The Hook’s Purge: Things I Love.

To be clear, I’m not actually purging myself of things I love in this post.

But “The Hook’s Share” made it sound as though I pulled a heist. (“Hook’s Eleven”, anyone?)  So here now, are a few of the many things I adore. And yes, there is room in my heart for love. Sure, the sarcasm, hatred for guests who stiff me, rage towards mean people and general dislike for many, many things in our world takes up a lot of space in my heart and mind, but there’s love in there too! So here we go.

 1)  Making love in the rain.  Or rather, when it’s raining. Going at it while your body is being pelted by raindrops will leave you with tenth-degree pneumonia. Before you know it, you’ll be cursing your sex drive and even the Lord himself for giving you sex organs in the first place. Trust me on this.

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2)  Oreo cookies.  Mere words cannot do these suckers justice. Ambrosia exists on Earth, friends. The wife does her best to keep the Oreos out of the house, lest I get to big to fit out the door. Then again, when we do get a bag or two in the house, she’s the one that removes the filling, reassembles the cookies and puts the resulting abomination back in the bag. Yes, I agree that such an act should be punishable by death. However, in her defense… she’s ridiculously-perfect.

3)  The dark.  Surprised? I’ve spent enough of my life fearing that which goes bump in the night.

No more.

Good things can happen in the dark, not just evil acts. Besides, I realized long ago that the greatest evil ever perpetrated upon my person happened in broad daylight, so the dark holds no real fear for me.

So there.

4)  Comic books.  Anyone with even a passing familiarity of The Hook knows I’m a ginormous geek. I’ve been one ever since I was a mere lad. Back then, comics were a safe haven from the challenges of my youth. Loneliness. Being an outcast. Abuse. My parents’ divorce. (It’s not a  cliché; the kids really do suffer most in a divorce.)

As I grew – like a redwood – comics books became something else entirely. Now comic book characters represent the many facets of the human condition. They represent the good and evil in the human heart. They stand for hope. And as they say, hope is a good thing, perhaps the best of things.

5)  Bacon.  Because, well… it’s bacon.

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6)  Popcorn.  Microwave. Jiffy Pop. Even the insanely-overpriced movie version.

I love it all. So does my dentist – but for vastly different reasons, obviously.

7)  Coca-Cola.  The sound a can of Coke makes when you pull that little tab is music to my Canadian ears. It’s been banned in our home but I still enjoy the occasional can of Coke from time to time. Shh…

8)  Murdoch Mysteries Again, this is no mystery to longtime readers, but for those of you who have no idea just why I love MM, here’s a quick primer:

  • It was my late father-in-law’s favorite “TV program”. It gave him hope as he battled emphysema. Near the end of his life, it gave him something to look forward to each day. In fact, he’d watch every airing of Murdoch he could find – even in his last days in the hospital.
  • Murdoch Mysteries is a damn good show on every level. Period.
  • The whole family can sit and watch MM. How many shows can you say that about these days?

9)  My family.  This pretty much goes without saying, right? And yet, five days a week I serve guests who appear to loathe their clan. To these folks, death would be preferable to a family vacation. Personally, I feel like my life didn’t really begin until I had a family. My wife, daughter and even that crazy little Shih Tzu named Chelsea, make my existence worthwhile.

10)  Niagara Falls Comic Con.  Not only do they have comics, they’re right in my backyard (or to be clear, a twenty-minute walk from my house) and they’re spectacular. Conventions like NFCC and Fan Expo Canada in Toronto provide a place of acceptance, a safe haven for people who feel like outcasts the rest of the year. A simple thing, really, but priceless.

11)  Watching a child discover something for the first time.  These days, admitting you watch a child do anything makes you sound creepy, but I assure my intentions are honorable. I think kids are amazing – when they’re not on my lawn or screaming in the lobby like howler monkeys on crack – and when a child first discovers one of the world’s mysteries… well, the look on their face will melt your heart and reaffirm your faith in humanity. Until you watch a Kardashian do anything, that is.

12)  My virtual pals.  Some would argue that social media has created a divide in humanity; we “communicate” online but we don’t really connect face-to-face anymore. Personally, I feel closer to some of my online friends than some of the people I grew up with.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the line between a casual virtual connection and a “real world’ one. But the bottom line is this: with WordPress or Twitter I would never have met most of you and the truth is, you’ve made my life even better. You lift me up (cue the Josh Groban background music), you give me confidence when I don’t have an ounce, and you make me feel like I’m contributing to the world – even if I’m only making a few souls laugh or consider tipping a bellman.

And I love you all for it. 

Even Ned Hickson.

That’s all I have for you today, friends. All this happiness stuff has me feeling weird. Time to go lip off to a guest or two while avoiding a trip to HR.

See you in the lobby…

About The Hook

Husband. Father. Bellman. Author of The Bellman Chronicles. Reader of comic books and observer and chronicler of the human condition. And to my wife's eternal dismay, a mere mortal and non-vampire. I'm often told I look like your uncle, cousin, etc. If I wore a hat, I'd hang it on a hat rack in my home in Niagara Falls, Canada. You can call me The Hook, everyone else does.
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37 Responses to The Hook’s Purge: Things I Love.

  1. What a wonderful list! And your WIFE, really? taking the white stuff out of the Oreos? Ah, how I have Oreos on my ‘love’ list too. But I stopped eating them when my son was about 20 and on a health binge and working out, lifting weights, biking 40 miles a day. He said Oreos would clog my arteries and heart and make me fat and ‘please mom, don’t ever bring them into the house.’ Yikes. They’ve been persona (oreona) non gratis every since. :-0
    Delightful post.

  2. Ned Hickson (he’s so dreamy, am I right?!) deserves your love. This is a great list – we have a few things in common. 💋

    • The Hook says:

      Yes, Ned’s dreamy.
      I’m no burn victim myself, though…
      And by the way, you’re definitely on my list too, Ann; it’s just difficult to list everyone without offending some one.

      But you’ll always hold a special place in my heart, you know that right?

  3. Paul says:

    Awesome list Hook. the only thing i might add is – have you ever tried maple flavored bacon? Pure ambrosia my friend – once you go maple,you’ll never go back.

  4. Great list! It’s so important to have things in life that you love. With your job, seeing people when they are traveling (stress!), you must see the best and the worst in them.

  5. I don’t get the bacon thing
    Making love in the rain may give you pneumonia in Canada, but not in the tropics
    Oreos have no place in my world
    I’m with you on microwave popcorn

  6. Allie P. says:

    I am not familiar with Murdoch Mysteries, but I love your reason for loving it.

    Also, it is a good thing my attempts at healthy eating prevent me from regularly purchasing oreos and popcorn as otherwise I fear there may not be enough in this world for the both of us.

  7. renxkyoko says:

    Loving MM, too.

  8. I agree with your list and could definitely make it on a desert island with nothing but bacon, Oreos, Coke, my family, rain, popcorn , a flashlight, my computer, this remote, this chair, and a generator. And maybe some beer, gin, olives, ice, Cheetos, salsa, chips, and charcoal.

  9. MissFourEyes says:

    oreos, bacon, and popcorn (caramel popcorn) together. Heaven

  10. I’m thinking you have a guy crush on Ned or something!! he he! We have a lot in common.. bacon, popcorn, Murdoch Mysteries, but NOTHING compares to Oreo cookies and a big glass of milk!! Mmmmm…..

  11. Paul says:

    As an aside Hook, I just did a guest post over at Cordelia’s Mom’s. I would be honored if you had the time to drop by. Thank you. https://cordeliasmomstill.com/2016/06/11/youre-insane-guest-post-by-paul-curran/comment-page-1/#comment-17509

  12. vinnieh says:

    Making love while it rains sounds good, will have to try it.

  13. Tara says:

    I’m with you on the Oreos. We just bought a bag last week (first time in months) and it was gone in two days. And your wife? After my own heart. I do it too, but I feed the “abomination” to the dogs. =D

  14. A says:

    You mentioned on my blog that you and I are cut from the same cloth… so many of the things you love, I love too!
    The dark – There is something about it, the silence of the night is peaceful and calming.
    BACON!!! I don’t trust people who don’t like bacon unless they’re vegetarians, vegetarians get a pass (I guess).
    While family can be very frustrating at times, they are always there for you with open and loving arms to fall into during the hardest of times – ya gotta cherish them!
    Children are amazing little creatures, especially when they discover something new – the light in their eyes, the joy and wonderment – a breath of fresh air!
    Virtual pals – I can’t say enough about this one. I think I actually have more virtual friends than real life friends at this point, though I’m not sure I should admit that!!
    Anyway, great post my (virtual) friend 🙂 ❤

  15. I thought I loved popcorn until I tried kettle corn. Now regular popcorn is so 5 minutes ago. But bacon. Low Sodium for me. Ahhh. A life without bacon is not worth living. Glad to bump into you again, Man of Many Hats.

  16. curvyroads says:

    And we virtual friends love you too! 🙂

  17. What an AWESOME post!!! And yes… how can you not love bacon!!!!(Especially those homemade BLT’s!!!!!) I love that you threw Murdoch Mysteries in there as well! I’m getting to know more and more of Canadian and British brothers and sisters due to BBC and Acorn TV!!
    I should make a list…. question is ….can I keep it to under 20!!!!? 🙂

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