The Hook: Ambiguous Blogger.

In a society where everyone with an electronic portal is pinning, tweeting, posting, Instagramming and sharing every facet of their daily lives from their bowel movements to their post-coital selfies, ambiguity is hard to come by.

But there are those of us who still utilize it.

As much as we can, of course.

Sure, people know my name (both of them), they know where I live (the city, at least), they know what I do to put overpriced bread on the table but there are still some situations involving The Hook that are anything but black and white. As writers the golden rule is to show the reader the story not just tell them a tale, but in my world the circumstances are all that matter. You don’t need to know if a traveler is black, white or purple (don’t laugh, it happens). A traveler’s specifications are irrelevant unless they directly influence my interaction with them.

Some situations are so vague, so common (in my world, at least) that they could never be possibly tied to any one individual.

Thank Dog for that.

For example…

GUEST OF INDETERMINATE FEATURES WHO COULD BE ANYONE FROM ANYWHERE:  (While approaching my desk on a day of the week.)  Hey, Boss! Could I have one of those things that people put luggages on?

ME:  You mean a small child? Many people use their children as pack-horses.

MR. WHO?:  (Giggling uncomfortably.)  No, uh…

ME:  Do you mean a wheelchair? I’m sure Grandpa could crawl or limp through the lobby…

MR. WHO?:  (Chuckling lightly.)  No, those things people use to move their baggages!

ME:  You mean strollers? Because Little Timmy or Janey could ride on Grandpa’s back while he’s crawling…

MR. WHO?:  (Starting to crack.)  No man! I need one of those things people use to transport their baggage!

ME:  You mean therapists? People use them to make their issues… their “baggage” if you will, go away.

MR. WHO?:  (Breaking into a bout of raucous laughter.)  Oh man, you’re something else, buddy! Funniest damn bellboy ever!

ME:  I try, sir. Some people around here wish I wouldn’t, but…

MR. WHO?:  Well, those people are wrong, man! This is the most fun I’ve ever had in a hotel! Well, except for Vegas… but we had hookers and blow there!

ME:  I would never try to compete with hookers and blow, sir, but I am The Hook, so…

MR. WHO?:  You’re a pirate? Or is your junk curved?

ME:  Neither, sir. My last name is Hookey, so –

MR. WHO?:  Oh, that’s boring! What about my bags?

ME:  Where’s your mini-van parked, sir? I’ll send someone out to you.

MR. WHO?:  How’d you know I had a mini-van?

ME:  My powers are vast, sir.

MR. WHO?:  I’ll say! So you’ll send someone like you out to get my bags?

ME:  There is no one like me, sir… but yes.

And that, kids, is how you write a “private” post about a public interaction. How’d I do?

See you around, social media munchkins…