Tag Archives: Ellen DeGeneres

The Hook’s Aluminum Rules of Travel: Part One.

(What? You think I can afford gold on a bellman’s salary?)   “I want you to be nice.. until it’s time to… not be nice.” – The late Patrick Swayze as James Dalton in the 1989 white trash classic flick, … Continue reading

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More Canadian Lily and Lobby Confessions.

Yes, I know “Canadian Lily” sounds like a brand of alcohol, but I was in the zone. Shut up. If you haven’t read Lily Morgan’s 5×5 installment yet, you’re cheating yourself. Go back and do it – NOW!   Lily … Continue reading

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Miley, Missed Opportunities, and Bits ‘n Bites of Wisdom From The Hook.

It is 7 am. It is Monday. The midnight bellman has just informed me of the presence of a young, nubile, completely naked female in her twenties who found herself locked out of her room on the 25th floor. And … Continue reading

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Not Being Kryptonian Sucks.

EARLY, FAR TOO EARLY, SUNDAY, SEPT. 1, 2013: The skies are clear, the sun is shining like a super star and the natives are beginning to stir from their alcohol/party/passion-induced slumber. The valet deck will soon stink of fossil fuels, … Continue reading

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“Thank You” Will Never Be Enough, But It’s All I Can Afford on a Bellman’s Salary.

My daughter loves Discoms; she can’t get enough of them. (“Discoms” is a registered trademark of Hook Inc. At least it would be, if I knew how to register such things. Either way, feel free to use the term, but … Continue reading

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An Open Letter To Ellen DeGeneres

Dearest Ellen, Hello. How are you? That’s great to hear, seriously. Listen, I know you’ve got a full plate in front of you right now (Okay, maybe not literally; you don’t look like you eat that much, to be honest. … Continue reading

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