100 Reasons To Not Kill Yourself: #96.

I know you’re hungover but this one is as timely as all get-up… So tough noogies.

Yes, I’m a polite little devil, aren’t I?

#96: The New Year.

New Year’s Eve isn’t just an excuse to party and drink until you wake up the next morning on the front lawn without any pants on, it’s an opportunity to reflect on the previous year’s highs and lows and more importantly, to remember that a new year means a new start.

This is the perfect time to breathe in that new air, gaze upon that new sun, stare up at that new sky and realize that none of them have actually changed… But you can if you have the courage to do so.

I know it won’t be easy. I know change doesn’t come easy to us humans; we’re creatures of habit who find it far easier to destroy rather than create, or re-create, as the case may be. But as Dr. Phil is fond of saying, “Perception is reality”. He means it in a negative way but it can mean just the opposite. You can’t control every aspect of your life (so don’t go pulling a Superman and leap from a tall building) but you can control how you react to life’s challenges.

I know what you’re thinking, but Marilyn didn’t actually kill herself… I’d bet the farm the Kennedys took her out. So her inclusion here isn’t counter-productive at all.


You can start small and ease into the new you as you would with a new car (sliding your buttocks across that fine Corinthian leather is one of life’s greatest pleasures) or a new lover. I’m not suggesting you do anything cray-cray like cut out coffee, no sirree. The first hotel I worked at employed a reservation agent named Carol who decided her New Year’s resolution would be to cut out coffee.

Carol lasted three hours. Then she told a pushy grandma from Salt Lake City she was going to strap her six incontinent poodles (who said grandma insisted should be allowed to stay in the room with her) to “her boney ass and toss them all over the Falls.” Amazingly enough, she got away with that one.

Then she stabbed a maintenance guy with a nail file.

We practically poured the java down Carol’s throat. Admittedly, Carol was always right on the edge anyway – but coffee made her less murderous.

So don’t be Carol, be you, but a you that embraces change with cautious optimism. Make the most of this new year and it’s infinite possibilities. I wish you luck as you choose the mystery of tomorrow over the despair of today.

See you in the lobby, kids…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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20 Responses to 100 Reasons To Not Kill Yourself: #96.

  1. davidprosser says:

    Don’t die, you’ll never get bacon again.

  2. “you can control how you react to life’s challenges.” Well done. Take a moment and take a breath ( and maybe ask yourself, “In 100 years will this really matter?” before taking any action.)
    That coffee attempt is so real – as well as hilarious.
    Behavior experts often insist in order to change any human behavior pattern successfully, you must have another/desired behavior to immediately substitute : have the will and the way.
    Perfect last line for the post

    • The Hook says:

      You honor me once more, old friend.

      • You know Hook, we’ve been looking at this all wrong. Your novel/screenplay isn’t about the circus of an hotel, your book is about you. A man with a job where he observes humans with a different perspective (You see the humor, pretentiousness, the naive, the ignorant ,the frailties – objectively – and still remain human – like able to see the call girl as a daughter or working mom – and the society lived in. A man who has a family and strives to be a good father and husband. One who’s seen injury and being glad that living with that was temporary – offering new insights about self and life. One who has suffered tragedy and mourns family and friends. One with philosophy gained. And has a dog. All good stories have a dog. Think about it, Hook. YOU are the story – not just the punch line. Seriously

      • The Hook says:

        You honor me again.
        In all seriousness, I’m truly touched by your insights.
        Thank you.

      • An ordinary family man – with a dog – who embraces ComicCon’ childlike joys and hopes, even after witnessing the tumultuous waves of the general public which he tends respectfully, compassion, and with humor at work. But he has known sorrows. And he know The Falls lie.
        Sounds like a marketable novel/movie protagonist to me. At least start a journal for reference for in the future. You are capable of great writing with universal depth.
        Seriously. (Besides Canadians are so popular HAHA!)
        Just write.

  3. dianaepona says:

    Great piece, Hook. Here’s to 2019, and change. From a meme: 2019 – Walk barefoot, share your magic, take longer walks, be freaking brave, dream more, read lots of books, go on road trips, adventure, love harder & live loud, be kinder to yourself, be a nice human, watch sunrises and sunsets, lie out under the stars and moon, give assholes the boot. Not a bad plan, over all. May 2019 bring you and your family peace, prosperity, health, and unlimited good opportunities!

  4. Yes. You never know what’s just around the corner. Just out of sight, that could make all the difference. This is what doing healing work taught me. In fact, after looking around and trying this and that, I found healing modalities that made change, very easy and painless.

  5. Doug in Oakland says:

    Coffee is a stimulant, and stimulants can be habit forming, and habits are very hard to change indeed, especially as you get older and have more invested in them.
    I like coffee, but I don’t drink it, as I’m slightly allergic and try to avoid stimulants in general, as I used to like them a little too much, which contributed to my stroke.
    My doctor asked me a while back if I was still staying away from the stimulants and I told him that my only remaining vice was high fructose corn syrup. “Raw?” he asked… “No, mostly in strawberry soda.”
    I adore my doctor, and that in itself is a reason for hanging around for a while.
    Thank you for doing this, it’s important.

  6. I can identify with Carol. Give up Coffee? Pour the hell quoi?

  7. You know, Hook, I’ve been wrestling with turning 65 last year. But you are right, embrace change, I think you must be my Guru.

  8. We had a nice NYE.. just a dinner at a great restaurant and came home and watched TV until after Midnight. I see a lot of changes in my future this year! 😉

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