You’ve begged, pleaded and in some cases, even threatened, and so I have no choice.
Use the Comments section below and ask me anything, my friends. Yes, it is my turn to be Hooked.
I know many of you have questions that have been burning a hole in your consciousness and so rather than see you wind up a drooling idiot – or a Kardashian – I’m giving you this opportunity to let the inquiries fly at a furious pace. I’ll provide the answers in an upcoming post – or, depending upon the number of questions – in a series of posts.
Here are some sample questions, just for clarification.
1) “Is it true what they say about tall men, Hook?”
(I want to answer, “Hell’s yes!”, but my wife may have a different opinion.)
2) On average, how many hours a week do you spend in HR, Hook?”
3) “Do you actually have both hands?”
I’m going to leave this post up all weekend, kids, so take your time and have fun with it. I have to admit, I am simultaneously terrified and excited. But this should be fun, right?
Right?
The truth is, I’ve been feeling out of sorts lately and so this should be a nice interlude from the cyclone of human suffering that is my life at times.
See you in the lobby and Comments section, kids…
Ooh! I’ll play. What movie title best represents your life?
I would love for you to come by my HR office, we could commiserate!
That’d be fun, no question!
By the way, thank you for not asking an actual question, I’m swamped as it is!
When will you interview more dudes? Oh, I noticed that you have done so previously, but y’know, just sayin’, the ratio is rather low.
Oh c’mon… you know the answer to that! ;)
What? Who’d want to interview me…?
I was more teasing Hook in the vein that he tends to be susceptible to the charms of the ladies. (Duck, Hook! Here comes the frying pan!)
I’ve really gotta buy a helmet, Jennie…
How many times has Ellen (or one of her people) told you to back off?
How large is your comic book collection?
Who is your favorite villain, and why?
What is the average airspeed velocity of unladen European Swallow?
I don’t know that.
There are only a handful that do.
What is the most bizarre thing you have come across in your career?
How old were you when you discovered you were a uhm…”boy”? ha ha!
You ARE a boy…right?? (he he)
Wait…that’s 2 questions! Is that ok? uh..oh.. that’s 3!
1. What is the creepiest thing that’s been left behind in a hotel room by a guest?
2. Should I bribe you into reading my new book with wine, beer, gin, whisky, or vodka?
Which country has the craziest people coming to your hotel? Also, how do you and VampireLover not get jealous/insecure/whatever with her loving vampires, and you hanging out with hookers all day?
Who would play you in the movie of your life?
I was struggling to think of a question but I think Jennie’s has taken care of that for me! Who Hook? Who?
I need to ponder this, so I’ll be back. How come everyone’s been out of sorts lately? I know I’ve been barely human. The moon must be up to something.
Or something.
Snap out of it, Steph!
Oh no wait, I’ve got one. I already know that we are both comic book nerds but… were you ever / are you still a fan of WWF / WWE? If so, who was / is your favourite wrestler?
If you could be a superhero, who would you be? You can invent your own one of course, complete with your own set of powers. What would your outfit be like? (Colours? Cape? mask?)
Also, Morpheus is still dancing. He is waiting for you to bust out some moves. What type of dance would you pick?
Hmm I could ask more I think, but I’m falling asleep here. I hope you’re feeling a bit better soon, less out of sorts. Sending you a hug or two :)
Hugs rule. Thanks, TJ!
Do you have a phrase that keeps popping up like a ghost when you write? A recurring sentence – or word. :-) [Happy weekend, Robert]
Only because it’s expected of me – your favourite sexual fantasy, but this is a family blog, so I probably won’t get an answer. Worth a try though.
Favourite music to 1- rock out to, 2-relax, 3-cook and 4-anything else you do.
1. If you were single, would you sleep with someone famous (assuming the occasion arose and you were at least a little attracted to them). even if you didn’t like their politics (or some similar deal-breaker?), just to say you HAD slept with them?
2. If sexual preference was a non-issue:
a.) Kate Beckinsale or Kate Winslet?
b.) Barbara Walters or Larry King?
c.) Angelina or Jennifer?
d.) Pitt or Clooney?
e.) Adele or Celine?
f,) Pink or Christina Aguilera?
3. Do you realize what you’ve done here?
4. Do you write fiction (I feel that I should know this already)?
Man, am I in for it..
Looks like I’m going to have to write a series of 5×5 With The Hook: The Hook posts in order to cover everything!
Love the questions in the comments here. I’ve finally come to realize I’ve developed a cycle. It WAS: blog quite often, with gaps in between. Now it’s: write about once a month, basically throw the keyboard away, read a bunch of stuff, eventually put a couple overlong comments on blogs (as I did to yours here), because my fingers get the itch to write something, anything, then, maybe, a few days later, write some new material of my own. So my final question to you: Is there anything, other than, of course, the random and continued bizarreness of the hotel public, that motivates you to blog on a regular basis?
What is your earliest memory?
Why does my ass hurt?
Cling on’s?
I’m not sure what to make of that…
what you will?
Why does your ass hurt?
You spanked it?
Uh, no he didn’t.
You sure?
I tried to be gentle!
Sure you did
Oh shit.
Please don’t!
Too late!
GAH!
Best place to stay in the Falls?
Best restaurant in Niagara-on-the-Lake?
Best chocolate shop in Wainfleet?
Best way to alleviate ass-pain?
I hate you, Trent.
ahaha!
Hee hee hee… I’m just a lonely Canadian trying to make his way in southern Ontario, dude.
Wipe better
Good point.
I know right?!
Why do fools fall in love?
How can you mend a broken heart?
Have you ever seen the rain?
What is this thing called love?
To be, or not to be: THAT is the question!
Are you and Trent in cahoots?
I stole his idea. Obviously. I always try to walk in greatnesses shadow.
Well done.
That seems to be my “talent.”
Yay! So happy to see this post today! My question ideas:
If you could start over and pick the life you were born into, what would you choose?
Drop everything and run. Where would you go?
You’re back in middle school with the person who you hated most. What would you say to them?
You’re a cutie pie, Carolyn, but you’re also a taskmaster of the highest order.
If you were not observing in the trenches of a hotel lobby, what would be your ideal observation spot?
Nice one!
Who wrote the book of love?
I hate you too, Twindaddy.
That warms my Imperial heart, Hookeh.
There doesn’t seem to be much more to ask here. Of course there is the obvious…although, I know you won’t answer…which hotel has the honor of paying you for your services?
I’m going to have to give this some thought :) I’m kinda excited!
Have you ever felt like you were meant to be born and live in another country or time period? I think I would have made an excellent flapper :)
Are you an animal person? Dogs? Cats? Monkeys? Oooh, how about finger monkeys?!
If you could do a 5×5 with anyone dead or alive, who would be your choice? And what would you ask them? You should also include what you think their responses would be to your questions!
Is there a song that you feel represents your life?
(Sorry, I’m having way too much fun with this!)
I can tell!
Hahaha :) But that’s the whole idea, right?!
Indeed!
It’s going to take several posts to cover all these queries, though!
Even better! :)
Have you ever been to ComicCon and did you dress up? If so, who did you dress up as?
Oh and one more, would you ever run for public office? Why or why not?
What’s your dream job?
what would you say to Picasso and Einstein if they walked into the Lapin Agile while you were sipping a beer?
Geez, you guys can’t throw me a bone, can you?
You’re determined to challenge me. Well done!
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Hook, I know you have a special affection for Niagara but is there another dream Hotel somewhere that you would love to bell hop in? Red
…and given your weirdness factor, have you ever actually “hopped” when you’ve heard the bell?
Here’s another, not sure if it’s been done – favourite and least favourite food.
What’s the largest tip you’ve ever awarded… to whom… and for what feat of service excellence?
The most annoying aspect of blogging is…
Opening night. The Bellman Chronicles. With a touch of nostalgia and tip of your hat to your behind-the-desk beginnings, you generously invite all of your 5×5-ers to the premiere and put them up in some swank hotel. Who’s swapping keys?
Yay!
Nice work, Britt!
These gems will make it into Part Three of my answer posts. You can expect that this week or next.
Again, well done!
I look forward to your stories… xoxo
Likewise!
Are you a legs, tits or ass man?
Oh my goodness…I WAS under the knife for too long. I almost missed this opportunity. Looks like you have a loooong list of questions. So here’s for Part 5 when you get to it. You can pick 1 of 2.
1) What is your hot button? What person/situation just makes your blood boil?
2) How did you meet your wife and was it love at first sight?
(See, I wasn’t too hard on you!!)
No you weren’t. Thanks!
In fact, I’m so grateful, I’ll answer both questions on Friday!
See you then.
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Man, late as always, and this may have already been asked (and even answered, haven’t got there yet) but which comic book superhero would you be and why?
oops, just read part 1. Asked and answered…oh well. :-)
My weirdest request as a plastic surgeon was for a ‘phalloplasty’ (ha, now you gotta look that up), what’s the weirdest request you’ve ever had in your job?
What do you say about people who don’t tip? Have you ever done anything to stingy guests?
Oh and (promise this is the last one), but I’m just after an insider’s opinion… have you travelled lots yourself? Have you got a favourite hotel? If so, what do you think makes a good hotel?!?!