When I was a schoolboy in the Canadian public education system (yes, the same one that produced Justins Bieber and Trudeau, sadly) I wrote a gripping series of stories about mythological heroes and superheroes of my own creation meeting in a multidimensional adventure that predated DC Comics’ Crisis On Infinite Earths.
Of course DC’s version was infinitely more successful and better drawn. But that’s neither here nor there. I was first, so suck it DC.
Where the hell was I? Oh yeah, my glorious tale of heroes and villains of different eras and worlds coming together. In retrospect, it may have sucked but the point is this: I hadn’t discovered girls so my creative engine was humming at full throttle.
Then I blinked and it was February 25th, 2020 and I was fifty years old.
It is our most precious resource. Next to Kraft dinner, of course. And like KD, we rarely savor it as we’re enjoying it. No, we just gobble it up and cry like babies when it’s gone. My mother was terrified as she lay dying from bone cancer and would’ve given anything to have more time. Though to be honest, we all know she would’ve wasted it; that’s what people do. Sure, we all say we’re going to make the most of our limited time here on this temporal plane but then we forget how limited our time actually is as we get on with the business of paying bills, trying to get laid, making dinner as the kids are screaming, and just trying to survive.
Even as I write this inspiring post I know it’s effect isn’t going to be lasting. How could it? People that make the most of every second of their lives tend to live very short lives. I’d rather waste a shit-ton of time working hard and providing for my family than gallivanting from one adventure to another as I burn out faster than a dollar store sparkler.
That’s not to say that I’ve wasted that much time over the course of my existence. Not at all. I’ve:
- Read a buncha comics.
- Attended more conventions than I can remember
- Watched more television than human eyeballs should be able to tolerate.
- Interviewed and met a celebrity or two. (Including O.J., who was unforgettable.)
- Traveled a bit though not nearly enough.
- Met and served tourists from all over the world who will never forget me.
- Dated a young lady or two. (Though I’ve been rejected more than accepted.)
- Conned the greatest gal in the universe into marrying me.
- Had an awesome kid. (To be fair, my wife did all the hard work.)
And lest I forget, I met and forged a familial bond with my brother, Rockin’ Ronnie.
None of these things would’ve been possible if I had sacrificed my allotted time and dove into the seemingly-endless waters of Niagara Falls as a teen. No judgement here; I understand better than most what can drive a soul to want to end their time when it becomes too painful to endure another second but here’s the thing about time…
You never know what it holds in store for you.
Anything is possible in the future if you’re just willing to wait for it.
See you in the lobby, friends…