I’m No Expert… Sunday Morning Edition.

I’m no expert but I would think that a mother for whom the safety of her brood is supposedly-paramount would exercise extreme caution when carrying out said protection.

Case in point: a mommy dearest who, in her zeal to protect her young (nineish-going-on-thirty) whiter-than-Brooke-Shields son from the “evil bellman and his rolling bellcart of death”, yanked said child by the hood of his Sears brand winter coat. Sadly, her “cure” was far worse than the “disease”, and her child went flying backwards – his feet actually left the ground – before landing flat on his back. The little guy’s expression said it all but he elaborated nonetheless:

“What the hell?  What did you do, bitch?”

Yep, the little fella has obviously been watching far too much BET. Still, he was the highlight of the March Break check-out frenzy… and considering the crowd we got this year, that’s saying something. His creator was stunned, but I found the words:

“The worst part is… he was nowhere near me!”

I’m a little dickens, aren’t I?

See you in the lobby, kids…

Kids, man…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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17 Responses to I’m No Expert… Sunday Morning Edition.

  1. lisaorchard1 says:

    Wow. The little guy had a point though, didn’t he?

  2. He needs a week with my mother. Then again…he’s be dead.

  3. Hahaha..
    Bring that kid to me.😂😂

  4. davidprosser says:

    That was cruuuueeel Robert. Mommy gets berated by monster and feels she didn’t need to do it.
    Pity there was no soap handy when youngster spoke.
    Hugs

  5. No doubt spring break would have been extended to a Canadian prison.

  6. Who the hell still shops at Sears?

  7. He certainly has a way with words.

  8. curvyroads says:

    With a mom like that, he hasn’t a chance…

  9. “rolling bellcart of death” – great phrase
    Hey ever think about adding some of those long chrome plated gladiator spears (like are onon low rider cars) to your cart wheels? Could be fun!

  10. First of all, she shouldn’t have yanked him so hard and NO he absolutely should not have reacted to her that way, but you know what? It is my belief that when a child acts that way it is 100% the parents fault (if said child has normal mind and behaviors) SHE has made a monster… just sayin :-/

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