The following moment of levity (my type of levity, at least) comes to you courtesy of New York, New York’s Jewish community (I love these guys for reasons that will soon be made clear) who have descended in record numbers to Niagara Falls this season.
One gentleman in particular has stood out.
For all the wrong reasons.
He made me wait ten minutes while he loaded the cart with every item he owns. (Seriously.) Then he made me stand on the Valet Deck like a slack-jawed yokel as he loaded his far-too-small vehicle with said items. This took a full twenty minutes. (Which is a lifetime in a business where time truly is money.) And all this happened at the peak of check-out time.
Then he proceeded to stiff me.
But only after asking me one of the most inane queries that has ever been posed to me. A question that I’m certain he had pondered for some time.
ORTHODOX JEW: I have a question. Isn’t a genuine “Thank you” just like a regular cash gratuity?
ME: Only in the sense that laughter is actually the best medicine.
OJ: But that’s what everyone says!
ME: Let me put it another way, sir. If, for example, someone was to savagely beat you with an inch of your existence, who would you want dispatched to your aid, an actual licensed medical practitioner… or Howie Mandel?
The Summer of 2017 may not have been my most profitable (to say the least) but it’s been damn entertaining at times.
See you in the lobby, kids…
“You do realize I don’t do this shit anymore, right, Hook? And I was never a real doctor anyway?”