Admittedly, this may take awhile to complete, but here goes.
#100: It’s All Been Done Before…
Leaping from a great height? Cavemen whose wives ran off with the woolly mammoth milk man started that trend, so unless you land on Sarah Sanders… You’re not living up to your potential, Poindexter.
Driving your car off a cliff or into a lake? Unless you run into Ann Coulter… You’re not breaking new ground, Eugene.
Overdosing, bathing with an appliance, even watching that Kevin Spacey video on a loop; someone’s already beaten you to the final punch, pal.
Giving up when the sea gets rough, especially during the holiday season, is lame and derivative. Battening down the hatches (whatever the hell that means) and hanging in there like Gary Sinise in Forrest Gump? Now that takes guts. Warming yourself by the fire when your life is burning to the ground instead of screaming like a madman is original. In a world where we’re all striving to fit in and be accepted being an original is a badge of honor.
We all get our asses kicked from time to time (I’ve taken more hits than Rocky Balboa) but running into the always waiting bony arms of the Grim Reaper is just copying off your classmate’s paper. Write your own answer and pass the most important test of them all (which, by the way, is life itself) and you’ll feel better about yourself than you ever dreamed possible.
Sure, I’m making it sound like depression is something you can just shrug off like a vampiric mosquito, but we both know it’s anything but, right? While it’s true that the hardest thing about life is living it, if you’re going to be in a game, play the game, and play to win.
A Brief Explanation: As you all know, my life has been irrevocably impacted by the suicide of my one of my best friends in 2017, an event that continues to haunt me. But rather than whine about the past, I’ve decided to do something completely different.
I’ve decided to bitch about the present.
The truth is, I hate suicide and because I live in Niagara Falls, a watery haven for lost souls on the literal edge, it’s a topic than cannot be avoided or ignored. So this is my answer. You may be offended by my DIY therapy – but I’m not going to apologize.
My blog, my rules.
Take what you will away from this direction (it’s only going to be sporadic, not a way of life around here) but the sheer scope of this undertaking means it’s here to stay for now. Yes, I know that’s a little contradictory. Shut up.
So buckle up, friends. See you in the lobby, kids…