100 Reasons To Not Kill Yourself: #61.

As Hawkeye Pierce once said, an egg is an amazing thing.

It is one of the few things in life that can only be enjoyed after you break it.

But I’m being premature, aren’t I? (I’m secure enough in my masculinity to admit that). Let’s do the title thing:

#61: Eggs.

I love eggs. To be clear, there are many things in life that I like, such as sunrises, sunsets, watching old people smile (it’s nice because you know they’re going to be dead soon), eating a cheeseburger, and sixty-five more. But there are only a handful of things I love.

I suck at actually making every variety of egg (I was going to say I suck at actually producing them, but that’s a whole other ball game) but consuming a plate of freshly-scrambled eggs is akin to pure bliss in my books. Some of my fondest memories of my late creator involve her, as she put it, “Slaving over a hot stove to make you a hot breakfast!” (As opposed to slaving over a cold stove.) It may have broken her will, but my mom’s scrambled eggs made my childhood much more bearable. And my grandmother seemed to be happiest whenever we sat down as a family to devour her food, especially her egg-focused breakfasts.

Light, fluffy and smothered in salt. Scrambled eggs and women are both divine when served this way. Yes, feminists everywhere are screaming my name right now, but it’s all in the cause of making you laugh so I’m willing to take the hits.

There are millions of ways to produce eggs, especially the scrambled variety (I am neither a chef or a mathematician so don’t quote me) but I’ve always felt that eggs produced with love – whether they’re from a hen or a family member – taste the best. Food nourishes our bodies and keeps us alive, certainly, but as today’s guest will tell you, the perfect meal, of any scale, will nourish your soul as well.

Paula Roy has devoted her life to helping others see – and taste – the beauty of a simple meal prepared to perfection. With almost two decades’ worth of experience as a food journalist, she has enjoyed considerable success as a freelance recipe developer and spokesperson for national brands. Although we’ve never met in person she is someone I feel comfortable asking for money, and I can think of no better endorsement than that.

I knew when I started this post that I’d need an expert’s inspirational touch and so I asked her for an egg recipe to share with you. I had no idea she’d come though in epic fashion, with no less than five awesome creations. Paula’s creations will bring a smile to your soul that will last far longer than the meal (you’ll devour it in seconds, that’s how good it’s going to be) especially when shared with someone you love. And speaking of love, this first offering will give you a chance to bond with your kids while filling their bellies.

Breakfast tortilla cups


What’s that? You’d like seconds? All righty, then!


breakfast enchiladas

Make-ahead breakfast enchiladas


I’m going to save the remainder of Paula’s recipes/gifts to foodies for another day. Fair warning: Food plays a big role in this series so expect more gastronomical reasons to remain in the land of the living. And I admire anyone who can create dishes that are more complicated than frozen pizza. (Which means I admire everyone in the world except myself.)

Until she appears here again you can find more of Paula Roy’s delicious work here and here.


OTTAWA, ON. DECEMBER 9, 2013 — Paula Roy makes delicious edible gifts in her Ottawa kitchen Monday. (Julie Oliver/Ottawa Citizen) #115362. LIFE. Sonia Mendes.

See you in the lobby, friends…


About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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15 Responses to 100 Reasons To Not Kill Yourself: #61.

  1. I too love eggs, scrambled, boiled, poached or fried. The last three lovely in which to dunk toast soldiers……… unless I want a boiled egg sandwich, then they are hard boiled and the yolk is set.
    Bread and butter pudding……….. yummy, that’s made with eggs and milk. Dammit…….. I’m hungry now!

  2. What I love about Sunday (of many things) is the idea of a creative egg dish along with sausage or bacon. Yeah, I would definitely have to double think doing anything to miss that experience. Well done, Hook.

  3. I, too, am an egg person! And to describe to you just how much, my favorite food other than eggs are the chickens that hatched them. Ha..Ha.. I’d probably going hungry without our fine, feathered, clucking friends. Give me chicken, in any recipe, any day of the week. And eggs? Sooo many possibilities. I love making breakfast burritos, and you gotta try my recipe for breakfast pizza with velveeta cheese or nacho sauce (your preference), scrambled eggs, bacon, diced onion, lightly cooked (shredded) hashbrowns, topped with mozzarella cheese; to die for. And let’s not forget deviled eggs, egg salad sandwiches, quiche, etc. Still my favorite is…just a hard boiled egg dipped in salt and pepper on a saucer. So freaking satisfying.
    Thank for the post! Now I’m hungry, Hook!

  4. Mark Myers says:

    I love eggs too!

  5. Doug in Oakland says:

    I used to admire breakfast cooks who could crack two eggs at once (actually, I still do) so it was especially satisfying when I had to learn how to do so myself when I cooked breakfast shifts at the Buttercup in Berkeley for a couple of years. (Hint: you have to crack a whole case of eggs into a bucket at the beginning of your shift, so you’ll learn to crack them two in each hand out of boredom after a while.)
    I think I did OK as a breakfast cook, because I still like eating breakfast at a restaurant, and that means I don’t have any memories of it that would kill my appetite. Getting up at 4:30 AM sucked, but a leisurely breakfast scramble with cheese and andouille sausage on my break before the lunch rush was nice.
    Still, Briana makes better omelettes than I do, and damn, we just got home from the grocery store, why didn’t I buy stuff for her to make them with?

  6. Dave Ply says:

    Cruel, Hook. I was hungry before I started reading this post. Now…
    Keep these life affirming posts coming though. (Just in case you needed egging on.)

  7. curvyroads says:

    A funny, and yummy, post, Robert!

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