Hey, Who Wants To Compose A Song For The Hook?

As much as I am a fan of foreplay, sometimes it pays to cut right to the chase.

I have a problem and I’m hoping someone out there in the blogosphere and/or the interweb can help. The short film I’ve written as a sample of what a series based on this blog would look like has run into a few problems but it’s still going ahead.


Word to the wise: if you’re going to schedule a film shoot, and some of your actors are a tad forgetful, maker sure you physically place the request forms they need to book the days off in their hands. Otherwise, your production day will approach and you’ll find yourself perilously short of talent and be forced to reschedule. But enough about some of my other problems, let’s focus on today’s issue, shall we?

I’ve written lyrics for a short theme song to open my film but I’m missing a few key ingredients.

Like music.

And voice talent.

And the talent, funds or ability to secure any of them.

That brings us to this post. It is my hope that one of you burgeoning singers/composers out there will be inclined to make a name for yourself by hitting this challenge so hard you give it CTE. Yes, that joke may have been inappropriate, but admit it, you chuckled, right?

Here are the lyrics. The rest is up to you. Make it a jazzy Broadway number, a hard rock anthem, a country diddy, I’m not paying, so what do I care? Feast on the brilliance that my pasty white mind is capable of:

“This is The Hook’s show, he made it, won’t you stay?

It’s really good, it’ll make your day!

This show’s so good, it’ll make your dog’s tail wag

The Hook’s a bellman… if you don’t tip him, he’ll call you a douchebag

If you’re watching this, you’ve been hooked…

You’ve been hooked…

You’ve been hooked, mutha fucka…”

And there you have it. I leave this task in your capable, musically-inclined hands. As I’ve said, I cannot afford to pay you in anything of monetary value but you’ll get full credit, you can stick your creation on the YouTube (as the kids call it) and who knows? This could be the springboard that launches your music career and leads to fame, fortune, and sex tapes.

Or not.

We’ll see, won’t we?

See you in the lobby, friends.


Put on a pot of coffee and get composing!

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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45 Responses to Hey, Who Wants To Compose A Song For The Hook?

  1. Great catchphrase!!😀

  2. davidprosser says:

    Best of luck with it. Someone can put it to music for you.

  3. Lisa Orchard says:

    I’d help you out, but I can’t sing! LOL!

  4. oceanswater says:

    Wish I could help, but I’m musically illiterate. 😂

  5. Best wishes on this. I can’t sing or compose, so I’m not much help.

  6. Doug in Oakland says:

    All my music software is on my desktop machine, which is in storage, and while I might be able to come up with some music using FL Studio, I don’t have the sort of voice for a theme song. I will ask my friend Raven when I see him again, though, as he has all of the necessary equipment, but it would come down to whether or not he could find someone to sing it.
    If anything happens, or if he wants more info, I’ll post another comment, but I wouldn’t get too excited just yet.

  7. I haven’t a musical bone in my body. I can sing OK (despite my light toned speaking voice, I have a bass singing register) and I can shake my bootie a bit, though I don’t, since it’s no longer dad dancing but grandad dancing. You’re on your own kiddo.

  8. Moving forward!!! Sounds like you are pursuing your dream – which always makes me happy.
    I’m not a composer, but I know someone who is. Lemme see if he had any ideas!

  9. List of X says:

    Well, I could put a melody to the lyrics, but then I’m not proficient enough in any musical software or music instruments to record it in any form that could then be used as a final product. I don’t know if that helps.

  10. StillWaters says:

    By Hook or by crook,
    He’ll make you look
    At his sho..o..o..o.
    You’ve been hooked, emm efff.

    Could this be played using spoons?

  11. kunstkitchen says:

    Uh…gee…I don’t write music. But I write poetry and it’s published in Canada. May I politely observe that your word rhythm is off in you phrasing. But hey maybe that’s not what you are shooting for. Also……
    Why treat your audience so harshly?

  12. curvyroads says:

    Any kind of musical talent is what I have always wished for, alas, that wish has not been granted. I am excited that you are moving forward and I hope that one of your talented readers can bring your words to music!

  13. I see that I have not been visiting your blog lately, bro. It’s fantastic to read that you are in the process of transforming this blog into a small film and eventually a series. Unfortunately, I have no skills in making music, but I wish you all the best of luck.

  14. Allie P. says:

    Best of luck. Songwriting is a skill I lack.

  15. I love music and when my jam comes on the radio I belt it out louder than should be humanly possible. Thank God I am always alone in my car and no one is exposed to the torture that is my voice. I do hope someone can help.

  16. A rock anthem for the ages, right up there with We Are the Champions! LOL

  17. I cannot wait to hear the results. Big pool of talent in blogville.

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