It’s been awhile since I shared any of my encounters in the trenches of hotel hell heaven, so I’m going to open with a speech I usually save for slightly different situations but which applies here:
“This may not go as smoothly as you’d hoped. I may not be as adept as I one was but I can still guarantee your satisfaction by the climax. I hope.”
So yesterday afternoon I was returning to the guest elevators after finishing off another successful luggage call that ended exactly as such things should: with a few dollars in my frayed uniform pockets, when I crossed paths with a black family of four from the US. Incidentally, we have a new bellman from Jamaica who insists he is a black man not a “damn colored person”, so I’m going with black, not “African-American okay?
At any rate, here’s the unforgettable convo that followed between myself and Mom, Dad and two pre-teen lads.
PRE-TEEN LAD #1: Yo, you make a lot of money as a bellboy?
ME: I do all right… But that’s between us and not Revenue Canada, okay?
MOM: What’s Revenue Canada?
ME: Our version of your lovely IRS.
MOM: Oh! We hate those guys!
ME: Everyone does. Even those guys hate themselves.
PRE-TEEN LAD#2: Do all bellboys make a lot of coin?
MOM: You boys shouldn’t be asking this nice gentleman these questions.
ME: The nice gentleman doesn’t mind. And to answer your question, I can’t say how much other bellman make, all I can do is speak for myself.
PRE-TEEN LAD: 1: So why do you make sick coin?
ME: Oh, that’s easy. It’s because I’m a middle-aged, non-threatening white male. I’m the Wayne Brady of bellmen.
A round of shocked laughter abounded throughout the moving metal box we all found ourselves temporarily encased in.
Then things got… Well, you’ll see.
MOM: Wayne Brady? But he’s black!
DAD: Wayne Brady ain’t black! That nigga ain’t been black for years!
BOTH PRE-TEEN LADS: Yeah, mom, that nigga ain’t been black for years!
With that, we all exited the elevator as Mom rolled her eyes until she gave herself a headache, Dad beamed with pride at the attitude he had instilled in his lads, the leads were lads, and I grinned from ear to ear, knowing I had some nice, juicy blog fodder to serve up for my readers.
And now that I’ve taken a temporary reprieve from my summer hiatus, I bid you all adieu.
See you in the lobby, friends…
Well. Glad dad was keeping it real.
All-too real.
I agree.
Good to see a post from you Robert.
It’s good to be seen.
Thanks for stopping by.
🙂
Yay! A Hook post! I hope your summer is being good to you.
It’s keeping me hopping so far, which is great!
Enjoy the season, Doug.
Did you make coin on that trip, though?
I was just finishing a call where I made some coin before running into the coolest family ever… My honky brother.
I love it! I admit that there are moments when the PC rules of the day change so quickly make my head spin. My suspicion is that not everyone agrees so it is always best to find out directly from the source.
I wholeheartedly agree, old friend.
I miss the old days.
Actually I’m not surprised. Sad that people are locked on to a mindset or attitude. Imagine if people actually listened and thought. Now that’s a lofty dream. Sigh. Good to read a Hook post!
Good to be read!
🙂
Thanks for the chuckle!
It was my pleasure!
Did you ever see the episode of Chapelle’s Show with Wayne Brady? He actually does a skit that covers this perception of him. It’s actually pretty funny.
I LOVE that skit!
“I’m Wayne Brady, bitch!”
It’s hilarious.
Have a wonderful summer in the falls Mr. Hook, maybe one day coffee is in the horizon, considering I’m only an hour away.
True, we’re practically in each other’s backyards…
It’s too bad that being a bellman version of Wayne Brady, you don’t actually make the same money as Wayne Brady (estimated net worth $10 million).
While my estimated net worth is -$10 million.