100 Reasons To Not Kill Yourself: #84.

I’m a pretty direct guy but depression isn’t an irritating co-worker or that crazy UPS guy that keeps delivering your Austin Powers Authentic Swedish Penis Pump in the neighbor’s yard that you can confront face-to-face.

No, you have to take an indirect route to face down this bully. Sometimes that means taking a break to catch your breath and other times it means you have to educate yourself before rushing into battle. Fortunately, there are moments when you can do both.

#84: Books.

To be perfectly clear, I’m not discussing digital books, or “e-books” or whatever the hell they’re called these days. If you want to read a tome on a Kindle or a Spindle or whatever the proper term is… Go for it! Just don’t buy me one unless you want to see it on YouTube under the “Things Dropped From A Fifty-Story Hotel Tower In Niagara Falls” category. But if you do, then by all means, purchase you one for me and have it gift wrapped. I’m partial to fuchsia wrapping paper.

But for me a book is a thing, a physical object I can hold in my hand that will provide me with hours of pleasure and enlightenment. And no, you perverts, I wasn’t referring to that object I can hold in my hand that provides me with hours of pleasure. Grow up, people.

I’ve loved books ever since I was a kid (and not just because I was a ginormous nerd with very few friends) and my love for them has grown ever since. I love everything about books and the process of reading them.

That crack of a new edition’s spine.

That smell of a vintage tome. (Even a musty one.)

Carefully separating pages and never, ever, licking one’s finger to do so.

If you’re too broke to afford a vacation because you lost all your money on Bitcoin,  books can take from your favorite chair to Mordor or Wonderland in seconds. You may be confined to a wheelchair in the real world but soaring with Superman in Metropolis. That love affair with a 17th century prince is mere pages away even though you haven’t had a date in two years.

Books can help you understand why you don’t have the strength to get out of bed even though your doctor says there’s nothing wrong with you. Self-diagnosis can be dangerous as hell and can lead you down the wrong path but the right medical volume can give you the push you need to seek out a professional opinion.


What did I say? Bad kitty!


Whatever your need or desire there’s a book out there for you. So get reading, Poindexter!

See you in the lobby, friends…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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16 Responses to 100 Reasons To Not Kill Yourself: #84.

  1. StillWaters says:

    Amen to this, Hook. I love books and I mean the real deal. Last winter I hunkered down and re-read (for the first time) Harry Potter from 1 to 7, as well as some other favourites. This year I’m going through a few first-time-for-me books. Books+cats+a wee dram of Bailey’s with my coffee. Not bad.
    Happy reading!

  2. Tara says:

    Love my books! Just committed to Popsugar’s reading challenge and I’m on my third book so far. Goals. 🙂

  3. ladyryl says:

    The other thing one must never do to a book it dogear the corners… if you are going to read, invest in *Something* as a bookmark!

    I do read digital books too… I only have so much space for books, so I grab e-books to flush out my reading list.

  4. I endorse this reason for not ending it all, Hook. Long life to those who read books.

  5. Doug in Oakland says:

    This is a good one, Mr. Hook: from almost whatever state of physical health you might find yourself in, you can still enjoy a book. I was reading a Lynn Margulis book in my hospital bed after my stroke before I was able sit up.
    It was a little difficult to read when I went blind from cataracts, but I found I could read off of my computer screen with the aid of a card with a slot in it and holding my head at just the right angle…
    But thanks to Dr. Huang and the team at Highland Hospital, (and Obamacare) I can see again, and that in itself is a good reason to stick it out and hang around for a while. The colors of the afternoon sun on the trees left a big impression on me the day I got my bandages off after my first surgery.
    Thank you for doing this, there’s a lot of pain in the world just now.

    • The Hook says:

      There certainly is, Doug.
      We’ve both lived through more than our fair share; I hope I can help reduce a fraction of that suffering with my offbeat world view and humor.

  6. Philistine! Cracking the spine is a crime against humanity

  7. curvyroads says:

    Reading can also be seriously damaging to ignorance, so there’s that.

  8. Reading has gotten me through some really bad places in my life. So has writing. It has been my friend when I have needed to escape and still is when I need to think about ANYTHING else but the stress in my life. Books are indeed a good reason! ❤

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