Sorry about the title, I’ve just always wanted to use that phrase, whether it be in real life, or on the screen, so I decided to go for it. Incidentally, I’ve always wanted to use a lot of commas in one sentence too.
So I’ve succeeded on both counts… so it’s been a banner day for me, let me tell you.
No, seriously, it has been a bit since I’ve published anything in this space and I felt it was time. The problem is this…
I don’t have anything worthwhile to share. (Not that that’s ever stopped me before.) It’s just that life has been hectic as hell lately and creatively I’m as blocked as I am physically most days. So let’s do some bullet points and then you nice people can get the hell out of here.
- Returning to full service at the hotel has made everyone happy; my staff (feels strange to say I have staff), Management, and not that I even really care, but even the guests are happy. Sure, some of them are still stiffing us, but most of them are happy things are beginning to return to normal. It’s been one of the biggest, longest fights of my life, but we’re back and that’s all that matters.
- Being a manager is great, but it’s a ton of work. You have to try to accommodate your staff’s (there it is again!) scheduling requests, the hotel’s occupancy forecasts, Management’s desire to “run lean” to save money in these uncertain times, and of course, the x-factor, which is always present and will always mess you up.
- The book is deader than disco on Amazon and so I’ve given up completely on writing fiction and a large portion of my dreams. Though I still hope to someday meet Paul Reiser and Helen Hunt.
Speaking of the lovely miss Hunt…
Actual Conversation At The Bell Desk
CARL: (One of my new guys.) Just read your blog, Robert, you’ve really got a thing for that broad, don’t you?
ME: You mean Helen Hunt?
CARL: No, I mean Mother Theresa! Of course, Helen Hunt! It’s gotta be one of the biggest unrealized ambitions of your life to not have slept with that broad!
ME: Hey, did you really read the post? Helen Hunt in the 1980’s represented my ideal woman. Long before Mad About You, she was the girl next door. The drop-dead gorgeous, caring, relatable girl that you want at your bedside when you’re sick and in your bed when you’re not. The…
CARL: Well, sure! Everyone wants that broad!
ME: And that’s who I married! I wasn’t even aware of this until years later, but everyone at my wife’s work compared her to Miss Hunt. So I’ve been sleeping with Helen Hunt for years! I’ve been married for twenty-seven years… so I’ve slept with Helen Hunt at least twenty-seven times! So I’m a happy guy!
And I really am. My writing career is DOA, but my wife is the greatest gift life has ever bestowed upon me – next to my daughter, of course. I just pray my lovely bride never decides to act on the knowledge that she married one hundred classes below her station.
And that’s all I have. (Told you I was blocked.)
See you in the lobby, kids…
I had no idea what sort of pic to use for this post, except that I didn’t want to follow up some heartfelt sentiments about my young bride with pics of another woman. So here’s a poster for a film that holds a very special place in each of my family member’s hearts for different reasons…
You've Been Hooked! 
I’ve always thought Helen Hunt was an amazing actress. I’m glad you married a Helen Hunt. You deserve her. 🙂
I feel bad comparing her to someone else, but she really is the greatest person in my life.
I’m glad to hear that. 🙂
Welcome back.
I am sure you will get your mojo back.
Hope springs eternal, right?
Thanks.
I loved Helen Hunt too. You are a lucky man, Hook. Sorry to hear about you giving up writing. If you don’t do it for yourself, there is a lot of potential for disappointment. With over a million books released a year, selling them is an impossible dream. So to use sales as a measure guarantees disappointment. Glad to see you back at the blog.
I’ve always had a problem believing in myself. It’s amazing that I managed to convince a woman, much less a magnificent one, to marry me at all, John.
But maybe I’ll get back to it someday.
When you want to get back I’m sure you will. I’m sure she is very happy she married you. (Most of the time)
Emphasis on “most of the time”.
Thanks, John.
😁
Helen Hunt is my girl-crush. 🙂
Interestingly, a lot of her female fans hate how her hairstyle began to change in season five of Mad About You, but her acting has evolved over the years. She’s definitely paid her dues in Hollywood and it’s paid off.
Good to see a post from you Robert! Good movie. She was good in What Women Want (shame about MG who was an ass), Cast Away and As Good As It Gets.
All great films, and one of them got her that Oscar all actors covet so much.
She gave a great acceptance speech too.
It was interesting to see her then-husband Hank Azaria with her at the Academy Awards; sadly, they were only married for 17 months.
Ahh… Robert! You post about as often as I do these days but I did manage one last Wed on Friday Fictioneers. It’s based on true events.
I’m sorry you are blocked and have given up on your book but I’m glad you have a paying job that will at least keep the lights on.
Congrats on 27 years. We celebrate 36 this summer and we are both still breathing sonI call that a win/win on most days 😉
It’s a win on any day, congratulations!
Twister is one of my fav movies!
My daughter watches it over and over!
The cast is top-notch, and while some of the stunts are a little over-the-top (driving through the house was nuts!) the film has aged well.
Did you ever catch the mistake when the telephone pole lands on Bill’s truck when he and Jo are debating over picking up the pieces of “Dorothy”? The pole is there in one shot and gone the next!
No, I have missed that! But now I have a reason to watch it again!
Get ready for tourist season! Good to “see” you again, and what a beautiful tribute to your bride. And Helen. I could watch Twister over and over.
My daughter has watched it over and over and over…
I recently reflected on just how blessed I’ve been to have my young bride in my life. She’s literally saved me from oblivion.
It’s certainly refreshing reading your thoughts about your wife. Every wife should be so lucky to have their husbands think that highly of them. I’m really pleased that life at work seems to be heading into some kind of “normal” zone for you. OK, “normal” and “The Hook” may not be something you see in the same sentence to often… 😉
Or at all!
But thanks for everything over the years, dear lady.
Good to hear from you, Robert! I’m glad the job’s going well, minus the ton of work, of course. 😉
I’m no one to talk, as this may be the most writing I’ve done in ages, but I’m sure you’ll get your MOJO back. Cheers, buddy!
It’s still gone, but hope springs eternal, right?
Hi Hook! It’s always good to hear from you. And don’t say you had nothing to write about. This was fun to read. Thank goodness the hotel is back to normal. Work busy is a good thing. BTW, Twister is my favorite Helen Hunt movie.
It really is a masterpiece overflowing with talent.
Everybody’s in that movie!
🙂
Hi, Hook! That is such good news on the hotel front. Things have pretty much returned to “normal” here, and we can live our lives as before.
Love your use of commas. Very nice.
And I adore that you adore your wife. You are a good man.
There are some movies that I can’t help myself – I watch them every time I come across them on the television, and yep, Twister is one of them. I love the underlying love story. And the flying cows.
Finally, I had no idea you had a fiction book! How exciting! And you have great reviews. Don’t stop writing, Hook. Series books don’t usually take off until after the third book. And, your ranking just increased, because I just grabbed my copy! 🙂
You’re the absolute best, Maddie, thanks.