Tag Archives: Hookers

The Ultimate Travel Tip: NEVER Try To Negotiate With A Working Girl.

You’re a chuckling right now, but trust me, right now, somewhere in America, there is a man with extremely damaged testicles who can attest to the value of my advice. This poor, deluded, dumb-ass schmuck actually attempted to renegotiate the … Continue reading

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Remove The Absurdity From My Life…

And what remains? Nothing worth writing about, that’s for damn sure. It should be noted that I am referring to my life as a bellman. The world I live in outside of my role as The Hook has no bearing … Continue reading

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Nothing Gets Past The Hook…

BREAKING NEWS: Just brought in luggage for a young lady of questionable morals. (Seriously, she would’ve charmed Charlie Sheen in an instant.) I’m assuming she blew her entire clothes budget on the room, as she was barely dressed. My Spidey … Continue reading

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A Bellman Is…

HOOK’S NOTE:  A little rehash for you today. I’ve covered this topic before, but Fan Expo Canada comes in like a nerdy wrecking ball this week, summer is winding down and I’m just plain knackered, so here we go again, … Continue reading

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Beware The Top of The World.

Being a bellman is akin to being a soldier. Except for the “serving your country while selflessly wading into danger” part, of course. But otherwise, there are more similarities than differences. Most bellmen have military-style haircuts. The hours suck. Adherence … Continue reading

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Once More Into The Breach…

All right, I’m back. At work, I mean. It feels strange to state, but life must go on. And so I’m back amongst the hookers, corporate drones, hardcore gamblers, sweet old ladies that smell like cheese and dead flowers, hockey … Continue reading

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The “Frozen Falls” And… Well, Read On…

For the 80th time… FAMILY OF SEVEN:  (In a collective screaming voice.)  WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE FALLS AREN’T FROZEN OVER?  THAT’S WHY WE’RE HERE! ME:  (Sighing heavily.)  Even if the surface water freezes, the water below it never stops … Continue reading

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