100 Reasons To Not Kill Yourself: #87.

So you feel like the walls are closing in, the wolves are at the door, and you’re at the end of your rope.

But why do you feel that way?

If you feel like a loser you need to ask yourself a simple question: Whose barometer of success am I using? In other words…

#87: Fuck The “Rules”!

Yes, I’m breaking my self-imposed rule against cursing on this site – but that’s the point exactly. Who says your life sucks so bad you need to leave it behind in the first place?

So what if your house looks like it hasn’t seen an update since the first Wall Street crash of the Twenties? At least it’s yours. Some people are reading this from their parents’ basement. Which again, is fine; at least they’re not homeless. And if you are homeless… At least you’re not dead. Where there’s life there’s hope. Always.

You’ve been with the same partner for over twenty years and the rut is becoming unbearable? At least you’re getting laid. (I hope.) Even bad pizza is still pizza and it’s the envy of a starving man.

Donald J. Trump may not be setting the world on fire with his presidential prowess but he still beat all the odds (and defied logic) and made it to the White House. And his entire cabinet took a step up and left the looney bin behind.

Kevin Hart may be a homophobic prick in the eyes of the world at the moment but he’s still responsible for some great films (Night School was magnifico) and he’s still one of the funniest homophobic pricks on the planet, so…


Charlie Sheen may have HIV and a career in tatters bu the also has people who love him and past triumphs to keep him warm at night. And so do you.


We spend so much time obsessing over what we don’t have that there’s no time left to be grateful for everything we do possess. Screw the idea of keeping up with the Kardashians, just thank Dog that you’re above ground. Celebrities, athletes, politicians, authors, whomever you envy, just know that they’re never as happy as they appear. I don’t care who you are or what you’ve achieved, we all have demons and challenges lurking in the corners of our lives. And never forget that everyone you envy wouldn’t be successful without the so-called “little people”.

We equate fame with success or victory but a single mom who works two jobs to put food in her kids’ bellies and clothes on their backs is as successful as someone who sells millions of records. A veteran who takes those first few tentative steps after losing a limb defending the innocent is as victorious as anyone with an Academy Award.

Take me for example, (seriously, my wife will pay you). I’ve driven my self to a breakdown over a failed book, a stalled blog and numerous failed pitches to the CBC. Dozens of celebrities have said “yes” to my interview requests only to ghost me afterwards. Oh, and I have IBS and I suffer after 99% 0f my meals.

I feel like a loser at times.

But then I remember that I’m married to the love of my life, we have a great kid together, a nutty dog, a big house that’s paid for, and a few pennies in the bank. I’m also a white male (though balding with a gut) who lives in the best damn country in the world – in spite of Justin Trudeau’s efforts to change that.

So I have diddly squat to complain about… Though we all know I still do. Some people may disagree, in fact, I know they do, but I’m not a loser.

And neither are you.

So keep on living life by a set of rules that won’t leave you looking down so often and you’ll be okay. You’re a winner. Period.

See you in the lobby, friends…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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21 Responses to 100 Reasons To Not Kill Yourself: #87.

  1. Define and rule yourself – good one, Hook

  2. What a great post! It is so real! It is a current experience that we are all up against! How do you beat that ? And this post! You nailed it!

  3. Whose barometer of success am I using? Excellent question, dear Hook. I wish I had thought of it this morning when I spent a couple of hours berating myself for being such a broken, fat, stupid loser. I’ll write it done for when I repeat that performance… Which will likely happen the next time I try to take up any of the relocation related tasks that have had me banging my head against the wall — or the next time I have to talk to “customer support” anywhere. Or use one of those voice-auto-menu things. My voice is at that lovely unique pitch that the things can’t hear… and it keeps my profanity muscles exercised.
    TGIF hugs! 😀

  4. Good words, Hook. What drummer beat are we supposed to be marching? Our own of course. Thanks.

  5. Theresa says:

    Hook this is the best you’ve written to date! To the point and to the heart! Good one!

  6. Doug in Oakland says:

    I agree with Theresa, this is the best one so far. Thank you so much for doing this. Things like this can make the difference when times are dark and scary.

  7. We all have something to contribute… even you Robert!! 😘💕

  8. curvyroads says:

    Absofrickenlutely! Best one yet!

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