100 Reasons To Not Kill Yourself: #67.

If you’re reading this first thing in the morning then you’re obviously punch-drunk and not in control of your faculties, but most importantly, you may have proved my point for today.

If not, think further back to those first blissful moments of consciousness and the quasi-amnesia that often accompanies them.

#67: How You Feel When You First Wake Up.

We’ll sometimes go to extraordinary lengths to forget our troubles and even our entire identity. We create false personas on social media. We use assumed names while on vacation. The truly bold will become more vivacious, uninhibited models of depravity on party lines and online chat rooms than they would ever be in real life. I’ve never felt the need to go these extremes; “The Hook” and Robert Hookey are one and the same in every way.

But I’m the exception to thousands of society’s (and nature’s) rules.

And if you’re like me the only time you “forget” everything about yourself is when finally slip free of the Sandman’s power and you awaken to begin a new day. In those initial seconds you are experiencing a state of Tabula rasa (a Latin phrase often translated as “blank slate”, or “Trumpian mindset” in English) and you could be anyone, anywhere.

It’s actually quite cool if you think about it.

Which I have, for you.

You’re welcome.

Regardless of your pain, your challenges, the state of your life, we are all the same when experiencing this form of temporary memory loss. Your body is just starting to spring back to life and your mind has yet to catch up. And so in those nanoseconds you have to search for your character and circumstances. Some of us even ask questions like:

“How much did I have to drink (or smoke) last night?”

“Did I really get a tattoo of Herve Vilchez in Korea town?”

“Who’s the midget?”

Nevertheless, until everything resets you are free of your current situation, whether it’s good or bad, and there’ something beautiful about that. It also illustrates that pain and depression can be a state of mind that are within your ability to control, to a certain degree at least.

So try to enjoy the Tabula rasa the next time you wake up, it could give you the perspective you need to carry on.

See you in the lobby, kids…


Enjoy it while it lasts…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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11 Responses to 100 Reasons To Not Kill Yourself: #67.

  1. Tara says:

    And also, that “today is a new day.” We have the power within ourselves to drive the direction it goes. (To a reasonable extent, in the sense that some emotions are difficult to completely let go of, like grief.) I live by this, most of the time, and when I can’t – I just take it “one day at at time.” Lots of cliches here, but they are simple and work for me.

  2. dianaepona says:

    Originating from the Roman “tabula” or notes. This was blanked by heating the wax and then smoothing it. Kind of the ancient equivalent of the backspace button. (Loved this one especially since I have studied Latin from the 10th grade forward. Don’t bother trying to figure out how many years that would be. You don’t have enough fingers and toes. 🙂 It’s so easy to forget we always have the option of a new beginning, especially when we have hit our personal rock bottom. And sometimes that new beginning isn’t exactly the one we would prefer. But it’s there. It’s a start. And there are usually helping hands reaching for us, praying we will respond. Oh, those precious first few moments of “in between.” All we have to do is breathe, and be. Bless you, Hook!

  3. A new beginning is great. Unless like in my youth I explained away the previous night’s faux pas with the rationalization, “At least no one got killed.”

  4. Umm…I must’ve missed out on my Tabula Rasa this morning. The first thing that popped in my mind was the dream I had awoken from in which I was Mario in Super Mario Bro’s 3, running frantically through obstacle courses trying to gather items to save the Princess. Ugh! I gotta kick the Old Man in the ass when he gets home for purchasing that vintage system for me. FYI: Don’t play it when you have insomnia.
    I’ve been away for a while, but thought I’d stop by and see what The Hook has been up to. “How much did I have to drink (or smoke) last night?” Ha..Ha.. That sounds oddly familiar!

  5. Doug in Oakland says:

    The possibility of a new beginning is very inspiring if you can make yourself let go of some of the fear of the unknown that can sometimes accompany it.
    Any access to that mindset can make a big difference in how you approach your day, in my experience, and indeed whether you feel like doing so at all.
    I don’t sleep eight hours at a stretch any more, but I clearly remember what it was like to wake from it when I did.

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