Tag Archives: travel tips

Seven Travel Hacks For Morons.

To be clear, I’m not suggesting you’re a moron if you recognize yourself as someone who needs to follow my guidelines. But I am saying that we all make mistakes that make our lives more difficult than they need to … Continue reading

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What I’ve Learned As A Bellman.

I’m not what you would call a smart man. (Just ask the wife.) However, after two decades (almost) as a bellman I can honestly say I know my way around the hospitality trenches with the best of them. And now … Continue reading

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The Hook’s Guide To Packing Like A (Fake) Pro.

As a bellman every day I see just what can happen when a traveler approaches packing with all the care and consideration Donald Trump approaches a run for the presidency of the United States. Sure, on the face of it, … Continue reading

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The Hook’s Aluminum Rules of Travel: Part Four.

 And now, the words you’ve all been dying to hear… we’re almost done! Three)  Never forget: Everything has its breaking point, even your credibility. You may fancy yourself the master of your own tale, capable of building up a legend … Continue reading

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The Hook’s Aluminum Rules of Travel: Part One.

(What? You think I can afford gold on a bellman’s salary?)   “I want you to be nice.. until it’s time to… not be nice.” – The late Patrick Swayze as James Dalton in the 1989 white trash classic flick, … Continue reading

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The Ultimate Travel Tip: NEVER Try To Negotiate With A Working Girl.

You’re a chuckling right now, but trust me, right now, somewhere in America, there is a man with extremely damaged testicles who can attest to the value of my advice. This poor, deluded, dumb-ass schmuck actually attempted to renegotiate the … Continue reading

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Things You Should Never Do While Traveling.

Short ‘n sweet today, kids. But pay close attention, okay? Give a hooker your ATM card and pin number so she can withdraw her fee from the lobby bank machine while you call your wife. Tell a bellman, “I don’t … Continue reading

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