This is how I do a “Thought Of The Day” post, kids, so buckle up…
Castro’s revolution is finally over. Leonard has sang Hallelujah for the last time. The United States of America clearly hates itself and so it has elected a reality TV star to the highest office in the land.
The world keeps on spinning, but these days it feels like it’s about to pop right off its axis. What the hell happened to the world I grew up in? Where are those good old-fashioned values on which the cast of Family Guy used to rely? Why won’t those damn kids – and squirrels – stay the hell off my lawn?
This morning, as I opened the front door to head out to work (after my still-groggy wife refused to give me a reason to be late, I might add) a squirrel peered at me through the screen door, his furry form perched on my porch gate. My reaction was, well…
“I suppose you want a cookie, you furry freeloader! Well, if I can’t get laid, you don’t get a cookie! Get a job!”
Am I having a mid-life crisis? I’m a North American white male in his Forties… of course I’m having a mid-life crisis! What else am I supposed to do… lead a healthy, productive life?
Where’s the fun in that?
Then again, I don’t intend to go off the rails and get a mistress. (“Who’d have you? And if they do… good riddance!”, the wife always says when I raise that possibility.) I won’t spend hard-earned cash on a fast car that the potholed-lined streets of Niagara Falls will tear up in a week anyway. I think I’ll just write snarky posts and tweets.
Come to think of it, this whole mid-life crisis thing sounds like a lot of work….
(And yes, in the future I may leave this sort of thing to Shantelle Bisson, thank you very much.)
See you around, kids…