5×5 With The Hook: Vanessa de Largie.

Vanessa de Largie uses her writing voice to “speak” her mind.

Luckily for us, what’s on Vanessa de Largie’s mind is sex.

Not wearing a bra. Double penetration. Threesomes. Double-blowjobs. Swallowing during oral sex. (Though to be clear, I guess I should’ve said, “swallowing at the climax of oral sex”.)

The point is, Vanessa is fearless in her life (she’d make a sexy Green Lantern) and especially when it comes to writing about S-E-X – and it makes her prose unforgettable. This chick’s been featured in, among others, The Sydney Morning Herald, Penthouse, The Huffington Post (they hate my Canadian guts, so I’m insanely jealous) The Daily Herald, Maxim, The Vocal – and now, my blog.

Yes, the mightily-sexy have truly fallen…

Sex-columnist. Journalist. Actress. Author. Owner and operator of one of the coolest personal cyber-homes on the web. Champion sumo wrestler. (She won the title in Ethiopia but it still counts. Am I kidding? Who knows, it’s me!) Kick-ass blogger. Vanessa can literally do anything she sets her mind to, kids. Of course, she’s human (though I’m guessing she’s Amazon on her mother’s side) and she has to face the same challenges we all do.

The difference is that Vanessa has embraced her inner sexual explorer/adventurer, so she knows exactly how to relieve all the tension life heaps upon a human being in this day and age. Honestly, folks, never underestimate the value of an orgasm or ten. Good (I mean really, “I’m-going-blind!”-good) sex can make you feel invincible and that kind of empowerment can take you anywhere you want to go, kids.

Vanessa is an amazing woman who has inspired and rescued millions (I’m not a mathematician, just go with it) of people with her inner light and wisdom.

All right, enough foreplay! (Yes, I’m a guy, though to be honest, I do actually love the “warm-up” as much as the main event) Let’s get right to it, shall we?

ONE)  You appear to be fearless in the bedroom – or anywhere else you choose to get busy – but are there any sexual peaks you have yet to scale, young lady?

Great question!

(I knock one out of the park every once in a while.)

I’m sure there are many sexual peaks I’m yet to scale. That’s what I love about sex and erotica. The possibilities are endless. There’s always something more to learn and experience. One can always go deeper — harder. I guess I would like to explore sex more with women. I’m bisexual and have been with women singularly and in group dynamics. But I haven’t explored sex with women to the depth I have with men. I find sex with women incredibly sensual. I’d like to delve deeper into that part of myself.

(Okay, I must admit, my glasses fog up every time I read this answer. But Vanessa really is an articulate, fearless human, isn’t she?)

TWO)  If you could be any type of make-up what would you be? (Yes, my mind really is a special place, thank you very much.)

Hmm. Make-up? I think if I could be any type of make-up, I’d be red lipstick. I’m a bit obsessed with orifices. So being a cosmetic that goes on a mouth, sounds good.

THREE)  Why do you think so many of us fear the prospect of cutting loose when it comes to coitus?

People are repressed. People are terrified of letting go, of being vulnerable and being seen. I find refuge in coitus. I find escape in orgasm. When I’m not being fucked often and properly, I go stir-crazy. It’s not good for my mental health. I wish more people could let go and be true to themselves and their desires. It’s a fear worth pushing through.

(I’ll say! But seriously, Vanessa really is wise beyond her years. Incidentally, this is one of my favorite 5×5 answers of all time.)

FOUR)  What’s your go-to food after a long, hard day?

Can it be an alcoholic food-source? After a long hard day, I crave a glass of grape. Preferably a good red wine. Preferably Merlot.

(Hey, your interview, your rules, baby.)

FIVE)  National/global days of celebration are all the rage right now; if you could declare a “Day of Something’, what would it be?

I love this question. I was only thinking about this the other day, when I opened up Facebook and it told me that it was ‘World Smile Day’ and I thought WTF? Who had a meeting and decided this was a good idea? If I could declare a ‘day of something’, I’d officially declare ‘A Global Day of Fuck’. It would be a day for people around the world to focus on their sex lives.

(Wow. Why isn’t Vanessa de Largie running the world?)

“Is this really necessary to ‘maintain the integrity of the interview’, Hook?”

And if you’re not in love with Vanessa’s work yet click on this article and you’ll see exactly why fate brought her into my orbit and onto this blog.

There you have it, friends, a brief glimpse into Vanessa de Largie’s magnificent world. I want to thank Australia’s sweetest resident for taking the time from her sexily-busy schedule to chat with us. I don’t know about you, but I could use a little of Vanessa’s open mindedness – and not just where copulation is concerned. Thanks for joining us today, everyone.

See you in the lobby, kids…