As the the midnight hour takes hold once more, a man sits alone in his newly-renovated-but-completely-paid-for-thank-Dog kitchen, save for his non-existent thoughts.
With the exception of a laptop’s glare, darkness surrounds him as he stares at a blank screen, a cursor disappearing and reappearing with alarming frequency. His daylight hours are spent serving humanity’s travelers. He lifts their luggage but it is their baggage that vexes him. Paradoxically, it sustains him, providing precious blog fodder to help keep the demons of the past at bay. Humanity’s madness is his business and at the height of the summer season, business has never been better.
But recent events have proven overwhelming.
His creative engine has shut down.
And so he moves away from the blank screen via weary fingers clicking on a plastic technological rodent.
He engages strangers on Twitter, reading in horror of a soul-sucking entity called Kimye. Devoid of any actual talent or humanity of its own, Kimye appears to exist solely to taunt those who are idolized by millions. He scrolls on, but sadly, inexplicably, Twitter holds no appeal for him on this night.
Even comic book sites, the source of his most vivid dreams, hold no joy for him.
Sheer boredom/desperation brings him to the underbelly of the web: sites that cater to mankind’s libidinous nature. (He makes a mental note to thank his wife for covering up the dining room windows facing the neighbor’s kitchen.)
What happens next is best left to one’s imagination…
Now physically as well as mentally spent, his plight has actually become even more precarious.
“What am I doing?” he thinks, “I just launched a ‘100 Things In 100 Days’ concept, for Pete’s sake! (Which I’ve since changed, obviously.) I’m completely screwed! It’s summer and I barely have time to live a regular (whatever that is) life, never mind being a blogging bellman!”
His back against the virtual wall, he begins to type…
#91: Writer’s Block.
Yep.
I’m blocked like a fat kid whose parents left him home alone for a week with a fridge full of cheese.
See you in the lobby, kids…
Hopefully.
You've Been Hooked! 
Nothing worse than feeling like the blocked-up fat kid with a now-empty fridge. I hate writers block!!!
You and me both, Amanda…
Condolences Hook…
Thanks, Paul.
Even your writers block keeps us entertained! The only time I’m disappointed with your blog is when I read the words, “See you in the lobby, kids…”
You rock, my friend.
Writer’s block has only one cure. Keep writing. It doesn’t matter what you write as long as you write. I think the 100 things is brilliant, and maybe you should concentrate on finishing that quest. Tell us what you had for breakfast (#90) Who pissed you off the most on Monday (#89) Who made you feel the best on Tuesday (#88) The biggest butt on Wednesday (#87) The most undeserved tip (#86) The most deserved but never got it tip (#85) The best drunk saying of the week (#84) The sweetest thank you of the week (#83) My point is you need to plan to find what to write about rather than trying to recall events to write about. Hope this helps, Hook. (GBY)
You always do, John.
Thanks.
Just keep writing Hook. We need you!
I’ll try, Marion.
I promise.
Write about things closer to who you are: what you usually write about. I think the block is about keeping up with the Jonses- doing the list thing because it’s popular, not because it’s you. Like this post; it came from YOU. And that’s what keeps your regular readers like me coming back. (And I love John Howell’s tips, too).
Thank you for the perspective and tips, my friend.
Sorry hook, I’ve no tips to offer. Just hang in there, I do so enjoy reading what you write!
Best post ever! It rings true to every writer inside ourselves, and it happens every day. Just seeing the email notifications of your posts puts a smile on my face.
Even blocked you keep us entertained! This too, shall pass, but maybe not for the fat kid. 😉
Maybe not…
I started my kitchen 4 years ago… still waiting on the floor so I can call it finished…. out of money! But at least I’ve never put any of it on a credit card… I can’t seem to figure out how to keep up with those evil little things!
“plastic technological rodent.” watch it. Those things byte.