100 Reasons To Not Kill Yourself: #69.

Today’s selection truly zeroes in on my recurring theme of “the little things can make all the difference in the world.”

A wise man once said, “It is better to look good than to feel good”. But I say, “Why not do both?”

#69: Clean Clothes.

Yes, even something as seemingly-simple as a clean outfit is worth living for, trust me.

Anyone who has ever slept in their car (even for one night) can attest to this. Or if you’ve been camping somewhere without access to showers or even a clean lake, then you know what I’m talking about. There’s a film of dirt that never leaves, it simply attaches itself to your form and leaves you feeling like you want to jump out of said skin.

But you can’t, so you’re screwed.

So need to get clean – no matter what. But even after you’ve scrub-a-dub-dubbed yourself back to humanity, there’s still the matter of your “second skin”.

That’s when you need to either crack open that washing machine or that closet door, bub. Clean clothes feel great (don’t forget that dryer sheet!), smell great (if you’ve done a masterful job adding the correct formulation of laundry detergent to the mix) and look great (assuming you haven’t washed all the color out of the suckers). I’m not allowed to do the laundry in our house anymore but if you’re not, then you’re halfway to your goal!


This is essentially laundry day in my house.

A crispo, cleano shirt, even if it’s one of many layers, feels amazing against your skin. Dry (moist feet are the Devil’s greatest joke) clean socks reinvigorate your tootsies and make you feel like you could walk for miles. Clean pants are essential, in my humble opinion. And clean underwear? That’s the gift that keeps on giving, my friends.

I’m not suggesting you spend hours and go into debt recruiting a fashionista to put together the perfect ensemble; most of my clothes come from Wal-Mart and comic book stores and conventions across North America and I’m a happy, (relatively) functioning member of society. But once again, clean clothes can make you feel good while making you look like someone worth taking seriously and not a raging degenerate.

And isn’t that what we all want?

So save some of those Tide Pods for the laundry room, muchachos, they could save your life.

See you in the lobby, kids…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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20 Responses to 100 Reasons To Not Kill Yourself: #69.

  1. Theresa says:

    I couldn’t agree more! Nothing like a clean body and clean clothes to wear regardless of color coordination. It makes you feel so good. The one thing that you may want to note is this. I’ve found that bachelors in particular tend to leave their clothes in the washer overnight (sans a laundromat) then put them in the dryer and call it clean. When in fact you can smell them coming a mile away. That musty, moldy, sour smell! I worked with such a guy many years ago. Then finally I pulled him aside and told him about it ever so gingerly. Turns out he had no idea where the smell was coming from! And THIS guy was a rocket scientist! Just because they’re brilliant doesn’t mean they have common sense! LOL!

  2. Have never minded getting dirty, but hate being dirty. Nothing like a hot shower or better, a lng hot soak in a tub of aromatic bubbles.

  3. Yeah, I have at agree. Fresh shirt, fresh outlook. Nicely done, Hook

  4. I’ve never been impressed with a man who smells like sweet cologne that he recently put on. I’ve always been impressed with a man he smells like clean sweet soap!

  5. Doug in Oakland says:

    Clean dry socks have brought me out of some bad and deteriorating mental states.

  6. Ever notice, say it’s a summer Saturday, and you put on a regular shirt, then remember you’re going to do some dirty project and put on a scraggly old shirt instead, then days later if you go back to put that first shirt on (cuz it oughta be clean), that your clean self wore for 5 minutes or less, it still seems dirty somehow? And I know this sounds like some sort of internet click-bait headline, but whatever happened to 69?

  7. I’m one of those werido people who doesn’t mind doing laundry. I usually do it all in one day except for sheets. I do those on Fridays. But I do laundry thoughout the week to stay ahead. My hamper is rarely full. It is a nice thing to have 😉

  8. Tara says:

    I couldn’t agree more. I am often in the habit of showering twice a day on work days, so I can slip into bed clean and refreshed. Best thing ever. (Well, almost. There might a thing or two better. 😉
    I also recently started clearing my closet of old things and actually BUYING new things (and not necessarily new, just new to me) just for me, without guilt for the first time in 25 years. Feels great.

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