I watch them from the daylight shadows.

I watch them from my fortification of plastic, wood and marble, tucked away in a corner of a rotunda.

I watch them from the corner of their vision.

I am invisible, even when I am right in front of them.

Especially when I am right in front of them.

I watch them pour poison down their throats with feverish abandon, inhale sticks of cancer and ingest pollutants of all kinds in a desperate attempt to “escape” the pressures of their so-called mundane existence.

But there’s no such thing as a mundane existence, not truly. My reality follows a pattern but the only hint of continuity in that pattern is how unpredictable it is. Each day I wake to a new cycle.

A cycle of sanity and outright madness.

A cycle of eccentricity and competence.

A cycle of joy and pain.

I cope with victories and defeats in the same hour, until the hours run out and I leave my post to return to my refuge, my haven where my family’s warm embrace awaits.

I have witnessed the arrival of new life and seen the end of a long life well-lived and both have left an indelible mark upon my soul.

I am a bellman and while they will never remember me when they leave this Place Between Places, it is my destiny to bear witness to their travels and it is a weight I carry proudly.

What lies beneath and beyond is even more fascinating, gang.

Whew, this introspective thing really wipes a guy out! I’m knackered!

Sorry, guys but I’m heading to New York this week so I won’t be posting much but hopefully I’ll return with some bitchn’ stories and pics. As for my lack of material lately… well, I’ve been wrestling with some health issues and life challenges. Did you know there’s actually something called a female orgasm and I’m apparently responsible for initiating it?

Like a guy doesn’t have enough to deal with…

At any rate, I’ll be back with some new 5×5 soon. (I hope!) And if you’re lucky, I’ll have some sweet-but-brief hotel tales and other tales from my far-from-mundane existence.

Until then, see you in the lobby, kids…


My life is currently under construction. How’s yours doing?

UPDATE:Β  Twenty minutes after I hit “Publish” I saw the fattest, blackest thief race through the lobby after stealing a thousand dollars from a hooker. (Never a dull moment is there?)

Exact details are sketchy but from what I’ve been able to gleam, he fled her room, used a staircase to escape that led him to the back of the front office where he almost knocked over a night auditor. From there he raced though the lobby, followed closely by another big (muscular) black dude and a white guy, with the screaming, barely-dressed hooker and one of our security agents bringing up the rear. The hooker was especially entertaining as she wailed, though I certainly felt sympathy for her.


The thief fell into the revolving door, which stalled, but he used his girth to force it open. His pursuers fell into the same predicament but by the time they made their way through, the thief had mowed past a horde of white cheerleaders (only in Niagara Falls on a Sunday) jumped into a waiting car and almost clipped one of our valet drivers.

How’s your Sunday morning been?

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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54 Responses to Them.

  1. Victo Dolore says:

    Safe travels to New York and through those life changes and health issues!

  2. A thousand dollars? She must be good!

  3. nbratscott says:

    About the first part: How poetic!
    The second: DAMN!!!
    Relax on your vacation(if that’s what this is), and don’t forget to tip the bellman!

  4. Mark Myers says:

    Introspective pondering and then a bonus adventure! Wow. It’s almost too much to take in.

  5. B says:

    I was hoping this post was to mention the “lady of the night” and her $1000 … which originally was stated to be a lesser amount at one point during the ordeal πŸ™‚

  6. Tara says:

    I really really love this post. From the eloquent beginning, to the screaming hooker. Can’t wait to hear your take on my city. Don’t forget to visit Washington Square Park, the site of my beloved university. I spent many days watching people in that park. Never a dull moment. Good burgers at Cozy’s on Broadway, just around the corner.

    • The Hook says:

      Cozy’s, h’uh?
      Thanks, Tara.

      • Tara says:

        Well, I certainly HOPE it’s still good. It’s been, um, quite a few years. And Now I know why you’re going. A friend of mine through the diabetes community who is a Serious Advocate and is also a travel writer just made a FB post about where she’s headed and why. I put two and two together and bam! Or just coincidence???

      • The Hook says:

        You’re going to find this hard to believe, Tara… but I’m clueless here!
        Please illuminate me…

      • Tara says:

        I guess I was wrong! I’ve been watching too much Murdoch Mysteries and got sucked into my own sleuthing. My friend is a travel writer who is in NYC meeting with Canadian destination folks to hear about why she should consider visiting them and writing about them. Of course I just jumped to the conclusion that “maybe” Niagara’s most famous bellman would be among them.

  7. Theresa says:

    Wow! That was both moving and (the second part) awesome!
    Feel better Hook! I’m sending positive thoughts and vibes your way! I can’t imagine not being about to read your observations!

    You’re a truly gifted writer Hook! You moved me, once again!
    Have a wonderful time in New York! It’s an amazing city.

  8. davidprosser says:

    Obviously not as lively as yours.
    Heaven help Canada but my bro’ flies out there this week for 6 weeks. I wonder if he’ll end up in your news or maybe be deported before the 6 weeks is up.

  9. dave ply says:

    Philosophy and chaos. Such is life.

  10. Introspection comes hard then there is a hooker drama to bring everything back to reality. Good luck on your travels.

  11. Never a dull moment, eh?

  12. shimoniac says:

    After this, New York is going to seem downright boring. Wave to the Statue of Liberty for me. πŸ˜‰

  13. Rosemary says:

    So, we will have a shift in the force when you hit New York! How awesome is that!? Great insightful piece, though I think you sell yourself short. Or maybe I am the odd one because I remember the people who help me, especially if they have an air of kindness about them. That’s probably just me being a goober, though. Take care working through health issues, and remember you have a voice when it comes to your care. Don’t let it be provider-driven. Crack ’em in the head with a 2×4 if you have to. Enjoy your trip, your turn to be “the other.” Rock on, Hook! πŸ™‚

  14. Safe journey. Be well.

  15. kewsmith says:

    Wow. Really enjoyed as always but in a different way!! Enjoy your time off.

    • The Hook says:

      I’m sure going to try.
      This trip couldn’t have come at a better time; my confidence is at an all-time low – and that’s saying something.

  16. Beautiful!
    Have a BLAST in NYC! How could you not? It’s spectacular. As for tickets to Hamilton…pretty sure you’ll win the PARENTS OF THE YEAR award.

  17. I happen to love your philosophical bit. But I’m a philosophical gal. Say hi to Elizabeth for me (Elizabeth Schuyler, of course). She’s a great great great great cousin of mine. xo

  18. curvyroads says:

    Sometimes we just have to get a little introspective…and you do it well. As for Hamilton, well done getting tickets and I hope your trip is Super!

  19. StillWaters says:

    Wow, Mr. TheHook, you had me at “Them”.

    I thought it was going to be about ants. In a way, it was.
    Have a grand time in NYC.

    Time off is time well spent. Cheers!!!

  20. It is now Wednesday, and I have no idea what happened on Sunday!

  21. Never a dull moment! Can’t wait to hear about your trip to NY! Get some good stories, eh! πŸ˜‰

  22. Austin says:

    My Sunday was hooker free. πŸ™‚

  23. Archon's Den says:

    Very introspective and philosophical. Nice pics, too!
    Some years ago, we endured a cheerleader convention at the Days Inn which used to stand on the other side of the Casino from you. What fun…. πŸ˜‰ 😯

  24. umashankar says:

    You have unhooked the curtains to your heart in this post. The post script is hilarious and celebrates the imminence of the mirrors of the society.

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