I’m No Expert…

I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure if you travel to Niagara Falls with your buddies, you hit the rippers (i.e. the strip club) hard, hit Mickey Dees in a drunken stupor, go back to the hotel at three in the morning and harass a butchy lesbian feminist, who then knocks you out cold… your bachelor party is anything but a success.

Though it certainly will be remembered as being epic.

And if your buddies tape the whole thing and insist you press charges (after you regain consciousness after four minutes of not-so-blissful slumber) ignoring the counsel of the Niagara Regional Police officers who strongly advise you to bury the whole sorted mess… you need to rethink your life choices, friend.

I hope you enjoyed “I’m No Expert…” a new recurring segment here on You’ve Been Hooked! Admittedly, it’s brief, but as I have to occasionally tell my wife:

“Judge what just happened by the quality of the experience… not the ticking of the clock.”

See you in the lobby, kids…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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50 Responses to I’m No Expert…

  1. Mark Myers says:

    Are you certain that THIS isn’t precisely your area of expertise?

  2. I like this feature a lot. We all have witnessed what you describe and have to laugh out loud at the memory. Thanks, Hook.

  3. nbratscott says:

    Gr8 new Segment! Short but oh so sweet!!

  4. There is a part of me that would LOVE to witness this hot mess. Something tells me I’m going to love this new segment too.

  5. 1jaded1 says:

    Thoroughly enjoyed it!

  6. Lisa Orchard says:

    I’m sure the bachelor party was epic! 🙂 You should write a book!

  7. susielindau says:

    I’m pretty sure, you’re right… on all counts! Great idea.

  8. Victo Dolore says:

    LOL! Thank you for reinforcing my life choices. 😀

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  10. curvyroads says:

    I think this a a great new segment, and I believe it is just your expertise!

  11. Marion Hardy says:

    Love the new segment Hook although admittedly I have no experience of bachelor parties!

  12. charflew23 says:

    Right to the point…oh Hook you’re the best

  13. List of X says:

    I would call that bachelor party a success, actually. I mean, if the bachelor party does go really well, the groom might start rethinking this whole marriage thing, and that’s not how you want a bachelor party to end.

  14. hehehe I have absolutely NO idea what you’re talking about Hook. The police records have been expunged, and witnesses paid off. I can confidently say that if I fall over in a drunken stupor and no one catches me, then the bruises were already there.

  15. Tara says:

    I’d say the whole experience WAS a success.

  16. Doug in Oakland says:

    I’ve never found it safe to assume that a woman, regardless of her orientation, can’t or won’t throw a punch, but maybe that’s just the kind of crowd I run with…

  17. Not a success? You killjoy. 🙂

  18. shimoniac says:

    Yay, back to funny vignettes from a hotel. 😉

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