100 Reasons To Not Kill Yourself: #100.

Admittedly, this may take awhile to complete, but here goes.

#100: It’s All Been Done Before…

Leaping from a great height? Cavemen whose wives ran off with the woolly mammoth milk man started that trend, so unless you land on Sarah Sanders… You’re not living up to your potential, Poindexter.

Pun intended.

Driving your car off a cliff or into a lake? Unless you run into Ann Coulter… You’re not breaking new ground, Eugene.

Overdosing, bathing with an appliance, even watching that Kevin Spacey video on a loop; someone’s already beaten you to the final punch, pal.

Giving up when the sea gets rough, especially during the holiday season, is lame and derivative. Battening down the hatches (whatever the hell that means) and hanging in there like Gary Sinise in Forrest Gump? Now that takes guts. Warming yourself by the fire when your life is burning to the ground instead of screaming like a madman is original. In a world where we’re all striving to fit in and be accepted being an original is a badge of honor.


Even Bill Murray recognized suicide wasn’t worth his time… And he had eternity.

We all get our asses kicked from time to time (I’ve taken more hits than Rocky Balboa) but running into the always waiting bony arms of the Grim Reaper is just copying off your classmate’s paper. Write your own answer and pass the most important test of them all (which, by the way, is life itself) and you’ll feel better about yourself than you ever dreamed possible.

Sure, I’m making it sound like depression is something you can just shrug off like a vampiric mosquito, but we both know it’s anything but, right? While it’s true that the hardest thing about life is living it, if you’re going to be in a game, play the game, and play to win.

A Brief Explanation: As you all know, my life has been irrevocably impacted by the suicide of my one of my best friends in 2017, an event that continues to haunt me. But rather than whine about the past, I’ve decided to do something completely different.

I’ve decided to bitch about the present.

The truth is, I hate suicide and because I live in Niagara Falls, a watery haven for lost souls on the literal edge, it’s a topic than cannot be avoided or ignored. So this is my answer. You may be offended by my DIY therapy – but I’m not going to apologize.

My blog, my rules.

Take what you will away from this direction (it’s only going to be sporadic, not a way of life around here) but the sheer scope of this undertaking means it’s here to stay for now. Yes, I know that’s a little contradictory. Shut up.

So buckle up, friends. See you in the lobby, kids…


About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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27 Responses to 100 Reasons To Not Kill Yourself: #100.

  1. Middle child was greatly impacted when a friend from university took his own life, a life that looked perfect from the outside. She was sad and angry for the longest time, now when the anniversary of his death comes up, she is able to deal with it. Time was the key for her.

  2. You remind me of a line from the lyrics of Kristofferson’s Pilgrim — “He’s a walkin’ contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction, Takin’ ev’ry wrong direction on his lonely way back home.” I love that song. It describes all of us at some point. Peace.

  3. Paragraph #6. Perfect
    It’s not just your life that’s ending, but all those left behind are completely wrecked. Live to save them…or to stubbornly beat all those losers who want you to go through with it. Grrr up and keep going.

  4. Great job, Hook. I think this is the perfect way to handle the pain.

    • The Hook says:

      Thanks, John.
      It just hit me one night.
      I may not be qualified or know just what the hell I’m doing, but when has that ever stopped me?

  5. Theresa says:

    I like your new approach Hook!

  6. Hope 2019 is a good year for you Robert. Sending you positive vibes and thoughts. Take care.

  7. Doug in Oakland says:

    They say that the antidote to death is life, and sometimes life is a struggle or even a fight. Advocating for that fight can’t hurt, so thank you for this. Kind of reminds me of a Bruce Cockburn (another great Canadian, if I remember correctly) lyric:
    “Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight
    Got to kick at the darkness ’til it bleeds daylight”

  8. Another reason to not kill yourself is because there are miraculous things out there called consciousness technologies, that can quite magically (not exactly, but stay with me), affect your thinking, and how you see and feel about yourself and the world around you. And the emotional pain you’re so desperate to escape can be dissolved. One of my favorites is Matrix Energetics. (I speak from personal experience).

    Most people who want to die don’t see how the thread of their life is so intricately interwoven into the fabric of everyone’s lives; how their mere existence is so very important. And that without them, a massive hole and shockwave ripples outward further than they realize.

    Bitch away, my friend! And play on!

  9. Tara says:

    Excellent post, Robert. Harness that inner bitch and run with it. But not with scissors, k?

  10. curvyroads says:

    Peace to you, Robert. ❣

  11. kunstkitchen says:

    Keep going, please!

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