Oh, That Hook!

So Toyota recently had a conference at the hotel – and the fun was flowing like cheap champagne.

Especially when I rode one of the guest elevators and three very chipper Toyota executives boarded consecutively…

TOYOTA EXEC #1:  Hey, I’m Toyota Scarborough!

(To be clear, I don’t think he was the entire dealership, I think he just worked there.)

TOYOTA EXEC #2:  I’m Toyota Philly!

TOYOTA EXEC #3:  Hey there, I’m Toyota Boston!

ME:  Hey! I’m Robert… and I drive a Chrysler!

Yes, I am incorrigible, thank you for noticing. Incidentally, Toyota is a great company whose execs make great hotel guests; not every company or organization can make the same claim.

I’ve seen drunken bankers fornicate on folding tables in the hotel’s laundry room in the middle of the night.

Insurance agents make daredevils look like paraplegics. (I guess they figure they’re covered for any and all “emergencies”.)

Security once threw an ad executive out after he took a swing at a bartender.

A nun once grabbed my butt.  (I think she might have yelled, “Praise, Jesus!” afterwards… but I can’t be sure.

I’ve lost track of the number of preachers who have checked in on a regular basis and ordered hookers immediately. One gentleman always ordered a companion who appeared to be at least fifteen years old.

Yep, I’m being serious.

One of the wildest groups we ever hosted… consisted entirely of police officers. (Needless to say, we didn’t call 911 when they got out of hand.)

So thank you, Toyota, for being hyper, but happy and well-behaved.

See you in the lobby, kids…

By the way, nothing beats a Fourth of July post about a foreign car manufacturer – written by a Canadian, am I right?


About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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19 Responses to Oh, That Hook!

  1. Amanda Lyle says:

    A nun once grabbed your butt 😂

  2. 1jaded1 says:

    Yay for well behaved guests. Hopefully they tipped well. Love your chrysler interjection. Well played.

  3. HemmingPlay says:

    Praise Jesus. You’ve been blessed.

  4. Loved your Chrysler quip.

  5. Paul says:

    Well played my friend- well played. 😀

  6. umashankar says:

    Man, I am sold on your similes and metaphors! Creatures who make daredevils look line paraplegics! Move over Charles lamb. Incidentally, I belong to the tribe who fornicate on folding tables in the hotel’s laundry room in the middle of the night. You see, that is the only time and place Gods bestowed upon us!

  7. Your last line totally cracked me up! Great post (again).

  8. Tara says:

    Police officers are some of the rowdiest folks you’ll ever witness (IF you’re unlucky enough to witness). I know this bc an old boyfriend of mine was invited to a private party at a club that was all police officers… and the stuff he told me made me never want to have to call the police for help.

  9. Thanks for the expose of mild-mannered business people. Didn’t think there were any.

  10. Marion Hardy says:

    As usual you made me laugh!

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