Eyes Wide Shut? Not Quite…

We’ve all heard of beauty that takes one’s breath away; it is the stuff of legend. And Hallmark made-for-TV movies.

But this one is in a class all by itself, friends…

A young lady, a visitor to my hometown, the thriving mini-metropolis of Niagara Falls, recently found herself so enraptured by the frozen magnificence of Mother Nature’s transformative effects on the cataracts themselves that she simply couldn’t bring herself to move from her up-close and personal vantage point at Table Rock. So there she stood, her eyes drinking in the frigid beauty of Niagara from an elevated point-of-view… until she realized her eyes couldn’t drink in anymore of it’s awesomeness.

In fact, they couldn’t drink in anything anymore.

As unbelievable as it at seem, she found herself on the receiving end of nature’s cruel sense of humor. Her eyelids, coated in Niagara’s frosty mist, ceased to function.

Yes, she was blinded by the light, I mean, the mist.

I can only imagine how terrified she must have been in those first few moments, her vision robbed by a force she couldn’t possibly comprehend. Niagara’s cataracts provide power to millions, and millions more stand in awe of that power every year, but be warned, that same power takes as much as it gives. This girl lost her sight, others have lost their lives after being convinced there was a relief to their pain to be found in the cataract’s watery depths.


A word to the wise: Goggles may look goofy, but they could save you life, I mean, vision, people…


As for the young lady in question, paramedics arrived swiftly and determined that a uniquely-Canadian solution to her dilemma was called for.

And so they brought her into the Table Rock complex and sat her down next to the Tim Hortons fryers until her eyes thawed out. You have to love this country.

See you in the lobby, kids…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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38 Responses to Eyes Wide Shut? Not Quite…

  1. Marion Hardy says:


  2. Amazing story, Hook. I guess she blinked.

  3. Tara says:

    Are you TRYING to scare me away from Niagara Falls this time of year?

  4. OMG! Note to self.. don’t go to Niagara Falls in winter. Wait! That’s a no brainer! I don’t do winter…EVER! I don’t do cold. I’m a weinie when it comes to being uncomfortable and cold is definitely one of my discomfort zones. Poor girl… I can’t imagine. Well I can imagine but I can’t relate because you know…the whole cold thing! 😂😂
    Happy New Year dearest!! 😙

  5. susielindau says:

    When I first read this, I thought it was a metaphor. Ha! That is dang cold!

  6. And we fuss about a little salt spray. Whew – chilling possibility.
    (“This girl lost her sight, others have lost their lives after being convinced there was a relief to their pain to be found in the cataract’s watery depths.” fabulous writing. Great line heavy with meaning, emotion, and truth.)

  7. davidprosser says:

    A fairly unique problem Robert but 100% unique solution. Tell me, what do Tim Horton’s friers fry?

  8. List of X says:

    Ah, that explained the girl’s icy stare…

  9. Would I be correct in assuming she wasn’t Canadian?

  10. Wow! That has to be the first time I have ever heard of that happening. On another note…first good press Timmy’s has had in a week.

  11. markbialczak says:

    The Hook delivers the cold truth, direct from a Wonder of the World. I have yet to visit in the frigid of dead winter, sir, but can imagine the beauty making one stare a tad too long.

  12. C.E.Robinson says:

    Wow, Robert! Thought it was fiction at first, then reality kicked in! Geez…that’s scary cold! I’m staying in sunny, warmer SoCal. 😎Christine

  13. shimoniac says:

    I guess this time Tim’s provided the heat, rather than being the recipient of it.

  14. Doug in Oakland says:

    Again, not just Canada. My friend Sara just texted me from ALABAMA to say that she had gotten her snow gear out from when she used to live by Lake Tahoe.

  15. I saw the pics of a frozen Niagra Falls and the first person I thought of was you… Perhaps I’ll save my visit for the summer haha!

    • The Hook says:

      That’s not a bad idea, Suzie…
      Though, to be honest, the crowds can be disconcerting for some. Then again, you’re a trooper… so we’ll see you in the summertime!

  16. jlheuer says:

    You’re kidding? Right?

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