100 Reasons To Not Kill Yourself: #91.

Even if you’re not politically-inclined this one should still stir something in you.

Even if it’s only disgust.

#91: US President Donald Trump.

To begin with, for those of you who are still here, this post is not an endorsement of American President Donald J. Trump, nor am I condemning him. No, this is just your ole buddy, The Hook, pointing out an irrefutable fact.

From the second he announced his presidential run – which was more like a political wildfire – Donald Trump made the US political scene (and the world) the most exciting place in the Multiverse.

He banged a porn star. Stormy Daniels said she hated it and that she wasn’t attracted to Trump at all. And yet, she admits no one forced her to engage in said coitus. I thought you only had sex with people you didn’t like when there was a paycheck involved, Stormy?

People assume he wants to “Stormy” his daughter, Ivanka. I don’t know about that, but all I’ll say is that they have the oddest, ickiest father/daughter relationship in pop culture history.

He lies so much his pants are now woven out of asbestos.


Alec Baldwin’s Trump impersonation is worth living for.


The environment isn’t high on his list of priorities (to say the very least). Why save the planet when you can create your own Space Force to ferry you off to Mars when you’ve turned Earth into an uninhabitable ball of gas? And speaking of space… there’s actually a branch of the United States military called Space Force?


Space Force sounds like an Eighties toy line. “Collect the entire Space Force line, kids! Now with Captain Dirk Comet and his space monkey, Beppo!”

Networks like CNN and Fox News have become a pale shadow of what they once were, preferring to focus on destroying the Trump administration rather than maintaining their objectivity. And souls. Honestly, my family watches CNN and Don Lemon every day – but only to see what angle they’re going to attack from. I hate the term “Fake News” but it’s perfect for this age of media absurdity.

The media’s collective rampant bias has overshadowed any and all of President Trump’s economic victories, of which there have actually been many. Yes, Wall Street has been reeling for months from insane highs and lows, but overall the American economy has been doing better than it did under the Obama administration.

In spite of that the world continues to feel the shock waves of Trump’s unique leadership style.

Donald Trump plans on selling billions of dollars in weapons to a prince that had an American journalist tortured and killed on foreign soil and his response to the world’s outrage? “Well, we don’t want that  money going to Russia or China, do we?”

I could go on and on ad infinitum but I don’t really need to, do I? The fact is, there’s a new development every day. The Trump presidency is the gift that keeps on giving.

Why would you want to miss all this delicious chaos? To some these are the End Days. To me they are the Days of Discovery, days that will force us to examine who we really are and what we stand for.

Thank you, President Trump, for giving us all a reason to get out of bed every day. 

See you in the lobby, friends…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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24 Responses to 100 Reasons To Not Kill Yourself: #91.

  1. davidprosser says:

    I’m sure Fox News isn’t focused on destroying the Trump administration. They’re trying to get Sainthood conferred, and I’m sure Trump inherited a growing economy from President Obama so he isn’t due the credit. Since here’s nothing positive I can say about the man I’ll leave it there. I look forward to the days of the next President who can leave it in his trousers for more than 5 minutes.

  2. dianaepona says:

    Thank you, David Prosser. Agreed. And I’m too busy packing, throwing out crap I don’t need, and updating passports to keep an constant eye on the buffoon in the White House. As an observation, health care is moving out of the reach of the common man in these here united states. Yeah, I could go on and on as well, but there’s little point. Instead, let me say that I absolutely refuse to make life easy for those who would prefer I’d just disappear. I’m hanging around for as long as the Universe will let me, and I have no intention of being quiet while I do. Especially when we have an unenlightened would-be despot sitting in the oval office.

    • Theresa says:

      I agree with David Prosser too! Every administration inherits the economic issues put in place by the previous administration. So saying he has done the economy good is not true. What he HAS done is embarrass the United States (me, you everyone that is American) with his chronic lies. Today, I am working without pay because of his hissy fit over a freaking wall that we all know will not work. Case in point, the Berlin Wall! He’s an idiot and although he is comic fodder for anyone outside of the US, he is a boil on the ass of our American ideals. I’ll say no more!

      • The Hook says:

        You’ve said, enough, Theresa!
        And thank you for doing so.
        This is exactly what I was hoping would happen; an open, honest dialogue rocks.

    • The Hook says:

      Don’t you go anywhere, D!

  3. Watching Trump is like watching a daytime talk show. You can’t help but wonder when the fistfights will break out. Nice job, Hook.

  4. I really enjoy reading you, Hook, but there’s absolutely nothing “fake news” about attacking Trump. He is the biggest liar on the planet, a walking embarrassment to mankind, and a continuing danger to the world. Yes, news about him is “hyped,” but it isn’t “fake news” just because the toddler-in-chief can’t abide criticism, due to his creepy dad having no idea how to raise a kid. The only reason to stay alive, besides my love for my kid, as well as a few hobbies, is to eventually see this orange shit-stain ridden out of Washington on a rail, and maybe, just maybe, see the U.S. enter the 21st century as far as realizing that liberalism is the only way to live and conservatism is destroying America.

  5. Doug in Oakland says:

    Well, given the fact that I have more than once exceeded the 4096 character limit in blogging software comment boxes expressing myself about Fergus and the Republican party he leads, I’ll just say here that staying around to do everything in my power to make sure he isn’t re-elected is indeed a valid reason to not kill myself.
    (I call him Fergus because of the song Richard Thompson wrote about him before he rode the escalator of doom. In it he calls him “Fergus Lang”… lately I have been tempted to take up i1, for individual 1, as he has been identified in court documents, but I’m sticking with Fergus for the time being.)

  6. StillWaters says:

    That man is no leader, he is a bully. He’s a disgrace to the US and to the office of President. Shame on the Republican Party for sucking up to him.

  7. charlypriest says:

    Don´t agree completely with you but you wrote it in a intertaining way, fun read.

    • The Hook says:

      That’s all that matters; we don’t have to always agree to be friends, right?

      • charlypriest says:

        You´re completely right, if I didn´t have Friends because of my viewpoint in politics I would be the lonliness person in the world. There are other things that I think are more important. Like this one for example.

  8. He really does keep on giving. We’ve got some wackos in politics this side of the Pond, but none to match him in terms of his unique combination of intelligence, stupidity, and childish petulance. And as far as I’m aware, incest doesn’t feature highly anywhere in the Commons, though you can never really tell with the Lords. 😉

  9. curvyroads says:

    I wish that the major networks were more focused on destroying the trump administration, although I know that is not their purpose. I also wish they would stop giving him airtime for his ludicrous lying. Rant over. 😎

  10. List of X says:

    I agree that Donald Trump is definitely entertaining. As for whether this type of entertainment is worth living for, well, that’s debatable. 🙂 However, if you’re outside of the US and can afford to tune out, then yes, curiosity for how much worse it’s going to get is most likely greater than any discomfort of being subjected to this entertainment.

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