s “masterpieces” about; just picture a tribute to Salvador Dali… but really messed up! There was a bizarre dark forest and headless bodies wandering about and a witch carrying a string of severed heads. You know, kid stuff.

BEWILDERED DAD: They may all think like this, but do they put it on paper – and give it to their Grandmother?

Dad took stock of his fellow passengers and decided I’d be a good sounding board…

Bad idea, right?

BEWILDERED DAD: What do you think? Is this normal?

THE HOOK: (After a long look – and careful consideration) This is normal… if you’re David Cronenberg!

Blank stares abounded.

THE HOOK: David.. Cronenberg… (I was sinking fast) he’s a Canadian director. The Fly? Dead Ringers? Naked Lunch?

Director DAVID CRONENBERG of the film 'Spider'...

Director DAVID CRONENBERG of the film ‘Spider’ during the Toronto International Film Festival. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I decided to hit a little closer to home.

THE HOOK: He’s like Tim Burton. But he doesn’t use Johnny Depp for everything!

TOGETHER: (Along with the rest of the elevator) Oh!

THE HOOK: He’s been very successful. Maybe your little guy will follow in his footsteps…

They departed on the mezzanine floor, leaving me with one last opportunity to voice my opinion to a captive audience.

THE HOOK: Or he’ll wind up a serial killer. Either way, he’ll be famous.

Appropriately, that one killed ’em.


Niagara Falls Comic-Con 2012

June 9. 2012 10 A.M – 7 P.M.
Scotiabank Convention Centre
Niagara Falls. Ontario. Canada

For full details, click here, fan boys and girls!

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
This entry was posted in Hotel Employees, Hotel Life, Humor, Life, Movies, Postaweek2012, Social Commentary, Travel, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

91 Responses to An Elevator Ride With The Hook…

  1. wherethedaytakesme says:

    Kids these days…

  2. Jennifer says:

    LOL. shouldn’t laugh, but c’mon. Love your parting shot. πŸ™‚

  3. mairedubhtx says:

    You were very empathetic.

  4. …….at some point all serial killers and Hollywood directors are all children….this was your point, yes???? lol

  5. Well they did ask your opinion. πŸ™‚

  6. raisingdaisy says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHA LOVE that parting comment!!!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  7. The Hobbler says:

    That is funny. Sometimes kids really do scare me though. Even my own…

  8. susielindau says:

    That is hilarious! My brother got into trouble for doodling war scenes in his notebook that included a lot of bloody scenes in red pen. No severed heads though!

    Sounds like the kid got a peek at “Game of Thrones.” God. The first scene I tuned into was filled with severed limbs, heads etc. We turned it off!

  9. Funny! I’d love to have been a fly on the elevator wall… This post is the next best thing. πŸ˜‰

  10. Val says:

    Very funny, Hook! Your Cronenberg name-drop was totally wasted on that lot! πŸ™‚

  11. My son went through a stage where he tried to draw very technically correct images of things like AK47’s and other assault guns. Then his little doodled people would appear holding them, sometimes with blood dripping. Never a dead body, thank goodness, but when my husband questioned it, I said “hey, maybe Smith N Wesson will be looking to expand their advertising department in about 12 years!” I must admit, I’m glad he didn’t send any of these to granny…

  12. I shudder to think how much I’ve missed, not getting your posts thru my reader thingy (why I unfollowed & re-followed…)
    And hey, without serial killers we wouldn’t have shows like CSI or Criminal Minds – gotta look at the big picture here !

  13. lol now if this doesnt make them kill each other…
    you are fun Hook..its always so comforting to know that our kid will be the reasons bodybag sales will go uo again πŸ˜†

  14. renxkyoko says:

    I like the last statement ! Ahahaha ! ! ! great post, Mr. Hook !

    hey, its been awhile …. how ‘s it goin’?

    • The Hook says:

      Pretty good, actually!
      My book should be finally finished by the end of the week and my newspaper column is going well. The family is good and work is… well, you know!
      I hope you’re doing well.

  15. Kinked Slinky says:

    I’ll be adding this to my list of reasons not to have kids….and I thought I had an interesting job !

  16. Caroline says:

    hahahahahah nice closing statement. Sad about the boy, but you’re right, ya never know–could make him famous!

  17. Woman says:

    And the King of Snark goes to…. BUM BUM BUM… Mister The Hook!!!!

  18. Lorre says:

    I love it. My thoughts exactly. You rock!

  19. valleygirl96 says:

    Awesome! I hope you caught that kid’s name so you can say “I knew him when…”

  20. My dear Hook, I saw that movie ‘The Fly’ when it came to the theatre all those years ago and I still wear the scars…. Arrgggghhhhh….. ! Terrified curled up on the seat clutching my companion’s arm… Help…!
    (Change that kid’s life view before it’s too late….!) πŸ˜‰

  21. I hate when people reference someone that is supposed to be famous and I don’t know who it is. It highlights how lame I really am. (most the time)

  22. kat says:

    Yeah, Tim Burton and Johnny Depp need to stop teaming up.
    Though, Johnny Depp instead of Michael Keaton in Burton’s Batman? That might’ve been interesting.

  23. Sharp says:

    lol, sounds like a scene from ugly americans πŸ˜€
    Just to be clear:

  24. habibadanyal says:

    πŸ˜€ a serial killer! lol.

  25. Alli says:

    “He’s like Tim Burton. But he doesn’t use Johnny Depp for everything!”

  26. Loved the Tim Burton comment!
    (And parents never see it coming: “Officer, there was no warning…”

  27. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    Hey Hook πŸ™‚
    I can’t BELIEVE your daily experiences. It is so varied every day – but I love you calling him ‘Bewildered Dad’. Gotta say, I haven’t heard of David Cronenberg either. I’d be the ‘Bewildered Mum’!

  28. mselene says:

    Story of my life! πŸ˜‰ I can’t count how many times I’ve mentioned someone and everyone else says, “Who??” And then when I explain, I’m still met with blank stares. Haha. I enjoyed the story.

  29. Lily says:

    Hahah I think that was a great response. Their kid is probably just neurotic and will totally be talented….with a little bit of crazy mixed in.

  30. royminor says:

    GREAT post, loved reading it, i’m hooked!

  31. I hope the kid doesn’t grow into a seriel killer. Sometimes it’s sad how the world worship violence like it’s nothing, that it’s the norm. It’s easy for kids to be addicted to these kind of shows and games. Some start as cartoons-like but bloody and violent. I knew this cause sometimes, my son would accidentally find a iPhone game up that seems harmless until he starts playing with it. I would tell him, “anything with blood or red stuff and cutting/shooting people is bad.” He would stop it or delete it but after a lot of explanation. Parents need to be vigilant. It’s hard but lets give our kids a chance to find peace and goodness as a cool way to grow up. If they still don’t listen, then those iPads, iPhone and other tech toys have to go. Great post!

  32. Theasaurus says:

    Isn’t it wonderful when people believe they can have wacky conversations in public places and think it’s normal? It’s scenes like this that make work days interesting…and provide great fodder for blog posts!

  33. Karmel says:

    In this film, Cronenberg keeps the absolute mastery with which he manages to portray the characters, in this case X completely hidden thoughts of the main character through it (literally) the rest of us discover people living in a microcosm (you can cross off something linear and less-involving for the viewer than usual the “Cronenberg canon”) is no less true that it has one of the most impeccable achievements of his films, opting for a classical style and unusual in its content cinema.
    A salute The Hool, and A kiss.

  34. Anna says:

    I love elevator talk, it is both terrifying and ridiculous. And this made me laugh- I shall look out for this kid in a few year’s time, either in the fashionable press, or in a ‘young offenders’ speciall on Crimewatch πŸ™‚

  35. giselzitrone says:

    SchΓΆnes weekend GrΓΌsse lieb Gislinde

  36. I came back to re-read this again. It is hilarious!

  37. Jo Bryant says:

    So…when the book sells and you’re famous…aren’t you going to miss these moments ???

  38. mj monaghan says:

    Just plain awesome, Mr. Hook.

  39. granny1947 says:

    Definitely a serial killer in the making.

  40. This is so funny and great.

  41. It’s just boys! But I like your ‘he’ll be a famous director’ line better.

  42. The Guat says:

    That’s funny. “…Or he’ll wind up a serial killer. Either way, he’ll be famous.” Ahhhhhhhh what an elevator ride πŸ™‚ Tim Burton but doesn’t use Johnny Depp. Ha! Depp is in everything, but I gotta say, I love me some Johnny Depp. πŸ™‚

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