“The Simple Life” Will Never Be The Title Of The Hook’s Biography.

In my world a seemingly-simple delivery of three bags and a garment carrier can become infinitely-complex in an instant.

Case in point: I recently arrived at a corner room with, you guessed it, three bags and a garment carrier, but before I could rap away on the door…

Hey!
You put the Shama Lama, Baby
In the Rama Lama Ding Dong
Hey, Hey!
You put the Ooh Mow Mow (Oh, oh, oh, oh)
Back into my smile child

The voices emerged from the room next door. They were in tune and full of life. They continued for another moment and ceased. I returned to my labors and knocked on the door.
Thrilling tale so far, isn’t it?

Back to the delivery; the door opened and a rather large, bearded gentleman in a Led Zeppelin t-shirt appeared.

BURLY BILL:  (Seriously, he looked like a Bill.)  Hey, how you doin’, buddy?

ME:  Good, sir.  I was just listening to a little concert next door.

BB:  (Puzzled but coping.)  Oh, them?  Yeah, they’re Indians… if they get too loud I’ll fuckin’ kill ’em!

His sidekick, whom we’ll call Curt Chuck, chimed in.

CC:  Yeah!

What did you expect? I didn’t say he was Articulate Andy, did I?

As you’ve no doubt come to expect by now, I rolled with the punches, dropped off their bags and waited for my reward in short order. Once that was done, and only once that was done, did I let loose.

ME:  So, how long are you visiting from New York?

BB:  Look at this guy!

CC:  Hey, how’d you know we were New Yorkers?

ME:  Lucky guess. It’s also safe to assume you voted for Donny Trump, right?

IN UNISON:  Yeah, Donny’s our boy! He’s making America great again!

ME:  He’s making America something again, that’s for sure.

CC:  You got it, man! Take care, buddy!

And that’s how you deal with racists, get tipped, and avoid an international incident all in one fell swoop, friends.

See you in the lobby, kids…

 

I see shit like this all the time.  Thank Dog.

Posted in Hotel Life | 30 Comments

Blogging: The Best Cheap-Ass Therapy I Can Afford On A Bellman’s Salary.

HOOK’S NOTE:  I haven’t been feeling like myself for a few days. My IBS, which has plagued me for over two years but has just been diagnosed, has me feeling washed out, fed up and angry. (Yes, I have a condition they advertise drugs for on TV. Yay, me!) So please forgive me if this post is less than stellar.

As I type these words on a soulless machine of plastic and metal a song is playing in the lobby. It is a jaunty, upbeat tune that asks a simple question: What do I stand for?

Now, I’ve done my research and it seems I am under no obligation whatsoever to answer the query in question.

But since I am still filled with such a feeling of despair/anxiety/blahness, what’s the harm, right? At the very least it should be a worthwhile distraction, right? Okay, so what do I stand for?

By the way, that wasn’t a rhetorical question… I really don’t know what I stand for. Does anyone, really? I mean, it’s not like it’s something you need to clearly define in order to get going in the morning.

“Do I eat here or grab something at the office? Like Sheila from accounting, for instance?”

“Do I wear a skirt or pants?”

“Do I tuck my Batman t-shirt in or leave it untucked and risk the wrath of my wife?”

(I actually ask myself that question all the time. My wife hates an untucked shirt.)

But back to the question at hand: What causes do I rally behind? What do I consider an act of evil? In which direction does my moral compass point? Who the hell am I anyway?

Helluva question to ask as I’m drifting through a thick spiritual funk, isn’t it? I can barely write or tweet at the moment and here I am attempting to lay my soul bare for all the world to see. Okay, so maybe “all the world to see” is a stretch. Shut up.

But here’s what I believe in.

 

Welcome to my nightmare, (otherwise known as my consciousness) ya filthy animals…

Universal health care.  I don’t care what country you live in or what it’s economic situation looks like, a government’s number one priority is to look after the citizens that put that structure in place to begin with. We have three main political parties in Canada, several independent parties and a gazillion politicians; if we can afford to fund such a colossal enterprise why can’t we afford to provide at the very least, basic medical services to every single citizen who requires them?

Of you’ve ever spent any time in a hospital you understand where I’m coming from, right? Many of them are dirty (when they should be anything but) woefully understaffed and run by people who have become so jaded and desensitized to human suffering they’re in need of care themselves.

 

Access to porn for every citizen who has reached the age of puberty.  Roll your eyes all you like, but I’m talking about good old-fashioned, mainstream pornography like mom and dad used to keep hidden in their bedroom closet.

But with far less hair, of course.

As long as a person has been raised right and possesses a healthy understanding of human sexuality they can watch the collective works of Julia Ann, Kenna James, and of course, Mercedes Carrera, without being convinced all women are bisexual sex kittens and the pizza person can be paid off with coitus.

Life is hard (pun intended) and too many of us are wound tighter than a Cherokee drum. Without an outlet, a release, these citizens will eventually snap. I say it’s better to explode than snap. Again, pun intended.

Screw, Buddha, I maintain that this is the greatest relaxation technique ever conceived by the human mind.

 

Respect and financial assistance for old folks.  Sure they may smell like old cheese and unrealized dreams, but seniors need deserve to be treated with dignity and to be cared for by those of us who are still able to bend over without snapping a vertebrae.

 

Never raising one’s hand in violence to a child – especially your own.  I have a particularly personal connection to anyone who has been abused by a family member. This is a betrayal that cannot be categorized as evil, for it goes beyond that.

 

 

Rape is the ultimate evil.  If I need to convince you of this, well, there’s nothing more to say, is there? Incidentally, I’ll never use a term like “sexual assault”; that’s a sanitized term some coward made up to make himself more comfortable discussing the most violent, degrading act one human being can perpetrate upon another.

 

 

Coca-Cola is ambrosia.  Thanks to my stomach issues pop (that’s “soda” to you Yankees) burns my stomach with all the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns – but before that I loved it like no other beverage I’ve ever consumed. I have given it up forever but my love endures.

 

You are beautiful and deserve to be loved.  Every human being does. Even Sean Spicer. (Though I’m assuming his beauty is hidden under many, many, many layers of snark.)

 

We need to halt the extinction of animal species.  Hunting for survival is one thing but hunting just to be able to mount a creature’s head on your den wall so you can brag to the boys at the country club is just ludicrous.

 

Anyone who doesn’t tip wait staff, bellmen, or anyone who provides them with a service is a douchebag.  I don’t care what your argument is (that’s your opinion, this is mine) if you can afford to go out and eat or take a vacation you can afford to tip. Governments allow employers to pay workers in gratuitous positions minimum wage – and sometimes less – so tips can make all the difference in the world. And workers take these tips and spend them at businesses these non-tippers work at, thus stimulating the economy, so the wheel goes round and round. So there.

 

I could go on.

But I don’t feel like it.

See you in the lobby, kids…

Posted in Hotel Life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 44 Comments

Life’s Too Damn Short… Laugh A Little!

To some of my colleagues outside the Bell department I am a stone wall – with many, many cracks.

The cracks often release fits of anger and frustration, mostly the latter, when I find myself in a service elevator, safely ensconced away from the traveling public. To a hospitality line worker such as myself, service areas, elevators and back corners of parking garages are a temporary refuge where one can blow off steam without fear of reprisal from an aghast guest.

Yes, that one was a bit wordy… If I was any good at this sort of thing do you think I’d be rejected so often by the CBC, The Huffington Post (on both sides of the border) and dozens of celebrities on Twitter?

Moving on…

Venting my pain in private and online helps keep my mood (somewhat) under control when I go home. Otherwise, I ‘d be a Canadian Al Bundy, shouting, “Hey, Jackie… Guess what happened at the shoe store hotel today!” Another trick is to have fun with travelers whenever possible. Old folks are the greatest audience… they’ll believe pretty much anything if you sell it right.

For example…

GRANDMA AGNES:  (Trust me, she was an Agnes if I’d ever seen one.)  What the devil happened to you, dear?

Agnes’ confusion stemmed from my arms. You see, when the weather is nice enough I wear a vinyl jacket with the hotel logo on it. However, when I take the jacket off it leaves a pronounced ring around both arms. (I pull the jacket up in a tribute to Don Johnson and the Eighties in general.) The result is a comedic device with zero statute of limitations.

ME:  Oh, you mean my arms? Well you see.. there was a freak accident while I was unloading a trunk… And contrary to popular belief, free Canadian health care isn’t all its cracked up to be…

GRANDMA AGNES:  (Pondering for a moment.)  Oh my!

At this point I have two choices:

  1.  Let the comedic cat out of the bag and hope she gets the joke.  (Which they always do.)
  2.  Let her walk away and hope she spreads the word about the “Frankenstein Bellman” she met in Niagara Falls.

I can usually go either way, knowing full well the results will be both satisfying and hilarious.

And now onto another humorous convo!

 

MANAGER WHO SHALL REMAIN FOREVER NAMELESS:  (What am I, stupid? I love the HR gals but I refuse to spend anymore time down there than absolutely necessary!)  Hey, Robert, am I correct in assuming you’re the bellman who tells the guests, “You can check out any time you like… but you can never leave,” when they ask “What time is checkout?”

ME:  So now it’s my fault our guests have an appalling lack of pop culture knowledge?

As it turns out, it really isn’t. However… I’m sure you can see where this went, right? The good news is the manager in question is used to my rather “unique” sense of humor so it was all good. My point is this: good material, we’re talking comedy gold, is hard to come by so if you find a routine or two that works for you… Work it to death.

And don’t ever feel bad about working that material; this world could use some yuks these days… And an honest, coherent politician or ten.

See you in the lobby, kids…

Posted in Hotel Life | Tagged , , , | 28 Comments

5×5 With The Hook: Hugh Dillon.

When I was a mere lad I vividly remember a commercial featuring Mr. Robert Conrad (Google him, kids) in it, Robert dares the viewer to knock a battery off his shoulder. At the time, Robert was the ultimate TV tough guy.

Mr. Conrad is still with us (I know, I was shocked too) but Hugh Dillon is now the hardest, most intense cat on television these days. Seriously, Hugh could stare down an entire Russian special ops unit.

If you’re not familiar with HD’s work (he’s cool with me calling him that – I hope) you should be ashamed of yourself… because he’s delightful. Since I like you I’m going to sum up Hugh’s distinguished career so you can hold your head high the next time you go out in public.

Unlike most of us who are fortunate enough to be passable at one thing, HD has fused brilliant acting with a fascinating career as a singer songwriter, earning notoriety and opening doors as the lead singer in the multi- platinum punk rock band, the Headstones. One of those doors was a role in the indie-classic, Hard Core Logo, where he played a dysfunctional rock god who slips over the edge and blows his brains out at the end of the film. 

Hugh’s own life has mirrored this role at times, though with a decidedly- happier ending. Though technically, in order for his life story to “end” he’d have to actually expire… never mind.

But back to Hugh’s life journey; he’s done the substance abuse thing that seems so tied to a rock ‘n roll lifestyle but those days are long gone. These days Hugh Dillon is living proof that you can not only tame your inner demons, you can integrate their intensity into your life in a positive way. This, more than any other accomplishment in his life is why I am so honored to have Hugh here today. You see, both my parents have struggled with addiction in one form or another and so I have great respect and admiration for anyone who has managed to rise above.

Hugh has taken his infamous history and used it to enhance his acting  résumé, with honest and intense – to say the least – roles in Durham County, AMC’s The Killing, Continuum, Flashpoint (the role of lifetime some might say) and of course, X Company. And last but not certainly not least, Hugh can be seen in the upcoming revival of Twin Peaks among a cast that includes returning original series regulars (including Laura Palmer herself, Sheryl Lee) and an A-list cast of guest stars.

But back to Mr. Dillon’s CBC work: based upon the real events of Canadian spy school Camp X during World War II, X Company, coupled with Flashpoint, has earned Hugh critical and public acclaim. Most importantly, to me at least, these two roles have shown the world that Hugh Dillon is that rarest of acting birds: the chameleon. When you watch a Hugh Dillon performance you’re really watching an alternate reality where Hugh Dillon is a CEO, a tactical hero, a spy. And when you see Hugh Dillon perform on stage you’re really watching Hugh Dillon traveling through the days of his life, reliving all the joy pain and everything in-between in the process.

And we’re all going to get a chance to take another journey down the musical rabbit hole with The Headstones when Hugh and the boys release Little Army in June. In fact, Hugh responded to these Qs while rehearsing. (Is this guy great or what?)

And now you’re about to watch read Hugh Dillon’s greatest performance yet, so get comfortable, the ride’s about to begin…

ONE)  My late father-in-law suffered with emphysema and TV soon became his lifeline to the world. Flashpoint was one of his favorite shows and helped give him something to look forward to every day.  My question to you (and I do have one) is this: Do you realize just how important the work you do has become to millions of people?

I have been very lucky to have been a part of so many meaningful bands/shows/films.

It comes down to writing and collaboration – and when people want to truly communicate – there is a state of grace that kicks in. The work takes on a life of its own and finds its way into the hearts of others – its meaning full, connected, cathartic and positive, that’s what its about. I’ve been lucky I have had folks approach me from all walks of life and tell me how much a song has meant to them or the Headstones band means to them, or a character I’ve played has meant to them.

And with Flashpoint now in syndication it happens worldwide, often with the police, ha ha ha! For example I’d been living in Paris the last couple of years shooting X Company and I thought I was getting arrested one day on Montparnasse, but the cops just wanted to tell me how much the show meant to them and the positive and realistic portrayal of police work and PTSD.

The writing on that show was so good it transcended language barriers/cultural differences  and has stood the test of time. And it is amazing how we can drop all the walls we put up when we recognize the truth and beauty in the stories. Sometime it’s a song a show or even a sport that provides that moment of connection, and life is good and you’re in the moment and you’re connected; can’t beat it!

“What do you mean I’m on The Hook’s blog?  What the hell is a ‘Hook’?”

TWO)  You already make unbelievably-cool music with a great bunch of guys but if you could spend a night jamming with musicians of your choice from any time period or reality, who would you choose, Hugh?

Elvis. Sid Vicous. Jim Morrison. Ray Manzarec. Jimmy Hendrix. Easy E. Tupac.

Janice Joplin. Biggie Smalls. Prince. John Lennon. Johnny Cash.

Adam Yauch of the Beastie Boys and and DJ Jam, Master Jay of Run-D.M.C.

THREE)  Canadian television has been enjoying quite a Renaissance period the last few years; what’s your favorite homegrown TV product right now?

Orphan Black.

(I can’t blame him; OB is a genuine worldwide phenomenon.)

 

“You call these questions, Hook?  Do you know who I am?  I’m Hugh Dillon, baby!”

FOUR)  You’ve been to the edge of your own existence and back and now people identify you as one of the strongest, most intense Canadians of all time; is there a story from the “sweet side” of Hugh Dillon that would shock people?

I will drop anything I’m doing for people who are struggling with addiction issues, and their families.

Specifically when they find they want to stop but can’t; that is a difficult place to be. I have a lot of empathy in those situations.

(If I didn’t consider Hugh a real-life hero before…)

 

FIVE)  Are you still rolling your eyes whenever people ask you for Twin Peaks spoilers?  (And I’m not asking by the way. If I wanted to do that I’d ask one of the three hundred other actors in the first episode.)

Twin Peaks was a Bucket list moment for me.

It was a series of bizarre and secretive hoops I had to jump through and then suddenly they offered me the gig; I was in Los Angeles and every actor I have ever respected is jockeying for a position to play anything. -I was again very very lucky and honoured to have been asked. It was surreal and awesome in every way, ha ha!

It was so secretive, until that moment: the second I’m on set with David Lynch, and then it was so perfect and he actually did my make up himself!

He is so specific and so focused on the work; I could smell the American Spirit cigarettes on his fingers. His attention to every single detail is what makes him the master; how focused everyone on set is and how everyone wants to be there, the original independent vibe. Later on I remembered why I recognized it; it brought me back to my roots. It reminded me of how I got into it in the first place, when I started with Bruce McDonald doing Hard Core Logo.

David Lynch makes things that are meaningful, he is an artist making something special. It reminded me of what I want to do when I grow up. 🙂

 

 I don’t know about you, but I’m knackered, kids! Just interviewing Hugh Dillon is an amazing, draining experience, to say nothing of what it must be like to actually be High Dillon!

At any rate, I want to thank Mr. Dillon for being here and of course, my eternal thanks to all of you as well.

See you in the lobby, kids…

Posted in Hotel Life | Tagged , , , , , , | 12 Comments

5×5 With The Hook: Sarah McVie.

The best thing I can say about today’s guest is this: She’s the most underrated chick on Canadian television.

Seriously, Sarah McVie may have only been acting for seven years but she’s never given a bad performance. She leaves it all on the set. And if you haven’t seen her as Val Szalinsky on CBC’s mega-hit, Workin’ Moms, you’ve cheated yourself of thirteen weeks of yukgasms. And trust me, yukgasms are more fun than they sound.

Then again, they’d have to be, wouldn’t they?

But back to Sarah. Not only does she play the greatest leader of any Mommy And Me group in the Multiverse on Workin’ Moms, she’s really, really smart. And we’re not talking abut the kind of smart you call someone when you’re trying to be nice, like, “She’s got ginormous jugs… but she’s really smart, too!” or even, “She’s kind of a bitch… but she’s super smart, so she can’t be all bad!”

No, Sarah is genuinely smart. How genuinely smart? She’s been a lecturer in Drama Studies in the English Department at Carleton University since 2010. That’s pretty damn smart, kids.

Image result for sarah mcvie working moms

Yes!  Being on The Hook’s blog is #4 on my bucket list!  Right after contracting gonorrhea!

A native of Ottawa (Canada’s version of Washington with fewer scandals but just as many asshats) Sarah began her career in theatre as an actor at the Stratford Festival, where her roles included: Cordelia in King Lear opposite Christopher Plummer (yes, that Christopher Plummer) The Bawd in Pericles, Lady MacDuff in Macbeth, and Marianna in Alls Well that Ends Well.

Sarah was also a member of the Stratford Conservatory for Classical Theatre Training and a recipient of the John Hirsch Award for the most promising young actor. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that all the other promising young actors that year met with “accidents”…

(Oh, that Hook! Is he serious? Mad as a Trumpian hatter? Who knows? Who cares?)

If you’d like further proof that Sarah’s not just a hot Canadian chick with a rockin’ bod and a brain to match, feast on this: Over the years Sarah has worked with the Stratford Education Department to bring her intense passion for classical theatre to students across Ontario (think of a state, my Yankee friends) making visits to schools and offering workshops for teachers and students of all ages.

Giving back to this world instead of just taking is the hallmark of a true hero, kids.

Two years back, Sarah co-wrote a play called The Public Servant, which was produced and developed by Theatre Columbus. It premiered at the Great Canadian Theatre Company in June, 2015 and more than one member of the audience was heard to remark, “It’s way better than Cats!”.  (I love a good SCTV joke, don’t you? Get thee to the YouTube, young ones.)

At this point in her life, Sarah teaches and also works in film and TV as a voice-over artist, director and acting coach. Additionally, she has a full life filled with love, laughter, Workin’ Moms greatness and now a spot in 5×5 history.

One more thing: (long live Peter Falk), Sarah’s work on the aforementioned Workin’ Moms may be a far cry from her theatre background, but it has helped to change lives. This isn’t hyperbole; Workin’ Moms uses jaw-dropping humor to shine a light on irrefutable truths society doesn’t like to discuss very often. Or at all.

Moms are human.

Moms bleed. (On the inside, in their soul, people. Grow up.)

Moms are sexual beings who get every bit as horny as the rest of us.

A mom has the right to decide if she doesn’t want to keep being a new mom ad infinitum.

The list goes on but you get the point, right? Now let’s get on with the 5×5 show. Take it away, SM!

Image result for sarah mcvie working moms

Now that I’ve been on The Hook’s blog I feel so freeee!!!

ONE)  I might as well start off by giving the people what they want: What was your greatest moment on the Workin’ Moms set, Sarah?  (On-camera or otherwise, it doesn’t matter.)

Flouncing around in that Cinderella gown making those kids giggle with my improvised harp solo was hands down the highlight of the first season shoot.

Image result for sarah mcvie working moms

TWO)  You co-wrote a play; if you could work on any production, in any time period, in any role on or off the stage, what would you choose?  (And don’t feel any pressure to say Hamilton just because it’s hotter than a June bride sitting bareback on a wood stove right now.)

I understudied Lady Macbeth as a young actor at Stratford and desperately wanted to go on.

Never did. That’s my dream role.

 

THREE)  As an actual Professor you’re literally the smartest person I’ve ever interviewed, Sarah… who’s your favorite dead Prime Minister?

Lester B. Pearson.

My grandmother was his administrative assistant until she met my grandfather and had to quit, because back then women weren’t allowed to be married and have a career.

(This answer inspired my daughter to remark, “What the duck! Sounds like the Dark Ages to me!”)

 

FOUR)  Like all members of the Workin’ Moms cast I’m sure you’ve had a lot of feedback from actual parents, Sarah.  Can you share a memorable comment/conversation you’ve received from a fan?

A close friend was really touched by the relationship between Anne and Alice. In particular that moment when Alice folds the pizza up like her mom did, it moved my friend to tears.

(Your friend certainly wasn’t alone, Sarah.)

 

FIVE)  Can you use five words to describe the current state of Canadian TV?

Funny. Edgy. Underfunded. Overlooked. Undersold.

Image result for sarah mcvie working moms

Seriously, Hook? This was the best you could do? You’re no Catherine Marcelle Reitman, buddy…

On that note, I’m outta here, kids. My eternal thanks to Sarah McVie for being here and of course, to all of you, I say, thank you and good day.

See you in the lobby, kids…

Posted in Hotel Life | Tagged , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

A Brief Look At The Tao Of The Hook.

People often have one question after reading this blog for the first time, can you guess what it is?

No, It’s not, “Why the hell didn’t I just log onto Redtube and watch Mercedes Carrera do… anything rather than look at this dreck?” or “There has to be a new cat video up on YouTube by now, right?”

Nice try, friends, but we all know the obvious query that springs to mind after reading of my misadventures in the hospitality trenches…

“How the hell does The Hook get away with being The Hook?”

Well, to be absolutely honest… I have absolutely no idea.

 

My future doesn’t look bright so let’s live for today, shall we?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I do get away with being my open, brutally-honest, take-no-effin-prisoners-self, but I can’t tell you how exactly the noose never finds its way around my neck. There are a few simple rules that make up my personal code of conduct that I’ll happily share some of them with you now if you like…

You’re good with that? No wonder we get along so well.

ONE)  Never curse at a guest.  Of course, if the guest is already indulging in the language of potty mouth, there is some flexibility to be exercised. But you have to be certain (I mean dead certain) the traveler in question will be cool with it. Ultimately, it’s a judgement call, which brings us to my next rule…

 

TWO)  Always keep your “guestdar” in tip-top shape!  Without my ability to gauge a guest’s sense of humor I’d be lost. Seriously, I’d have been fired nineteen years ago if I just shot my Canadian mouth off at any traveler that crossed my path. Any bellman worth his salt can tell you whether a guest is thick-skinned enough to handle an offbeat comment or two.

And incidentally, those offbeat comments can make all the difference in the world; seasoned travelers deal with the same old chit chat from hotel staff all the time and as you can imagine, they get bored pretty damn quick. But how often do such guests deal with a bellman who is willing to go the extra mile off the beaten path and take things up a notch or ten?

Or for that matter, how often do such guests deal with a bellman named The Hook? There are plenty of Roberts out there in cheap uniforms… but there’s only one Hook, baby.

And by the way, my wife likes it that way – but that’s another matter entirely.

THREE)  When necessary, be a chameleon.  If I deal with a drunken hardcore gambler I’m not going to grab a bottle of hooch from the bar and start chugging it back… but I am going to let the lush rant and rave for a few minutes.

I’ll take the lewd comments, eye assaults and the odd butt grab from cougars – and let them think I like ’em – if it keeps them happy.

Get the point, friends? The best thing a bellman can do for his guest is eliminate the “Us vs. Them” mentality that often dominates most guest/worker relations. People rarely rat out one of their own to management. Let a traveler know you’re one of them and you’ll be golden.

The obvious exception being Klansmen or Trump supporters, of course.

I hate those guys.

 

FOUR)  I actually hold back!  Yes, I realize you’ve just spit out your coffee (again) but it’s true. In the twenty years (almost) that I’ve been a bellman the traveling public has gone from perturbed to openly hostile. Guests indulge in public behavior that would’ve been unthinkable a few years ago.

And there’s not a damn thing anyone can – or is willing to – do about it. I push back as much as I can without actually throttling anyone but there are limits I need to respect. Especially since I’ve grown rather fond of eating on a daily basis and having a roof over my egg-shaped head. And so I hold the best insults – and my rage – in until they dissipate. Incidentally, I sometimes have to do the same thing when dealing with my fellow employees and managers – and it sucks.

 

And there you have it, a brief look at my working code of ethics. Admittedly, this isn’t my best work (I’m still dealing with more baggage than a guy who actually gets paid to deal with baggage) but I hope you found it both entertaining and enlightening.

See you in the lobby, kids…

Posted in Hotel Life | 35 Comments

Happy Easter – If You Don’t Mind The Sentiment, That Is…

Admittedly, I’m not an “Easter guy”.

Even as a kid, I never went in for the colored eggs, the hunt, the elbow-to-elbow battle among my so-called peers that was required to locate a basket full of gaudily-painted treats. It just wasn’t me.

Now if my parents had deposited me into a field strewn with Star Wars figures, comic books and bottles of pop and told me to fight it out with a hundred other rugrats? Well, I would’ve gone full Lord of the Flies and come back with a few dozen baskets and a bunch of child slaves to cart them around for me. But they didn’t. So I couldn’t.

However, as a parent I loved watching my daughter’s face light up as she raced around the house seeking candy treasure and toys. (We tried the group hunt thing but my kid has always been too smart to follow the herd, and as parents we’ve always believed in taking things up a notch. Screw convention.) But now she’s older and we just buy a bunch of chocolate crap and books – the kid loves books – and hand it over.

Easy peasy. The way parenting should be.

This brings us to the obvious question: If The Hook isn’t an “Easter guy” then why is he publishing an Easter post? When Easter’s almost over, no less?

Because I’ve been feeling depressed and down-in-the-dumps today and I needed to write something, anything, or risk a total breakdown. I’m not going to go into details, suffice to say my health issues coupled with the usual self-confidence issues where my writing is concerned have me feeling overwhelmed. Again.

So here we are.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a great life filled with love and a job that’s never boring. My bills are paid. My mortgage is non-existent. But I’m human and as damaged as the next guy. Perhaps moreso. But I’m fighting the good fight so don’t feel too bad for me; you’ve got enough on your plate.

Happy Egg Day, ya filthy animals.

But if you don’t celebrate Egg Day, please disregard this entire post and carry on with your evening.

See you in the lobby, kids…

 

Posted in Hotel Life | Tagged , , , , , , | 40 Comments