Let’s start this week off right with a post guaranteed to make you smile while contemplating what to have for dinner, courtesy of Vanessa-Jane Chapman…
Dear TV Chefs
I’ve been unwell for several days and have not managed to do much more than decant myself from bed to couch in the morning, and then back up to bed at night. I have pretty much just watched the Food Network all day, in between bouts of napping, for several days. An odd choice of viewing perhaps when I’ve had no appetite, but having the time to watch so many lovely food shows was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up.
I love your shows, I really do. However, having watched so many of them over the last few days, I have a few comments and requests… read more here:
AND NOW, SOME CONTENT FROM YOUR HOST
Let’s begin with the question that has plagued writers since the first caveman scrawled on a cavern wall: where to begin?
The renovation madness was in full swing as a couple of construction workers used spray paint in the vicinity of a fire panel and the inevitable occurred.
At 10 a.m.
On Easter Monday.
And April Fool’s Day.
In retrospect, I probably should have suppressed the following statement when speaking with the hotel’s GM: “Well, it’s April 1st, so I imagine we’ll be hearing a fire alarm or two, right?”
On the bright side, I haven’t been to HR since they redecorated…
An hour later I found myself facing a personal revelation.
AFRICAN-AMERICAN GUEST: (Upon opening his door and seeing The Hook for the first time) Oh! You a white boy!
I gently ushered the gentleman aside, walked over to the bathroom doorway and stared at the mirror within for a moment.
THE HOOK: (In my best “vanilla trying to sound chocolate” voice) Daaammnnn!
The following happened in quick succession:
- The gentleman fell to the floor in a fit of raucous, stereotypical laughter.
- His family came out from the far room and shouted”Dad, what’s wrong witchu?
- I considered just how far back this lone family had set an entire race…
In the end they tipped me well, which, as you know by now, is my barometer when it comes to measuring the success or failure of my calls.
Happy Easter Monday/April Fools, folks!