While it’s true that other countries aren’t exactly getting in line to poach my citizenship, I could always emigrate to some other foreign power – but I never will.
If I’m going to be a loser (yes, I’m in full self-deprecating mode) I prefer to do it north of the border, especially during Canada’s year-long 150th birthday celebration. Here’s why.
ONE) Workin’ Moms. Yes, this is going to be a highly-personal and subjective list. (My blog, my rules.) The truth is, Workin’ Moms is the best thing to happen to the CBC – and Canadian television – in a long time. This show has taken Canada’s network – which many critics have claimed was in danger of flat lining – and given it a shot of
comedy cocaine Adrenalin right to the ole ticker.
Workin’ Moms is bold. There were completely-bare boobies onscreen in the first few minutes! Yes, you read that right… there were bare breasts on Canadian television at 9:30 on a Tuesday and they had nothing to do with a David Suzuki documentary.
Workin’ Moms is fearless. The F-bomb was dropped. The words “tits” was unleashed. Post-partum depression was a major plot point.
Workin’ Moms is innovative. The pilot featured the most creative use of a breast pump in the history of Canadian TV.
Workin’ Moms (in case you forgot the title) gives a hack like me hope that the CBC may actually be ready for a show like The Bellman Chronicles. Of course, I know it’ll never come to pass, but hope springs eternal and without shows like Workin’ Mom I’d be in my garage huffin’ exhaust fumes all the time instead just twice a week.
TWO) Controversy. A calm, flat political/pop culture landscape is boring as hell. Fortunately, my home and native land has plenty of individuals who are willing to shake things up – mostly by accident.
Conrad Black is a convicted criminal and the greatest blowhard this country has ever produced. This guy’s no longer even a citizen but that doesn’t stop him from telling the rest of us how to run our nation. You gotta love it.
Kevin O’Leary has been a Dragon, a Shark and now, if we’re lucky, he may become a politician. One can only hope he throws his uber-expensive hat in the political ring. People are already calling him “Canada’s Trump”, but at the end of the day he has plenty to offer. Never underestimate the value of a loose cannon when pointed in the right direction, kids.
Canada’s current Prime Minister, young Justin Trudeau, is well on his way to becoming one of this country’s most polarizing leaders. Between all the selfies, glaring conflicts of interests masked as vacations with a Khan (not the Star Trek one) and selling out provincial leaders during town halls, Prime Minister Trudeau has kept political pundits busy. Good for him.
Canadians are all nice and boring? Yeah, right…
THREE) All of you! Being a Canadian blogger means few virtual feuds and plenty of friends/followers. I’ve had the pleasure/honor of communicating with some of the coolest souls on the planet through this blog and Twitter and every single one of them has influenced me in some way. If any of you ever need a kidney, I know a guy in Ottawa…
FOUR) People love Canadians. There’s no simpler way of putting it. Canadian travelers don’t plaster maple leaf stickers all over their luggage by accident; Canucks are revered for their decency, genuine niceness and of course, our bacon. The turh is, chicks dig us, especially in Europe. Of course, many Americans think we’re all ice skating, igloo-dwelling, polar bear hugging schmucks who end every sentence with “eh?”… but we’re cool with that.
FIVE) Tim Hortons town hall meetings. If you ever find yourself in my country and want to really get the lay of the land, find the nearest Timmies, order a double-double, find a comfy seat with a bird’s eye view of the action and sit back and observe Canadians in their natural habitat.
Canucks love their Timmies,, it’s true – but they love sitting in Timmies while bitching about everything from how bad the Toronto Maple Leafs suck (two hundred on a scale of one to ten) to the government’s latest inane tax grab (the newest one, a carbon tax, is particularly disgusting and incomprehensible). Granted, most Canucks rarely do anything about the things that bother them the most (but they’ll burn Timmies to the ground if the server screws up their order). Still, we can bitch and moan with the best of them.
SIX) Canadians are very polite. Some – mostly Americans – view this as a weakness.
Sure, we’ll still kick you in the nuts if you disrespect our culture or grab our fries or beer, but we’ll say, “Sorry I had to do that, but you grabbed my fries and beer while disrespecting Stompin’ Tom Connors… so I had no choice.” afterwards.
SEVEN) The possibilities. My country may seem simple on the surface but Canada is like a still pond: Skim a rock across the surface and the ripples will extend for miles and underneath? Well, underneath the shimmering surface is where the real action is.
So look deeper when examining Canada and you’ll be amazed at what you find. In fact, there’s so much to explore and say about my home and native land that I can only cover so much in one post.
In other words, see you in the lobby and across the highways and byways of the Great White North, kids…