100 Reasons To Not Kill Yourself: #86.

Here’s the thing about suicide; it’s not just a question of psychological depression, there are psychical maladies that can drive us to the point of no return.

Whatever the cause, we’ll often contemplate ending it all when we feel overwhelmed, when our challenges are compounded and everything’s moving too fast. When our heart’s beating so fast our chest feels bruised. When checking our e-mail or snail mail or phone messages makes us physically ill.

Those are the are times that we just need to slow down…

And there’s no better way to do that than with a nice cup of tea.

#86: Tea. (Yes, tea!)

I realize this isn’t the beverage of choice for many of you, to say the very least, but as a recent convert to the bagged beverage I can personally attest to it’s amazing qualities.

I used to drink Coca-Cola by the barrel, but once it began to burn a hole in my stomach? Then I got smart. IBS is more than just one of those magnificent afflictions that’s gained notoriety thanks to television commercials, it’s a way of life for yours truly.

I can’t drink soda or any carbonated beverage anymore. Meat is something that should only be consumed sloooowly and in moderation. Anxiety, depression and other mental health issues are associated with IBS, so my life is just peachy at times. Stomach aches are my number one issue and I suffered in anything but silence until my wife suggested tea. Well, “suggested” is a bit mild. I think it was either try tea or sleep in the garage – minus my nuts.

So tea it was!


Tea always seems to help Sherlock win the day. Or maybe it’s the opium?

But don’t take my word for it. (I’m a well-known scoundrel.) Do your due diligence on tea. Or just read the bullet points.

  • Tea contains antioxidants. (Oxidants get such a bad rap these days.)
  • It has less caffeine than coffee. (And you’re less likely to shake like a Kardashian in a library after a few cups of tea.)
  • Tea may reduce your risk of heart attack and stroke. (And if it gives you a chance to pause and catch your breath, suicide.)
  • It may help with weight loss. (Especially if you sit home with a pot of tea rather than a few Whoppers or KC.)
  • Tea may boost the immune system. (A healthy immune system means a healthier life, which will also reduce the temptation to end your life prematurely.)

And lest we forget, the Brits love their tea. Any beverage that inspires an entire nation of people to set aside a specific block of time each day solely to consume it is pretty kick-ass, in my opinion. Of course, Rednecks will devote every hour of the day to drinking beer if possible, and I’m willing to be that most of them don’t commit suicide – but that’s an entirely different topic.

As for the United Kingdom and it’s residents, all that tea seems to have made the ladies successful actresses and the men (and their accents) are virtually irresistible to women everywhere. British men have made more ladies drop their panties than a gynecologist.

So take a step back, brew that pekoe and just… pause and reflect. Or better yet, just drink and don’t think about anything at all. If my life is any indication, ignorance really is bliss.

See you in the lobby, friends…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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28 Responses to 100 Reasons To Not Kill Yourself: #86.

  1. davidprosser says:

    Any ladies that would like to discuss your problems with a British man over a cup of tea, apply here.

  2. Doug in Oakland says:

    I used to work in a wholesale warehouse that carried about ten different brands of tea, including one called Traditional Medicinals, which seemed to have a medicinal tea for any ailment you could think of. I caught the flu once while working there, and was so desperate to feel less terrible, that I tried some of the tea they had in the breakroom for exactly that purpose, and damn, I felt better.
    I wasn’t cured or anything, so don’t take this the wrong way, but all of the sudden I could breathe again, and bending down to mark boxes didn’t hurt any more.
    That payday I had my boss deduct a case of TM tea from my check and I took an assortment of cold remedy teas home with me.
    They were just one out of about ten brands of tea we carried, though, and while I had my work discount, I always kept the cupboard stocked with it.
    I also worked with a British guy at a restaurant, and he was insanely picky about how he made his tea, but was an all-around decent guy and a good guitar player, so we didn’t bug him about it.

    • The Hook says:

      A Brit that loved his tea?
      Whoever heard of such a thing?
      Thanks for weighing in again, Doug.
      You’ve elevated this series and I’ll be forever grateful.

  3. Barbara CASWELL says:

    Well done Hook, I love this blog on Suicide and depression. These 2 diseases run in my family and I had my time in my 30’s. Talked to a professional and got my life back on track. I take my Mediation everyday and talk to my physiologist when I get to down on life. It’s okay to just have down time and find a place to quite the mind.
    Thank you Hook for sharing this with us all❤
    And for TEA , I do love love my Coffee but I do drink tea.
    Love you Hook ❤❤❤

    • The Hook says:

      And I feel the same, Barbara.
      Thank you for stopping by and by the way, you’re one of my heroes for fighting so hard for your happiness.

  4. Love tea and believe it can save lives. Who could pass up a cup of black tea? Not too many.

  5. The jury’s out on the value of antioxidants, on the efficacy in reducing stroke, effect on weight loss, and boosting the immune system. Less caffeine, yes, but then there’s the theophylline thing just to confuse the issue. However, tea is my drink of choice, and has been since I was knee high to a hubcap. Two bits of guidance for my Transatlantic friends. You need BOILING WATER to make tea, not a glass cup of tepid. Milk is acceptable. Sugar is not. Here endeth the lesson

  6. Sofia Leo says:

    In my family, everything stops for a cuppa, especially on a hard day. We revel in the ritual of heating the kettle, preparing and steeping the tea, adding sugar and milk, sitting down to blow on it to cool it faster and then sip slowly until the entire cup has been drunk up, and suddenly the world seems a little more manageable.

  7. susielindau says:

    I got an Instahot water tap for my birthday and drink tea several times each day! I keep my panties on, however.

  8. dianaepona says:

    I used to do a whopping rendition of “I’m a Little Tea Pot” when I was much younger. If I tried it now, my spout would be useless, and my lid would go rolling across the floor. No matter. Tea is awesome, and on certain days, make mine an Imperial Spiced Chai!

  9. I love a good cup of tea, and these days it’s more often an herbal or medicinal tea than black. And yes, physical illness, can definitely leave a person in all sorts of pain, which over time leads to depression, etc. When I had IBS, I couldn’t leave the house many days. Lucky for me, I discovered my IBS was undiagnosed food allergies. If you’re not following a FODMAP diet, you may want to give it a go.

    This post reminded me of a neighbor of ours who took his life due to unrelenting and uncontrolled pain from some illness he developed. Makes me sad he didn’t know about self hypnosis for pain control, or the healing arts.

  10. Tea can be very good for you! I like tea especially Oolong Tea! But I will have coffee over tea most days if it is something hot. Or hot cocoa which is my favorite! But tea is good! ❤

  11. List of X says:

    And you can drink and drive, if you are drinking tea! Though, drinking tea while driving is still a bad idea – a cupful of hot tea accidentally dropped into your lap can cause an accident more likely than a few shots of vodka.

  12. curvyroads says:

    I’ve got to give tea another chance…recently even half-caf coffee has given me the jitters like your shaking Kardashian! 😯

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