10 Things In 10 Days: #1. (Not Quite The End – But Close.)

As the the midnight hour takes hold once more, a man sits alone in his newly-renovated-but-completely-paid-for-thank-Dog kitchen, save for his non-existent thoughts.

With the exception of a laptop’s glare, darkness surrounds him as he stares at a blank screen, a cursor disappearing and reappearing with alarming frequency. His daylight hours are spent serving humanity’s travelers. He lifts their luggage but it is their baggage that vexes him. Paradoxically, it sustains him, providing precious blog fodder to help keep the demons of the past at bay. Humanity’s madness is his business and at the height of the summer season, business has never been better.

But recent events have proven overwhelming.

His creative engine has shut down.

And so he moves away from the blank screen via weary fingers clicking on a plastic technological rodent.

He engages strangers on Twitter, reading in horror of a soul-sucking entity called Kimye. Devoid of any actual talent or humanity of its own, Kimye appears to exist solely to taunt those who are idolized by millions. He scrolls on, but sadly, inexplicably, Twitter holds no appeal for him on this night.

Even comic book sites, the source of his most vivid dreams, hold no joy for him.

Sheer boredom/desperation brings him to the underbelly of the web: sites that cater to mankind’s libidinous nature. (He makes a mental note to thank his wife for covering up the dining room windows facing the neighbor’s kitchen.)

What happens next is best left to one’s imagination…

Now physically as well as mentally spent, his plight has actually become even more precarious.

“What am I doing?” he thinks, “I just launched a ‘100 Things In 100 Days’ concept, for Pete’s sake! (Which I’ve since changed, obviously.) I’m completely screwed! It’s summer and I barely have time to live a regular (whatever that is) life, never mind being a blogging bellman!”

His back against the virtual wall, he begins to type…

#91: Writer’s Block.

Yep.

I’m blocked like a fat kid whose parents left him home alone for a week with a fridge full of cheese.

See you in the lobby, kids…

Hopefully.