100 Reasons To Not Kill Yourself: #52.

When things get bad in our lives, I mean really bad, we just can’t see the good, so we certainly can’t recognize that what we’re afraid of may actually be a blessing in disguise.

#52: Fear.

It will come as no shock to anyone that I’m a ginormous Whovian (that’s someone who loves the British sci-fi masterpiece, Doctor Who, for you Muggles) and so I wish to share a quote from this brilliant series that I think will be helpful and should easily fill a paragraph.

“Let me tell you about scared. Your heart is beating so hard I can feel it through your hands. There’s so much blood and oxygen pumping through your brain it’s like rocket fuel.

Right now you could run faster and you can fight harder. You can jump higher than ever in your life and you are so alert it’s like you can slow down time.

What’s wrong with scared?  Scared is a superpower!  Your superpower!”

If you naysayers still think science fiction is a lesser genre, you’re just jerks. Please click away now. If you’re still here then let’s chat about the things that terrify us, shall we? I’m not talking about centipedes in your sink or a group of young punks blocking your walking path to work.

No, I’m interested in the things that horrify some of us so much we’re willing to end it all just to make the fear vanish. Growing old alone. Or just growing old. Not finding true love or even just someone to help fill the hours of our days. Cancer or a dozen other diseases. Homelessness. Of course, this is the tip of the iceberg. After all, fear is a very personal thing; what chills you to your core may not do so for me.

But we can all stand united in our desire to give fear the bird. “Coward, take this coward’s hand and together we’ll fight the dragon” and all that.

 

Without going into detail, I spent enough time with him to know that fear is what drove my friend to take his life and that, more than anything else, will haunt me for the rest of my days. If he had only called me or my wife, if he had only reached out, we would’ve told Ronnie that we would take his hand and keep him safe from the dragon.

But he didn’t. (Though I’m not judging him for it.)

And so here we are.

It can be paralyzing, but fear has no power on its own. If you don’t feed it, it withers and dies. But if you use it properly it can propel you further than any almost any force in the world, with the exception of love, of course.

Yes, I’m being a bit simplistic, but it’s me, what did you expect? My logic is sound nevertheless. I hope it serves you well.

See you  in the lobby, friends…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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18 Responses to 100 Reasons To Not Kill Yourself: #52.

  1. The Oracle says:

    Just in time per your usual..

  2. So very true. Fear messes everyone up, and some more than others. And what so many people don’t know, and I only found out by accident, is it can be really easy to move fear out of our lives permanently (not all fears at once), with the right tools. As you said, talking about them with a trusted friend is a great start. And one of the most empowering things a person can do is face their fears and walk through them.

  3. Doug in Oakland says:

    Fear and the awareness of mortality can both be great motivators. Fear, though, can devolve into crippling dread, which feeds off of itself and convinces you that whatever you’re afraid of is worse than it really is. It lies to you. It has access to your endocrine system and can make the most ridiculous idea seem real and menacing and in need of your full and immediate attention, which won’t fix it because it’s not real, or real enough to be fixable.
    But that same endocrine system can indeed jack you up and give you temporary access to your brain’s full 40hz clock speed, instead of the usual +/- 24hz you’re used to, thus the feeling of slowing down time.
    I got intimately acquainted with that phenomenon when I raced motorcycles.
    But even considering all of the terrifying situations I made it through racing motorcycles, the thing that scared me the most of anything so far was the first time I stepped up to a microphone to sing to an audience. Why that took more courage to pull off than any of the rest of it, I don’t know, but it did make the experience exhilarating as all hell, and perhaps that was what I was really after in the first place.

  4. Fear stated out loud to someone else has no more power to hurt. Good post, Hook. I’m sorry Ronnie didn’t voice his fear out loud.

  5. Theresa says:

    Your description of the effect fear has on the human body is spot on! I can remember a time it shook me so hard that i swear my vision suddenly was super sharp and my senses were at high alert! When you finally get free of it, its like you just ran a marathon and then you crash!
    It’s a hair raising (no exaggeration) experience. Once I never want to go through again. Thank God I survived.

  6. Jennie says:

    “If you don’t feed it, it withers and dies.” That is profound! I was the team manager for our son’s hockey team. Me? This non-sports lady? The coach must have known I would be a good communicator with all the families, and I was. Over time, we understood each other so well. We were friends. Hubby had a great relationship with him, too. But ours was more like BFFs since elementary school, where no words were needed. And some years later, after our kids went off to college, I got the call that he had taken his life. Shock. Like you, I would have been there at 2:00 AM, any time, if I had known. And I didn’t know. Since then, I have stopped beating myself up, and I have a much keener understanding and perspective. So, from this eternal glass-half-full lady, my good friend’s suicide has given me new skills. Remember, I teach young children, and I need to see any warning signs. Again your words, “If you don’t feed it, it withers and dies.” Apologies for a way too long reply. Best to you, Hook.

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