Let’s start this week off right with a post guaranteed to make you smile while contemplating what to have for dinner, courtesy of Vanessa-Jane Chapman…
Open Letter to TV Chefs Everywhere
Dear TV Chefs
I’ve been unwell for several days and have not managed to do much more than decant myself from bed to couch in the morning, and then back up to bed at night. I have pretty much just watched the Food Network all day, in between bouts of napping, for several days. An odd choice of viewing perhaps when I’ve had no appetite, but having the time to watch so many lovely food shows was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up.
I love your shows, I really do. However, having watched so many of them over the last few days, I have a few comments and requests… read more here:
AND NOW, SOME CONTENT FROM YOUR HOST
Let’s begin with the question that has plagued writers since the first caveman scrawled on a cavern wall: where to begin?
Let’s see…
The renovation madness was in full swing as a couple of construction workers used spray paint in the vicinity of a fire panel and the inevitable occurred.
At 10 a.m.
On Easter Monday.
And April Fool’s Day.
In retrospect, I probably should have suppressed the following statement when speaking with the hotel’s GM: “Well, it’s April 1st, so I imagine we’ll be hearing a fire alarm or two, right?”
On the bright side, I haven’t been to HR since they redecorated…
An hour later I found myself facing a personal revelation.
AFRICAN-AMERICAN GUEST: (Upon opening his door and seeing The Hook for the first time) Oh! You a white boy!
I gently ushered the gentleman aside, walked over to the bathroom doorway and stared at the mirror within for a moment.
THE HOOK: (In my best “vanilla trying to sound chocolate” voice) Daaammnnn!
The following happened in quick succession:
- The gentleman fell to the floor in a fit of raucous, stereotypical laughter.
- His family came out from the far room and shouted”Dad, what’s wrong witchu?
- I considered just how far back this lone family had set an entire race…
In the end they tipped me well, which, as you know by now, is my barometer when it comes to measuring the success or failure of my calls.
Happy Easter Monday/April Fools, folks!
You've Been Hooked! 
There’s too much going on today, with it being Easter Monday, April Fool’s Day, and a Bank Holiday – and it feels like a Sunday! Hope you don’t get to see HR, Hook… at least the man had a chuckle!
He nearly died. It was great!
Well daaaammmmnn you a white boy??? huh, how about that……… 😉
Life is full of surprises, isn’t it?
you silly white boys.
Yep.
I just unfollowed your blog.
April Fools. (I know. Not funny.)
Ooh, Robin’s feisty today!
Today?
Moi? Feisty? Never. Well, maybe a little.
A little?
But feisty is so much more fun than dull.
True. Robin now has my permission to run wild all over my blogs.
Someone once said I was ‘nice.’ I don’t want to be ‘nice.’ I want to be zesty!
Mission accomplished!
You’re nice and zesty. It’s a win win.
Thanks again for the reblog white boy!
You’re welcome, foxy lady!
Daaammnnn, white boy! You’re hilarious 😀
Happy Easter Monday/April Fools, Hook!
And to you as well, partner!
Happy funny!
(it’s sort of “daaaayuuuuummmmm” with the regional accent here. Oh, “didya brang da dokey? No? Howzya gunna unluuck the doe?”)
It’s April – dance wildly without reason!
I’m a white boy.. I can’t dance or jump.
poke you in the ribs and I bet you do…giggle on Hook
I’m trying!
Ha! You finna give that man a heart attack witcho whiteness.
You’re my kinda comic, Katie: intelligent and cute!
Don’t make me blush.
I hope your triple-occasion day was as good as mine over here 😉 and I wish I come drop by your hotel one day!
That would be a great day indeed!
White people is funny.
We sure are!
Loved. This. So. funny. Tickled me a little more than usual this morning ….
Glad to hear it!
(Don’t tell VampireLover I tickled you, though!)
Or my hubby, or that I liked it…
You kill me, Jennifer.
I hope not, I would miss you too much (well your wit and humour mainly).
I’m 50% wit and humor and 50% take-out food.
So you’re funny, and a bad boy.
You know it, baby!
I’ll leave that to your wife. White boy 😉
That’s probably for the best…
I think so.
Oh good grief. You may be white but you are not a boy!
At heart I am!
It’s funny about the cilantro. I don’t know why cilantro is added to almost every dish recipe here in the US. I know it’s common in Mexocan dishes, but I’m not really into it. The taste is too strong and dominates the over-all taste.
I thought I was the only one who noticed.
Hope you had a pleasant April Fool’s Day without too many tricks, Robert.
Overall, it went pretty smooth.
Hysterical! Somehow I see it all playing out and you with such a straight face.
Happy all three!
Thanks, Michelle!
Oh, I can’t help laughing every time I imagine you looking in the mirror…….you are so quick!! Glad the laughs for everyone translated into a good tip!
Yes, it could have gone either way…
Damn, I missed April 1st. I always forget to play a practical joke. Some of us just aren’t funny.
You’re plenty funny!
>AFRICAN-AMERICAN GUEST: (Upon opening his door and seeing The Hook for the first time) Oh! You a white boy!
– People still say things like this in this day and age?
>I considered just how far back this lone family had set an entire race…
– Dunno what the rest of the family did, but I’d agree with that sentence given the way the guest greeted you.
>And April Fool’s Day.
– Oh, man. Got sucker punched. 😦
Kate
Some people fight to keep stereotypes alive, Kate!
Thanks for stopping by. You always leave me with a smile!
Sieht lecker aus lieber Gruß lieber Hook und einen schönen Abend.Gruß Gislinde
Du bringst mich immer lächeln, lieber Freund. Vielen Dank für den Besuch.
Seien Sie gut.
Oh man, thanks for the forwarning of this should put a smile on your face-I was able to put my coffee down before I preceed to read this and bust out laughing! You’re witts are clever and quick!
I aim to please, my lovely friend.
And you please well! No joke, I was laughing for like 10 mins stright. I reassured my cat I’m nuts from this post!
No you di’int!
Oh, yes, I did!
lol…this spring break I mostly watched food network all day lol.
Not a bad way to spend a day…
You know, my dear Hook, here in Oz it’s not obligatory to ‘tip’… I was reminded of you over the Easter break. We were holidaying in a hotel. The service guy was unloading our baggage (lots of it) as we walked out of the lift and along the corridor to our room. He was black, black as the ace of spades. As we approached I said. “Oh good, what great timing this is.” He said as quick as lightning. “Not until you show me your room key.” K produced our room key/card at which time our bellman grinned a huge smile showing enormous white teeth, and a healthy disposition. He bantered on and we couldn’t have been happier with this quick witted fellow. As he turned to walk out I noticed K hand him what I presumed to be a tip. Yep, that man’s attitude earned him a healthy reward…!
Just goes to show what a bit of enthusiasm can do. Bet he earns a whole lot more than most..! 🙂
It takes a lot of work with some guests, but that’s part of the job. Some people – including a fellow author – consider bellmen con artists, but the truth is, its a job that requires a certain skill set and a healthy sense of humor!
I dare say there’s the occasional con artist in every walk of life, however sincerity will always leave us feeling better for the interaction. This is what I believe you do. Just as our bellman had a certain respect for another individual’s need for honest comradery; so do I see you, my dear Hook. I would doubt you could continue doing your work were it not with a sense of enjoyment and self respect.
Feel better. All I can say is at least he was a good tipper.
That makes all the difference in the world!
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Everybody knows you should tip the bellman. It’s universal. Having a bellman who is personable and friendly, and who doesn’t act like it’s killing him to help you with your bags, will always garner better tips. I think you must be a great bellman, Hook. And I’m shocked to find out you are a white boy!! (Thanks for linking to Vanessa’s letter. I enjoyed it!)